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I'm always impressed when I meet passionate, dedicated people, and this guy was both of those things as well as laid back, pleasant and funny. I was also impressed with how well he spoke the language, he had only been in Norway for fifteen months.
He invited me and my friend to a barbecue on saturday. We might actually attend, even though we have no interest in converting. Is this okay, or are we giving him false hopes?
Posts: 739 | Registered: Dec 2003
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Nope, you're fine - attend the barbeque, eat their food, and if they serve jello you are officially allowed to mock it.
You only give false hopes by promising anything you don't intend to do/keep, but the barbeque sounds fine - like fun. You can tell us what the LDS in Norway are like.
Posts: 26077 | Registered: Mar 2000
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I don't think there's any harm in going to the barbecue anyway. It's not like you're going on a date with him even though you don't like him. And anyway, he's probably used to hearing people say that they're not interested, so I'm sure he'll be fine.
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Will the activity be used as an opportunity to get to know you better and possibly extend the invitation again? Yes, most likely it will be. But, that's not the only purpose in inviting you. Most members of the Church genuinely like helping others have a good time whether they're investigators or not.
It all depends on you...does that sort of thing bother you?
He'll only get "false hopes" if you tell him you're interested in being taught but you're really not.
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Well, what if I'm interested in learning about the religion, but have no real interest in converting?
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Actually, tell them that. They might say "We can't help." (they are there to find those interested in converting), and they might say fine, let's start, and then they will probably ask you again later, in case what you learned and how you feel has changed your mind.
Depending on the mission, anywhere from one in ten to one in a hundred of the people missionaries teach will actually convert.
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Some people would probably laugh, and some would probably look at you askance, and some might ask you to leave. It all depends on how obnoxious you were about it, and what kind of people they were.
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It would be as blatantly disrespectful as bringing a roasted pig to a Seder. You'd probably be treated like someone who would do that.
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My mom had some mormon missionaries come to her house once. They were very nice, and offered to come and do some work around her house. My mom lives alone and isn't in the condition to do those sorts of things. I was very pleased that they offered to help her and she accepted. I was disappointed in my own church that they did not help her. I'm sure she didn't lead them on that she was interested in converting, but they still helped her.
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Katarain, missionaries are required to do service hours, and most I have talked to enjoy them, so they really are genuinely glad to help. Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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Missionaries do four hours of service a week. For some, it is scheduled (we worked at a food bank and...other stuff like that - I can't remember), and for some, they are to look for opportunities and make sure they get four hours in, but not more. It can be very tempting to skip the Knock-and-get-rejected routine to do service, which is why they are supposed to limit them.
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I had a companion that used to offer to chop wood for people, whether they needed it or not. I think he found it therapeutic.
One of my favorite things to do was during the corn harvest. In Central America, everyone in the household gathers out in the courtyard to shuck the ears of corn. You have to do it a certain way, so that the husks are intact, because they are used later to wrap tamalitos or other local dishes. The husked ears are then placed on the rooftops to dry. Once they are dry, everyone gathers once again to twist the kernels off the cobs. It is a time-consuming process.
So in the weeks following the harvest, if I offered to come in and helped with either shucking the corn or removing the kernels I was usually quite welcome. I got to be really good at it. And my super-fast shucking technique has stood me in good stead since I returned.
Posts: 1652 | Registered: Aug 2003
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quote:missionaries are required to do service hours
Well, that takes all the selflessness out of it.
Well, the entire mission is a volunteer thing, so by volunteering to go in the first place, you're volunteering to do your "required" service hours.
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I'm having a hard time believing that bringing jello shots to a Mormon barbeque would be as blatantly disrespectful as bringing pork to one of the more serious Jewish holiday observances, but whatever floats your boat....
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How volunteer is it, though, JB? Isn't it basically a serious social taboo to be a young LDS male and not go on your mission?
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In some places and times, it has been. In general, a young LDS man is expected to go on a mission. All things being equal, it is considered a spiritual obligation. However, all things are not equal. There are legitimate reasons not to go, and in recent years those reasons have been expanded.
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quote:Originally posted by Primal Curve: How volunteer is it, though, JB? Isn't it basically a serious social taboo to be a young LDS male and not go on your mission?
Young men are urged to go, but if they don't aren't ostracized or disfellowshipped. (not by the Church, anyway. The young man's family might express disappointment openly. It depends on the family.)
Because, one of the most important things is that the young man actually wants to go...to do this of his own moral agency. That's why the interviews and requirements are so strict.
I went when I was 20, not 19...because I needed to sort out my feelings and motives on whether I actually wanted to do this or was going to do it because I had been told to. My Church leaders and family understood that.
Going on a mission is important, which is why they want young men doing it because they actually want to. And are prepared to.
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quote:Originally posted by Primal Curve: How volunteer is it, though, JB? Isn't it basically a serious social taboo to be a young LDS male and not go on your mission?
I've read more than once that only one-third of Mormon young men go on missions. I know lots of guys that haven't gone (me included).
