posted
With the recent rumors of a Princess Bride Musical in the works, I've been thinking of things that should never in a million years be musicals, but eventually, will be despite the stupidity of doing one.
In this thread, you get a song from a different musical, and parody it using a different story that should not be a musical.
For example, with the Princess Bride musical, I did:
(From 'Tonight' - West Side Story)
Roberts! My true love was slaughtered by Roberts! And suddenly I see How tragic love can be!!! Oh Roberts Your pirates are oh so ruthless I wonder if any are toothless Oh Roberts, Your cruelty reveals your identity!!!!
(From Getting to know you - King and I)
Getting to know you Getting to know what hurts you Getting to break you And hoping you tell the truth Isn't this funny Torturing you is so nifty But if you make. me. pissed I am going to slit her wrists And hope to god I don't go up to FIFTY!!!!
(From 'Think Of Me' - Phantom)
Remember me? You slaughtered my father When I was a boy Remember me? You gave me these marks And took away my joy You son a bitch You killed my dad When you refused to pay the price My name's Inigo... MonTOYa I'm through being nice....
Can it be? Are you Inigo? Brava! You've chased me now For over 20 years So far and yet you've fallen short I must admit, I am so touched And thats my retort!!
So please, tell me the musical that shouldn't be and write a song proving exactly why you can't have a musical about it.
Posts: 9754 | Registered: Jul 2002
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... and I would actually go see a Princess Bride musical, if it got good reviews. I think it's campiness could lend itself to a hysterical muscial, if done by the right talent. (I know, those are big ifs. To my credit--I hope--I wouldn't go see an Ender's game or Firefly one! :-)
Posts: 3149 | Registered: Jul 2005
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a) Evil Dead: The Musical is awesome. You get sprayed with blood and there's an open bar for the whole show. Clearly these people understood the movies.
b) Many things that are made into musicals are bad, but then, if the Tanya Harding and Nancy Kerrigan saga can be made into an opera, well, I guess Anything Goes.
Posts: 3243 | Registered: Apr 2002
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There really are things you'd never think would work as a musical, that really do, take "Once More With Feeling" as an example of that one.
Posts: 5362 | Registered: Apr 2004
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"I'm your father, Luke I'm your nightmare Dad I use to be good, just misunderstood Then I'm in these three movies, so bad" Who's Your Daddy, from the musical Star Wars, The Empire Strikes Back.
"Gore good, Chad bad Bush good, Chad bad. Hanging chad, pregnant chad bad chad bad chad badadadadadad." Chad, from the musical 2000 & Dumb, A Political Oddessey.
"Harriett Meirs, Harriet Meirs Supreme Court dame, Surpreme Judge Fame The congress will appoint her For I, the prez, annoint her She is strong, will do no wrong."
Conservative Republican Chorus: "Harriett Meirs, Harriet Meirs Who is she? Can we see? She's no conservative The unborn, they must live She is wrong. Don't play along"
Democratic Chorus "Harriett Meirs, Harriet Meirs We owe you. Yes we do Republicans are failing, Weeping and disrailing We grow strong, Come sing our song"
Harriet Meirs song from the new musical, "The Real Supremes"
Posts: 11895 | Registered: Apr 2002
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How to tell that you like ballet too much, from the author of the ballet linked above:
quote: I have always been a fan of Guy Noir and his adventures. I could not listen to an episode on the radio without seeing it in my mind's eye as a ballet.
We would blame the big, grey firm, And this, my friends - I can confirm! We'd like to see the mystery Of a Micro$oft computer - that works.
And Mr Gates - yeah, he awaits F'the big black day where we'll bestow him doom, And from that day, we would all dance and play And in the world we would not have more doom.
We would be so happy, you and me, No more Evil seeing what we do! I'd like to see the company Of Micro$oft destroyed when I'm by you; Of Micro$oft destroyed when I'm by you; Of Micro$oft destroyed when I'm by you.
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I am the very son of god Fortold to save the world from sin I am a brother to mankind Open your heart and let me in I can make the blind men see The lame to walk and raise the dead I walk upon the stormy waves And multiply the fish and bread
I'm very well aquanted too With Matthew, Mark and Luke and John Though one of them denied me thrice Just Right before the light of dawn We had ourselves a sacrament I broke the bread and poured the wine And Judas then betrayed my life Though I told Peter all was fine.
