posted
The only thing I can think of is that perhaps you should put a bit more emphasis on what you specifically (and only you) can add to his courtroom. How would choosing you over the hundreds of other grads benefit him?
Posts: 2409 | Registered: Sep 2003
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quote:My résumé, transcript, and letters of recommendation from Professors Nice Prof1, Nice Prof2, and Nice Prof3 are enclosed. I have also enclosed a memo on the innocent spouse defense to income tax liability as a writing sample.
Perhaps some of this information can go in the last paragraph. Everyone applying will be sending in similar information, so there is no need to start off with a laundry list of your application package. Unless, of course, Prof. Nice Prof is a especially famous professor or a personal friend of the judge, then you would want to mention that name as early as possible.
Your career office should have exit surveys of students who clerked for judges. It would be great if, in your letters, you mention something like: "Mr. Fellow Classmate spoke very highly of his clerking experience. The legal thingy he did while clerking for you sounds like exactly the type of experience I've been looking for."
This shows that you've researched the position and should sets you apart from the other applicants.
posted
I would change the part where you say you HOPE you have the skills to yada-yada-yada..
If you only HOPE you ahve teh skills to assist him why should he consider you? I am serious, I would change it to say that you feel you HAVE the abilities and skills to help, and are looking forward to gaining more of/improving on those skills. Also, more of what you hope to add to hsi office by becoming his intern would be good....
Other than that I liked it a lot...even without changing that part it was good. Posts: 15082 | Registered: Jul 2001
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posted
It sounds great to me except for the next-to-last paragraph. Stuff about your personal motivations is not usually of interest to them. If you include some reason why you especially want to work for them, it should be something about them, about their work or reputation, in other words, because they're so great in some specific way that fits your career goals exactly.
Otherwise, they might feel as though you only really want to work for them because of their location or something. Does that make sense? It just strikes the wrong note.
Posts: 6246 | Registered: Aug 2004
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quote: and hope that I have the opportunity to put my combination of legal research skills and professional experience to work in your courtroom.
To me this sounds fine. Is this what you guys mean? He's not saying he hopes he has the skills, just that he hopes they will give him the opportunity to put them to work for them.
Posts: 6246 | Registered: Aug 2004
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posted
I was worried about that second to last paragraph. One of the suggestions I've heard about clerkships over and over again is that it's very important to let the judge know you are serious about the clerkship - that he's not a safety application and that you would be likely to accept if offered the job. In fact, many clerkship offers are made on the spot at the interview, and sometimes the offers expire when you walk out the door. More often, the offer is still good, but the judge will keep interviewing and possibly making offers until you accept.
They specifically mention establishing a connection to the city if one is not obvious from your resume. Unfortunately, there's almost no chance I can personalize 35 of these to the judge in time.
Any ideas on how to accompish this without getting so personal?
Posts: 26071 | Registered: Oct 2003
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posted
Dag, when do you need the comments back? I'll have Mom look it over and make suggestions, she always advises people that the cover letter is many times more important than the resume.
Unfortunately, she's not feeling well today and is sleeping in, so it may be a few hours before she sees it.
Posts: 14428 | Registered: Aug 2001
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quote:One of my most important assets at Oldcompany was the ability to quickly become productive in new environments. This required the ability to absorb complex information accurately and apply rules of data design to the information.
You use "ability" twice in relatively rapid succession. I would write the second sentence like this:
quote:This required me to accurately absorb complex information and apply rules of data design.
posted
JenniK worked with resume and cover letters professionally for a while, I will ahve her take a look at it as well...she gets home at 5 tonight. Posts: 15082 | Registered: Jul 2001
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quote: and hope that I have the opportunity to put my combination of legal research skills and professional experience to work in your courtroom.
To me this sounds fine. Is this what you guys mean? He's not saying he hopes he has the skills, just that he hopes they will give him the opportunity to put them to work for them.
Yeah...it isn't firm enough for a cover letter, not for a legal position...
I would use a different phrase myself, stating an strong desire to use your skills for him, rather than hoping you can....hope, in this context, seems like you are a little unsure, although within the context of the rest of the letter it isn't horrible.
In a cover letter it is better to come off a little strong rather than a little wishy-washy, particularly for a position as demanding as this one. You have a very limited time to attract their attention, and so in the cover letter there should be strong indication of your confidence and abilities to make a contribution to his office.
