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I have this year started compulsively pulling out my hair. It built up a lot before I finally admitted I need help, so I'm fighting an uphill battle on it. I've been trying to divide up time, and reward myself if I go a certain length of time pull-free. Trouble is, sugar is bad for it, so candy's out, and I need small rewards, for things like 5 hours. I don't have money enough to buy a new book every time I go 5 hours pull-free (although if I go two weeks, I get Blade of Fortriu, but that'll be a good long while)
How would you reward yourself? Any suggestions? Doesn't have to be material, just something that would be a reward.
Posts: 3493 | Registered: Jul 2001
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How about putting away some money in a pot towards buying fancy hair things (barrettes, bands, clips, whatever you like using)?
Posts: 650 | Registered: Mar 2005
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I don't know about a reward, but if your doing it without thinking about it (like a biting nails kinda thing) then I know other things that can help you try and stop. You could try making bubbles with your mouth. When I had a problem biting my nails, I would just make bubbles with my mouth, and I would do that instinctively instead of chewing on my fingers. Try stuff like that.
Posts: 879 | Registered: Apr 2005
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I do stuff like forbid myself to enter a used book store until I've met a goal. Then I browse new bookstores for something I really want and set an ambitious goal to deserve that. Then you have a reward and a threat both at once so you have motivation for more than just one mood.
Posts: 866 | Registered: Dec 2003
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I'm not sure how to make this applicable to hair-pulling, but the only way I quit biting my nails permanently was by getting acrylics and leaving them on for like 6 weeks, so that I *couldn't* bite them. I'd tried the willpower and self-distraction tactics before, but the longest that ever lasted was maybe 3 months. The acrylics happened about two years ago, and I never feel the urge to bite my nails anymore.
Could you maybe keep your hair in a ponytail all the time so it's more or less inaccessible to you? That might help. Or maybe wear a hat or bandanna/scarf so it's always covered up (and thus inaccessible)?
As far as little rewards go, I like the idea of putting a dollar or so in a jar for each time segment...and that way you're saving up for your big reward at the same time. If you break your streak, then take the money out and spend it on something boring and non-frivolous, like a credit card bill or gas or something. Good luck!!
Posts: 952 | Registered: Jun 2005
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How about really spicy chai sweetened with a little Splenda? In the winter it's lovely. Or some lavendar scented hand creme? Finally, the Xbox has many rewards, one of which is keeping your mind off things for long periods of time.
Posts: 516 | Registered: Aug 2004
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I used to know someone who had a medical condition that caused her to pull her hair out, and there's medication that can help you control it, if you think that you might have that. I don't remember what it was called, though.
Posts: 1547 | Registered: Jan 2004
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It sounds like Toretha is already getting the help she needs, gang, as to how to stop ("before I finally admitted I need help") now we just need to help her think of small rewards she can use periodic throughout the day.
Yeah - I tend to think oral gratification too -- so I may not be very good with ideas. Do you have any favorite nuts or other snacks that aren't candy? Kinda hard to think of a reward without knowing much about what kinds of things you enjoy....
posted
I was going to suggest time in the library alone, but that might not work for Toretha like it does for me - as a busy mom alone time in the library is heaven for me.
I like the sugar free snack idea, or is there something you really like to eat or drink that is sugar free that you normally deny yourself because it's too expensive?
What about a luxurious bubble bath? Buy some fancy, very expensive shampoo and treat you and your hair when you've been successful.
Posts: 14428 | Registered: Aug 2001
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How about getting a big soft fuzzy squishy stuffed animal and getting a hug from it as a reward? Realize how proud of you the animal is, and how much it loves you and wants you to do well.
Or maybe spend some extra time with Nora.
Reward yourself with one day a week off from studying if you do well all week.
Or get some special really fun cool toy and let yourself play with it as a reward.
Start sleeping with no pillow, and let yourself sleep with the pillow as a reward. Okay, maybe it's not so great as a reward to take something away that you like, then allow it back. Maybe if there's something that would be extra healthy for you to do, but it's not so pleasant so you never do it, you could make that the new "normal" and reward yourself with lapses when you go a whole day without pulling.
Posts: 6246 | Registered: Aug 2004
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posted
How about this: Get a Gameboy. Everytime you go a few days without pulling, buy yourself a new game. That way- you have a reward, plus something to do with your hands that doesn't involve pulling your hair. It worked for me and biting my nails.
Posts: 1591 | Registered: Jul 2005
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I think you are still vastly overestimating the reasonable resources of a typical college student Posts: 15770 | Registered: Dec 2001
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I guess the problem I have here is that most of the things I would use as "rewards" aren't good for me, so I'd feel guilty doing them -- and most of the things that are good for me I should be doing more of already. You might want to identify something you already do that's a bit of a bad habit and turn it into a "reward."
Posts: 37449 | Registered: May 1999
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Get a really good book, one you have been really looking forward to reading, and allow yourself 15 minutes for every 5 hours you go pull free. Extend the time every day by half an hour. So today, you go 5 hours, you get to read for 15 minutes -- get a timer and make yourself put the book down no matter where you are in the story. If you find yourself pulling, you have to start your 5 hour pull-free time over.