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PC, my husband did not serve a mission. (There were extenuating circumstances.) Lots of people act embarrassed when he says he didn't go; many girls wouldn't talk to him after they found out he hadn't gone on a mission when he was single. (Actually, when asked where he served his mission, he usually says "Richardson"-- the city where we live-- because he was called as Ward Mission Leader during much of that time, and considers it the equivalent.) We hope to go on a couples mission when we're older. Yes, there is a definite social stigma, even when it's becuase of circumstances that couldn't possibly be controlled by the young man. But with physical and emotional requirements getting stricter, I see more and more young men not going, and less of a stigma involved, in the future.
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quote:Originally posted by Primal Curve: How volunteer is it, though, JB? Isn't it basically a serious social taboo to be a young LDS male and not go on your mission?
I've read more than once that only one-third of Mormon young men go on missions. I know lots of guys that haven't gone (me included).
Well, now I have more reasons to call you a goober.
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You didn't have enough already? But just in case you weren't aware, I have health problems that prevented me from going.
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"He invited me and my friend to a barbecue on saturday. We might actually attend, even though we have no interest in converting. Is this okay, or are we giving him false hopes?"
Bear in mind that this is how they get you. Next thing you know, you'll meet some hot Mormon chick and wind up announcing on Hatrack that you're leaving for a mission a year or so later.
Posts: 37449 | Registered: May 1999
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I grinned at two biking Mormon missionaries on campus yesterday. I'm sure they thought I was insane. Posts: 4077 | Registered: Jun 2003
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He converted (mostly, anyway, if without the actual baptism) before he and Annie started dating.
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When I met my first Mormon missionaries, it was while I was working for Habitat for Humanity in Bulgaria. Appearently they would come over to the house we were working on every Thursday and help the construction workers build for a couple of hours. It was nice, they swooped in, broke up a concrete slab for us, and acted as 8 extra interpreters.
quote:Bear in mind that this is how they get you. [Wink] Next thing you know, you'll meet some hot Mormon chick and wind up announcing on Hatrack that you're leaving for a mission a year or so later.
Hehe, no thanks. I already have a girlfriend and I'm planning on bringing her to the barbecue .
Plus, I have a lot of opinions and beliefs that seem to conflict with what the majority of mormons believe. I'm just going to go to the barbecue, have a good time, and be as respectful as I can towards other people's beliefs while not trying to hide my own.
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Hey, Jello Shots are fine, as long as it's actually just a shot glass filled with Jello (No ackyhall)
Posts: 3003 | Registered: Oct 2004
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Actually, I've had parties and dinners before where I invited both LDS and non-LDS friends and some of my guests, unaware of my religion, brought alcohol. I wasn't offended at all (they were bringing really nice wine as a gift! How thoughful!) and actually worried about whether or not I had offended them in politely turning it down by explaining that most of us there didn't drink.
It's all about intentions. If someone naïvely showed up at a Seder with a pork roast, I'm sure the hosts would be understanding. However, if someone knew I was LDS and purposely brought Jello shots because they thought it was a funny way to mock me, I think I would be a little hurt. Not because there was evil fire water in my house, but because a friend was being intentionally rude.
On a completely different topic: Annie is not a "hot Mormon chick." Annie is, until further notice, to be refered to as Sister Majors. Posts: 8504 | Registered: Aug 1999
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Yeah, I can understand that reaction, Annie... but when I think about someone bringing an intact cooked pig into our house for a Seder, I know that it would make my husband nauseous and quite upset, and ruin his evening. I don't know if that would be the norm for most Jews, but for families who go to such painstaking efforts to clean their houses for Passover, it seems like it would be a particularly mortifying gesture, far beyond a few hurt feelings because friends were trying to mock you.
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If someone brought Jello shots and didn't mention what was in them, I'd imagine most Mormons would have the same reaction.
Posts: 26077 | Registered: Mar 2000
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Just for the record, I wouldn't bring Jello shots to a Mormon shindig. In fact, I'd never even make the things. I mean, really, they are the ultimate in lame, Frat-party alcoholism. I have a much more refined taste in alcohol (or so I'd like to think) and don't need Jello to dumb it down so that it tastes like candy. I just thought it was an amusing way of making Jello very non-LDS.
I also would respect the fact that you don't consume alcohol, caffeine or any hot drink and just bring root beer or lemonade or something. Maybe I'd just play it safe and bring potato chips instead. Posts: 4753 | Registered: May 2002
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It is true, though. When I took my discussions, more than a few of them were at the houses of guys with Hot Young Mormon Wives™.
If I didn't know better, I'd have thought that they were implying that one was included in the Baptismal Package.
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Annie:"On a completely different topic: Annie is not a "hot Mormon chick." Annie is, until further notice, to be refered to as Sister Majors."
Being missionaries never stopped a lot of the Sisters in my mission from being Hot Mormon Chicks. I just never would have called them that. To their faces.
Although by the end, I was (jestingly) "engaged" to three or four of them.
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Oh, you were that elder! The one that gets along with the sisters.
The elders will either love you or hate you, Sister M. It always seems to work that way. In my last area, an elder and I were in the same district for seven months. He was darling, my elder buddy, and I talked to him about six months ago. Very fun.
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