Rugged back-country conditions. Super-powerful car tearing up the terrain causing untold damage to the local ecosystem. Driver, possessed by some demon, screaming with maniacal laughter as he careens off a 300 foot cliff into the ravine below.
Voice over (in that weird kind of low growly voice):
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Scene opens to Barney singing "I love you, you love me..."
A Shot rings out. Barney falls.
PikaChu goes running across the screen followed by the sound of automatic rifle fire. Off screen we hear "Pika--Kablooey."
more un-beloved cartoon characters and childrens idols roll across the screen to be met with rapid arms fire.
At the end a title emerges--"Brought to you by the NRA. Making the world better, one shot at a time."
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A woman is shown standing in Filene's. She sees a blouse she really likes. She picks it up, and lets the silky smoothness caress her face. A close-up of the price tag: 200 dollars. Her face falls. She glances toward the doorway. She notices the security guard talking to a hot 20 year-old shopper. She stuffs the shirt in her bag and runs out the door, as the alarm sounds because of that annoying bar-thingy attached to the garment.
As she runs out into the mall and blends in with the passing crowd, these words appear at the bottom of the screen:
Just Do It
[ January 21, 2005, 09:46 PM: Message edited by: Elizabeth ]
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posted
You could do a close up shot of the shoes the shoplifter is wearing. Make it into more of an atheletic shoe for today's shoplifter.
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posted
A large man staggers around with a lampshade on his head, his shirt off wearing lurid boxer shorts while a friend films him. He has two mugs of beer in his chubby hands and is singing off key.
The Witch king, on the fields outside Gondor, whips out his big freaky mace thing.
Cross to: a boy and a girl in a car. The boy is a bit too close for comfort. The girl's eyes narrow, and you see her hand rummaging in her purse for a can.
The Witch King swings his weapon, putting major smackdown on everyone within twenty feet.
A shot outside the car: it sits, quietly, then suddenly a huge dent distorts its form; a dent in the shape of a mace, with a smaller man-shaped dent.
A can of Mace. Voice over: "Mace: it really works."
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posted
Elizabeth, my children will never watch Barney. Or Teletubbies. Or anything else of that nature.
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posted
(We interupt this thread for a moment of rant) Of the annoying purply-dressed things. Here's my beef with Barney. I've seen a few episodes of it, and each one was supposedly teaching kids to use their imaginations. Right. When did we have to teach kids to use their imagination? Oh right. When TV came around. Wait. TV...Barney...Hmmmmm...... (We now continue with our regularly scheduled thread)
[ January 22, 2005, 07:53 PM: Message edited by: Boris ]
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posted
[continues derail] I have three kids who were once two- and three-year-olds. They NEVER watched Barney in my home, and I did my best to reduce what they saw of it elsewhere.
Mr. Rogers (as an example) taught kids to own their feelings, that it was ok to be sad, angry, and so on. Barney teaches kids that if they're sad or angry, we should sing a happy song and make everything all better. [/derail]
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posted
The camera shows a lovely house in the suburbs. There is a lighted window downstairs. The camera zooms in on this window, and shows a shower, with the outline of a woman taking a shower. On closer view, a head is shown looking in the window.
A song plays:
"Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there..."
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posted
I've posted this one before in a different thread but I'll give it one more go.
A bevy of women are discussing the efficacy of sanitary napkins. They are seated in a diner that is an exact copy of Rosie's Diner from the old Bounty paper towel commercials. A Rosie look-alike has a couple of sherbert glasses filled with red juice. Voice over says, "We're here at Rosies Diner to see which product is the quicker picker uppper" Close-up of product being pushed into the juice....
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posted
I always think of this when I see the travel commercials where people shout don't think twice about going on vacation. Some people will say things like, "but who will feed my goldfish", and then a crowd of people yell "don't think twice" and then they go on the trip.
I think that it would be funny if one guy said "But if I go, i'll have to kill everyone!" and then when they tell him to go anyway, they switch to a scene of him strapped with dynamite shouting "Here I come!"
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posted
I really enjoyed this thread, but people stopped making joke ads. So. *bump*
I'll even get the ball rolling again.
Commercial for the new Saturn Ion with dent resistant panels. Sequel to the commercial where it gets hit with shopping carts and buses.
[Intro] Saturn ION is sitting in a field.
Cave troll runs up to it and bashes it with it's giant hammer. No damage.
Witch King comes up and bashes it with his mace. No damage.
A mumakil rolls it over with its tusks, no damage.
Camera pans over to the three of them shrugging their shoulders at the car and walking away. Camera pans back to car. Frodo hops out and flicks the ring into the air, laughing.
Line reads: "The new Saturn ION, a new car for today's ringbearer."
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posted
Does anyone else remember the old "There's no wrong way to eat a Reese's" commercials? Here's one I always wanted to see.
Table with Reese's Peanut Butter Cup package sitting on it. 12-year-old boy walks onto camera and sits down at table.
Voiceover: "This is Timmy Johnson."
Timmy opens up the wrapper and takes out the peanut butter cups, holding one in each hand while the Voiceover says "This is how Timmy Johnson eats a Reese's Peanut Butter cup."
Timmy smashes the cups into his forehead and rubs his hands frantically on his head, spreading melty chocolate and peanut butter into his hair and covering his face.
Voiceover: " ... Okay, there's some wrong ways to eat a Reese's."
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My girls did not watch Barney until their pediatrician suggested that we show it to them. We got a lot of second-hand video tapes and watched them all.
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This was right after she told us she thought they might be retarded, so we were a bit distracted.
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posted
Was her evidence that they might be retarded that they weren't already big Barney fans? Because I would take their not being fans as an OPPOSITE sign.
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