Also, get a friend to ask you how you're doing on quitting. After you've gone two weeks, really splurge on sometime you want. Two weeks is supposed to be the indicator of a broken or established habit. Good luck!
Posts: 5948 | Registered: Jun 2001
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quote:Originally posted by fugu13: CT: most libraries do not rent video games, particularly those for handheld devices.
Why would it need to be handheld?
(Honest confusion -- I'm pretty techno-stupid, if that wasn't already abundantly clear.) Aren't there some games one can rent to play on a laptop or a PC, or have I just been outrageously lucky in my choice of libraries? *grin
But maybe Toretha doesn't have access to a computer of any sort at home?
Posts: 14017 | Registered: May 2000
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quote:Originally posted by Tatiana: How about getting a big soft fuzzy squishy stuffed animal and getting a hug from it as a reward? Realize how proud of you the animal is, and how much it loves you and wants you to do well.
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Draw up a list of websites you really like visiting on a fairly regular basis (I have about six of these: ds.ign.com, engadget.com, sakeriver, hatrack, cnn.com, macrumors.com, retrothing.com) and let yourself visit one of them every five hours.
Or if you like arcade games, you could set aside 1-2 quarters every time interval, then go to the arcade every few days to spend your earnings.
If you already have a game, you could allow yourself one level of play, or one life of play per segment of time.
Posts: 1261 | Registered: Apr 2004
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You could also try putting on a different piece of jewelry every five hours. I think that could be pretty fun. In fact, I think I'm going to try that! Posts: 1261 | Registered: Apr 2004
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You could get some marbles and a jar, and when the jar is full of marbles, get something nice, like a new piece of clothing, whatever. If you need more frequent rewards, you can mark lines on the jar. When you hit the first line, you go out for a piece of pizza. When you hit the next line, you get a new book, or whatever. When the jar is full, you get soething really nice, like a trip to the spa.
Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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Well, then here'd be a fee for the gaming device, plus the rental fee for each game. Plus all the time spent playing the game, when college kids don't have much extra time.
The online games would be cheaper, maybe.
But I still vote for library books. 50 pages for 5 hours or something. Or little, cheaper presents you can afford. Like, I used to splurge on a new pen if I did well on a test. Or buy a new bathroom soap or shampoo that smells great. Something small that doesn't cost much but you can still have fun picking it out and using it.
Posts: 1014 | Registered: Jul 2005
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If you normally watch TV, then maybe you can cut yourself off and use that as a reward. TV is free. Posts: 952 | Registered: Jun 2005
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I don't have a TV. I DO have a computer, but I stopped playing games on it long ago, because once I start I have to finish and it uses up way too much time, that I'd be happier spending making jewelry. Even did I still play games, the sort of games I like tend to get stressful (exciting, really, but it's still stress) which is what I'm trying to eliminate.
Library books might well work, though, and if my family would cooperate (I'm hesitant to ask right now since my parents are both exhausted from working at the shelters, but later I can) I can use library trips, which I'd never have thought of, and really enjoy. Short stories too-that would be perfect, since I don't have the self control to start a really good book then stop after only 15 minutes.
Limiting web access is a very good idea, I may do that...and pineapples and raspberries are both good foods I rarely splurge on.
For the rest: I'm getting help. Seeing a therapist, wearing a hat or a scarf at all times, and keeping my hands busy as much as possible-I got permission to knit in all my classes, and I just shocked my friends when in the movie theatre I took out my knitting and did it while watching. But hey, by the time I get control, I'll have LOTS of scarves!
Thanks, everyone, I really really appreciate the suggestions, yall have some great ideas I'd never have thought of.
Posts: 3493 | Registered: Jul 2001
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Maybe you could do some jewelry for a reward!
A grade-school teacher friend of mine has a treat box for her kids. Some is candy, but there are also non-edibles like pencils, crayons, bookmarks . . . maybe you could translate this into adult terms and have some type of small rewards from your own box!
Posts: 1877 | Registered: Apr 2005
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This year I'm planning to buy myself cherries everytime I get an A on a test. So far the only test I've taken had a horrible curve, so I did pretty well, but didn't get an A. /tangent
Posts: 4655 | Registered: Jan 2002
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Pick up cross-stitch. They have cute little 99cent decorations and stuff you can make that are fairly easy. That way, you reward yourself, keep your hands busy, and make stuff look pretty, all at the same time, for a low, one time payment of 99cents.
Posts: 1591 | Registered: Jul 2005
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When I've had people I absolutely cannot stand in my life, the very worst thing I've ever been able to think of doing to them was removing myself permanently from their lives. This was not my intent, however -- it just happened to be coincidental with the healthiest thing to do, all around. But I always felt bad about it, anyway.
I think this means I have extraordinarily high self-esteem.* But I also make a pretty easy archnemesis, as I usually just go away. So it balances out on the karma scale.
*read: "am totally stuck on myself"
Posts: 14017 | Registered: May 2000
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