Don't give ANY indication that you think he might NOT pick you, I guess.
All of this is IMO, of course... Posts: 15082 | Registered: Jul 2001
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posted
I'm not sure if this has been said, but I think it would be really nice if you included some specific detail on why you chose to apply for the internship with that particular judge. For example, maybe ... "I admired your position in whatever case"? I think it shows that your cover letter is not one that you could send to any judge, and that you did some research on the judge and his views that helped you to make the decision to apply for a position in his office.
When I applied for a summer internship a few months ago, I included a sentence that went something like this ... "I greatly admire (companyname)'s (programname) and I would be honored to carry it on upon joining the firm." Something like that ...
Just a suggestion ...
Posts: 155 | Registered: Apr 2005
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posted
Editing nitpicks: lowercase "summer" and take the periods out of the degrees ("BA" and "JD" instead of "B.A." and "J.D."). Also, I passionately hate "prior to." I'd go with "before."
quote:One of my most important assets at Oldcompany was the ability to quickly become productive in new environments.
This reads to me like meaningless corporate fluff. So you were able to get to work right away? Tell me something more concrete. Tell me what you did.
Move the part about the attached documents to the end, and lose the part about how living in Philadelphia would be so beneficial for you and your wife.
Also, I'd pick a different word than "intensely." It sounds borderline creepy to me.
Otherwise, I think it looks pretty good. Good luck!
Posts: 9945 | Registered: Sep 2002
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posted
Thanks! I'll kill intensely and the Philadelphia part. I like the nits. Attachments are moving to the end. The nits are hard for me to pick up on my own writing, and I like getting outside opinions, especially when they're obviously better like these are.
quote:This reads to me like meaningless corporate fluff. So you were able to get to work right away? Tell me something more concrete. Tell me what you did.
What I was going for was the ability to go to a client's office, learn pretty much everything about them, and get right to work analyzing the system, with none of the normal "ramp-up" time involved with a lot of IT developers.
The sentence which follows provides a pretty direct parallel to what you have to do when dealing with legal cases - learn the facts, figure out what law applies, and apply the law to the facts. The other bit of relevance is that this is a year-long job, and most judges rely heavily on their clerks to run the courtroom. I want to give assurances that I will be up to speed quickly.
So, any ideas on how I can say all that? This was the hardest section for me to write, and I'm having trouble thinking of another way to approach it.
Posts: 26071 | Registered: Oct 2003
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posted
Hmmm, how to make each one feel specially singled out for your approbation, without taking time to find out something specific and personal about them to approve of?
You could always go for the shameless flattery and say something general like "I've heard great things about your office (chambers? whatever the right word is) and I'm really looking forward to the chance to work with you." Then if they ask on an interview what it was you heard, you will have to come up with something. But by then you should have time to prepare. Posts: 6246 | Registered: Aug 2004
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posted
So is every city you are considering one with a good Art History program? Just curious. Perhaps the idea was that if you have a strong connection to the city, mention it. But if you don't, it might be better to leave out a weak connection.
It jumped out at me on first reading as well, and I thought "Well, maybe that's normal..."
Posts: 2010 | Registered: Apr 2003
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quote:So is every city you are considering one with a good Art History program?
Yep. My incredible wife gave me a list of cities with good programs, and I can take a clerkship in any one of them without further consultation (in case it's an exploding offer). Of course, I'll always consult if I have time, and I'm sure I can talk my way into at least a phone call.
Cities:
Charlottesville, Richmond, Raleigh, Washington, Baltimore, Philadelphia-Wilmington, Pittsburg, Columbus, Cleveland, Lawrence, Seattle, Santa Barbara, and Salt Lake City (a special case based on a previous relationship with a judge).
I'm leaning toward leaving it out.
Posts: 26071 | Registered: Oct 2003
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posted
You mean we could have Dag an hour away from us in So Cal? Woot! You'll have to let us know if you end up in Santa Barbara.
Posts: 399 | Registered: Sep 2002
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posted
Of all the long shots, that's the longest, Mama Squirrel. The 9th Circuit gets the fewest UVA grads of any circuit, in general. But if it happens, it won't be kept a secret.
Only 22 people at UVA got one of these clerkships last year. I'm well-positioned, but nothing is certain. Every year someone who "should" get one doesn't.
