posted
I have a supervisor at work who is doing some research on ADD, and he has mentioned that girls tend to have very different symptoms of ADD than boys. Generally, ADD girls are not discipline problems at school like boys often are, but tend to daydream instead. I'm starting to wonder if my daughter doesn't have ADD.
She's an excellent student, but has a very difficult time remembering to bring assignments and projects to school when they're finished. She cannot seem to remember simple instructions. - For example, last night, I asked her to help me set the table. I asked her to put forks, napkins and salt and pepper on the table. She got the forks, started chasing the cat around, finally put them on the table and then left to go back to her room until dinner. Did I mention that she's almost 16?
These aren't really new behaviors, but they seem to have gotten worse in the past year or so. I was just wondering if any of you women here have ADD or daughters with diagnosed ADD and can give me some advice on how to proceed here.
Posts: 2069 | Registered: May 2001
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Boon
unregistered
posted
Yep, that's me.
Also, I read constantly...and when I'm reading, I see/hear/notice NOTHING else. My husband has threatened to cut up my library card more than once!
Total lack of motivation to do ANYTHING repetitive and mind-numbing. To the point ... ah, shoot. The phone rang and I lost my train of thought.
Having to do one specific job for too long is a bad thing. Boredom is NOT something I can deal with easily. Part of the reason I quit my job is that they cut off my internet access there. 8+ hours with nothing to do but read the IRS website...no thanks.
I hate video games...except Mario 64. I could play that thing for days!
I often get so involved with whatever I'm doing/thinking/reading that I forget all about appointments, meals, and chores.
Have I mentioned my total clutziness and short-term memory loss?
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quote: For example, last night, I asked her to help me set the table. I asked her to put forks, napkins and salt and pepper on the table. She got the forks, started chasing the cat around, finally put them on the table and then left to go back to her room until dinner. Did I mention that she's almost 16?
Speaking as someone who does not have ADD, I can say that this sounds an awful like my own aversion to any sort of labour at that age. I often forgot things on a regular basis, I still do. I forget names and words. I have a problem completing sentences.
To me, she just sounds to me like a teenager preoccupied with "other things" (I don't mean something in particular, I mean thoughts and ideas and what's going on in her life, schoolwork etc), and who dislikes helping- so that anything is good to distract her.
This may be just special to me:
I also used to fake a worse memory than I actually had. Pretending to be ignorant of what was actually happening, in all sorts of situations, enabled me to escape. This was a tactic developed to deal with bad situations but ended up being a tactic used to avoid little things.
i.e. if questioned if I had done such and such yet, I would answer. "Ooops, I forgot, I'll do it now." when actually I knew exactly what I was supposed to have done.
Being labled as absent minded or somewhat stupid about reality was useful.
All in all, sounds pretty normal to me. If she's achieving at school, I'd say, from my non-ADD pov, leave her be as she is- just try and nudge her to remember.
EDIT:
I took Boon's test and checked nine of the eleven things, and they were all things that I generally do on a regular basis. I do not have ADD.
posted
She's always been perfectly content to sit by herself and daydream. She prefers to sit in the back seat of the car when we go to town, and never talks. Once I thought she was sulking about something, but she denied it and said she was just daydreaming.
The other night, I was telling my girls about some travel I have coming up for work in a few weeks and the arrangements I'm making for them while I'm gone, and when I was done, she asked "Are you going somewhere?" She was sitting next to me in the front seat of the car... in the dark, so there wasn't anything even to look at to distract her. But she had completely zoned out and hadn't heard a word I said.
I was pretty harsh with her on that occasion, but I'm wondering if I should try to get a clinician's opinion on her now.
Posts: 2069 | Registered: May 2001
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posted
I spend a lot of time day dreaming, I tune people out all the time, and I get distracted easily. Yet, sadly, I'm not a girl so I guess I don't have ADD. *le sigh*
Posts: 3243 | Registered: Apr 2002
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posted
Thanks, Boon. That pretty much describes her. I'll see about getting her an appointment with our pediatrician.
She's actually a very sweet girl, and tries very hard to be good. She fights a fair amount with her sister, but she never talks back to me or gives me grief - intentionally anyway.
Posts: 2069 | Registered: May 2001
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posted
maui, you are basically describing me! I sit in the back seat quietly, I look out the window. My mind takes me far away. It always has. I hope it always will.
If someone is talking to me and I'm particularly involved in my own thoughts, then yes, I might miss an entire conversation. I do sometimes. Sometimes I forget entire conversations.
Obviously you know your daughter best, but I really do not think that what you have listed so far is anything but someone involved in their own thoughts.
EDIT: Bob the Lawyer, you post exactly like a friend of mine, and it's actually starting to worry me. It's the "le sigh" which is really odd. And no, you're not my friend, this I'm sure of. She's female.
posted
I'm with the Teshster. I checked off more than 2/3rds of the things on Boons list and keep in mind that I skipped the ones about periods or feeling different than other girls. I'd just describe myself as both absent minded and, much as I may dislike it, largely self-centered. Occasionally it's irritating to the point of distraction for myself and those around me, but for the most part everyone gets along fine.
Posts: 3243 | Registered: Apr 2002
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If you think your kid has ADD, seeing a professional seems like the best idea. Your pediatrician should refer her to someone for testing for a good diagnosis or a rule-out.
Posts: 14745 | Registered: Dec 1999
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posted
I would say it's worth checking out, I wish my ADD had been diagnosed years ago - learning about it earlier can only be a help.
The professionals that treat me, my therapist and psychiatrist, both believe that ADD is way under diagnosed in girls.
Posts: 14428 | Registered: Aug 2001
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posted
I have trouble dealing with anything tedious or mondane. It's one reason why I hate cleaning so much and why my place is a disaster. Perhaps I have that... I always have to be doing several things at once too. I have to listen to music while reading, while cooking or eating all at the same time. And if I am not doing anything, like if I am not reading a book I get frustrated...
Posts: 9942 | Registered: Mar 2003
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posted
Based on the questionarres I've seen about ADD, myself and all of my friends have it. I'm distracted easily, forgetful, daydream too much... but I do fine, for the most part. I just have to keep about three calenders.
Posts: 60 | Registered: Oct 2001
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She was sitting next to me in the front seat of the car... in the dark, so there wasn't anything even to look at to distract her. But she had completely zoned out and hadn't heard a word I said.![[Wave]](graemlins/wave.gif)
