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You know that song about the Ding-a-ling? He used to deny playing with his silver bells all on a string, but his mother would say, "Don't lie, Berry."
Posts: 26071 | Registered: Oct 2003
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Two men, one actually a secret squishy alien from Xorgtrex who was younger than the human, were walking down the street, when the alien noticed a clone of the human. Xorgtrexians automatically get very squishy when they have fear. However, the human knew about his clone, and said to the alien, "The fresh man seen yer soft more, junior!"
Posts: 206 | Registered: Jun 2005
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When the school introduced computers and internet access, they had to make sure to control their use so that crimes could not be committed with school property. It's called the vice principle.
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Bob, I thought you went to bed. Do I have to send one of those new Homeland Security Spying Robot Bee's to watch over you?
"Spying Robot Bee's" you gasp? Yes, they have miniauture video cameras in them, who's video recordings are excepted in every court in the land. That's because we all know the importances of what A Bee Sees.
Posts: 11895 | Registered: Apr 2002
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Hey Dan, Those talking trees seem to have pretty loose hierarchy of leadership. I'm wondering if anyone has run across a Tru Ent officer?
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I had an English teacher that was a bit wacky. The first day of school she marched us out to this wildly painted bus and we spent the hour being instructed on all the intricacies of our silly bus.
Posts: 2022 | Registered: Mar 2004
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I had a very specialized education. In the morning we would harvest hollow-stemmed grasses, then there was a block of time to practice our equestrian skills before lunch. In the afternoon we'd have music & dance class, where they'd teach us to have spasmodic muscular contractions to the beat of the music. Yep, my school focused on the basics of Reeding, Riding, and A Rhythmic Tic.
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I appreciated the plethora of counselors that my high school provided. There was even a counselor for each gender at our school dances. I'm still thankful for the advice I received from the guy dance counselor.
Posts: 2022 | Registered: Mar 2004
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In most schools, the principal's second-in-command is in charge of discipline. In medieval schools, discipline was a little more severe, and a visit to the vise principal's office was very serious. Especially when he was trying to clamp down on misbehavior.
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When I was in highschool I used to run errands for the teachers after school as a part-time job. I had a cheap little car at the time. It ran pretty well except that you could feel every little bump or dip in the road, no matter how minor. That became a problem one day when I needed to pick some things up for both the Drama teacher and the Chemistry teacher.
First I went to get the supplies for the Chemistry teacher. At the store I picked up flask full of a noncolloidal dispersion of solid particles in a liquid, and put it in the backseat of my car. Then I went to the dry-cleaners and picked up the costumes for the school play, like the Drama teacher told me too. I put those in the backseat, too. Unfortunately, as I was driving back to school I went over a pothole. It was so shallow that most people wouldn't even notice driving over it, but that cheap little car was shaken so badly that the flask tipped over and spilled all over the costumes.
When I got to school the costumes were ruined and the chemicals were completely wasted. I was in so much trouble that they told me not to bother coming back to school for a whole week. The only good that came from the experience was that it made me immediately go out and by the parts I needed to fix my poor car.
That was the only time I ever got three suspensions in one day!
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Usually the king was in charge of the school and the prince was in charge of punishment. One of the prince's friends was in charge of all the naughty stuff. He was the Vice Princie's Pal.
Posts: 11895 | Registered: Apr 2002
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this is truly an elementary pun-ishment. I'm getting hot under the scholar trying to think of what I want to spell out with this post.
Posts: 325 | Registered: Aug 2002
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Bumped for Elizabeth, I'm inclined to nominate Elizabeth as the punster with the most likely material for this thread. As our candidate Elect, Sure she can provide some timeless puns.
Posts: 2022 | Registered: Mar 2004
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Speaking of Tolkien, did you know he considered having a third major villian in The Lord Of The Rings. His name would have been Sauroos. However, he found himself repeating the same motifs with this character as with the others. That is why his journal notes: "I've been saying the same things with different words via The Saur Oos."
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