Posts: 26071 | Registered: Oct 2003
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posted
The term "judicial clerkship" sounds odd to me. Are you being considered for the position of "judicial clerk?" I figure this must be standard jargon, but if not, I think you might consider changing the phrase.
The bit about your prior company is interesting and relevant. I think you go too far in making it sound like a shoestring fly-by-night. If you have to avoid things like how much the company made (or didn't make), then you probably don't want to get too deep here, but saying that you created and ran a SUCCESSFUL company with over XXX clients and $xxx,xxx income would be stronger. If the company didn't quite pan out that impressively, then I'd leave it as is.
quote:The term "judicial clerkship" sounds odd to me. Are you being considered for the position of "judicial clerk?" I figure this must be standard jargon, but if not, I think you might consider changing the phrase.
The usage is correct. It's strange how quickly the oddness goes away after two years of being surrounded by the jargon.
How about this for the company:
quote:Before law school, I worked at Oldcompany, a consulting firm I co-founded with no startup capital the summer after receiving my BA. When I left, we had 25 employees, $2.5 million in annual revenue, and 10 straight years of profitability.
I'm worried about the dollar amount being distracting. Could I leave it out and maintain most of the punch?
Before law school, I co-founded Oldcompany with no startup capital.
I'd take out the BA bit right there. I'd leave the bit in about the profitability, size and revenue. It's frequin' amazing!
Very cool!
And if you end up in Santa Barbara, you can also hang out with the West Coast branch of the Scopatz family. It's God's country out there. That's why it's so expensive.
Posts: 22497 | Registered: Sep 2000
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quote:Before attending law school, I co-founded Oldcompany with no startup capital. When I left, we had 25 employees, $2.5 million in annual revenue, and 10 straight years of profitability.
I'm torn on "attending". Without it, the transition seems to clunk. But it adds nothing for clarity.
Posts: 26071 | Registered: Oct 2003
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quote:I'm worried about the dollar amount being distracting. Could I leave it out and maintain most of the punch?
I think the number shows you were a success and that you can be trusted with tremendous amounts of responsibility.
quote:The 9th Circuit gets the fewest UVA grads of any circuit, in general. But if it happens, it won't be kept a secret.
One of my classmates clerked for Kozinski. If you get a clerkship there, maybe I can track her down and she can give you some pointers about how to maximize your experience there. Posts: 4116 | Registered: Apr 2002
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Bob, that's one way to not have to juggle a lot of interviews. Of course, if I did get hired, I'd have a fun year with the judge.
Posts: 26071 | Registered: Oct 2003
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posted
Today is the first day judges are allowed* to contact clerkship applicants. So far I have 2 interviews in DC (one on the day of the next big protest ) and 2 in Columbus, Ohio (including the one I had to do that stat calculation for).
I also heard that I'm already out of the running for my first choice.
But I really can't complain. Last year only 22 students from my school got this kind of clerkship.
Thanks everyone for all your help with the letter. You helped improve it immensely, and it's done its job now.
Dagonee *Judges are "allowed" to do anything they want, but most wait until today to start contacting. Most circuit judges will contact the person they hire on the first day.
Posts: 26071 | Registered: Oct 2003
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posted
Good luck on the interviews. Shake hands firmly, and be sure that you don't have a long piece of toilet paper trailing off your shoe.
Posts: 10397 | Registered: Jun 2005
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posted
But I doubt the toilet paper from the shoe comments helped. How'd he going to keep a straight face now, as he obsessively checks himself over in the interview for stray bits of toilet paper?
Posts: 8355 | Registered: Apr 2003
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posted
Well, I didn't get a clerkship. Or rather, I did get an offer, but it's for a senior judge and not for a full year, so it's not worth the sacrifice involved.
I was the top non-selected choice for at least two judges (small consolation), and have no idea why I wasn't successful. I do know that about half the available slots at my four judges were filled by people who had already graduated. The theory going around is that judges don't like the new hiring plan that requires waiting until third year for students to apply, and more judges are filling more of their slots that way. This allows them to make selections before they even see the students' applications.
I talked to the clerkship coordinator at school, and we figured I can take advantage of this next year myself. Still, I took it very hard; I was a wreck on Tuesday.
I also found out I was wrong when I figured out my class rank for the one of the judges (in another thread). It seems they actually tell the judges our ranks, and one of them told me mine. I'm not 6th out of 360.
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