He is the very son of god Fortold to save the world from sin! He is the very son of god Fortold to save the world from sin! He is the very son of god Fortold to save the world from sin!
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He is the very model of a modern major diety He knows those things of mystery, philosphy and piety Of the Kings of David he's descended by about ten fold And all the prophisies about him we have watched as they unfold
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Her names Katrina She is a Mean un She blew Gulfport away And Orleans just couldn't stay O she's Katrina Yes quite a mean one. When she comes to town Stay away from old man Brown
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quote:Hey diddlely dee, My hemoroids and me. they're red and angry and hurt so much Not fun to see, and please don't touch Hey diddlely dee My hemoroids and me.
Burning For You from the musical Anatomically Incorrect
Posts: 11895 | Registered: Apr 2002
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I'm not sure if this counts, but for fun I've been making a Crocodile Hunter musical. Very sketchy and the only lyrics I have 'for sure' is one little verse.
"Greetings I am Steve Irwin, I'll take you on a journey where I know there'll be lots of crocodile!"
Um... yeah, I'll possibly post more of the lyrics as it's worked on?
Posts: 1831 | Registered: Jan 2003
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Anyone heard the parody "Star Wars Cantina"? It's to the tune of "Copacabana", and the guy singing it actually sounds like Barry Manilow.
Her name was Leia She was a princess With a danish on each ear And Darth Vader drawing near.
So Artoo Detoo Found Ben Kenobi He'd have to put the Death Star plans Into the Rebellion's hands
So Luke and Obi-Wan Had to get to Alderaan So they stopped into Mos Eisley To have a drink with Han...
chorus: At the Star Wars, Star Wars Cantina The weirdest creatures you've ever seen-a! Here, at the Star Wars, Star Wars Cantina Music, and blasters, and old Jedi Masters, at the Star Wars!...
His name was Solo He was a pilot With a blaster at his side And a smile twelve parsecs wide
There with Chewbacca He was a Wookiee They met with Luke and Obi-Wan About the Millenium Falcon
Docking Bay Ninety-four Stormtroopers at the door With a flash of Ben's lightsaber Now there's an arm on the floor...
chorus: At the Star Wars, Star Wars Cantina The weirdest creatures you've ever seen-a! Here, at the Star Wars, Star Wars Cantina Music, and blasters, and old Jedi Masters, at the Star Wars!...
His name was Yoda He was a muppet Darth Vader was so bad And by the way he's Luke's dad
Luke kissed his sister His hand got cut off In that galaxy far, far away Luke has had a lousy day
Boba Fett was so mean Jabba had bad hygiene Why didn't they all just relax Back on Tatooine...
chorus: At the Star Wars, Star Wars Cantina The weirdest creatures you've ever seen-a! Here, at the Star Wars, Star Wars Cantina Music, and blasters, and old Jedi Masters, at the Star Wars!...
Posts: 12266 | Registered: Jul 2005
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Wowm that Cantina Barry Manilow sounded freakily like the real Barry Manilow. I got chills.
Alright, to the tune of "Do You Hear the People Sing"
Two by two, and hands of blue, Have you heard what they can do? They have those little stick things, and they really want the Tams! When they come knocking at your door, you'd best run or hit the floor, or else you'll soon be dead when tomorrow comes!
Posts: 21898 | Registered: Nov 2004
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I was thinking like take a classic, a real old classic, maybe Shakespeare. Yeah Shakespear. But make it a tragedy, you know, something sad. Romeo and Juliette comes to mind. But we update it, yeah. We set it in, I don't know, 50's New York. Turn the feuding families into gangs. Yeah, gang fights would be impossible in a musical. We could call it, um, West Side Story....
um...
never mind. It would never work.
Posts: 11895 | Registered: Apr 2002
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"Oh I am the Spleen I am not to mean But nobody cares what I do till I'm gone Oh I'm the spleen And I have seen That in this show I get one song." Spleen from the musical Playing Internal Organs
"Come lads and come lasses, put on safety glasses Its Organic Chemistry Time! With vigor and voom We can light up this room Its Organic Chemistry Time!
Its the stuff of life Yes even your wife Its Organic Chemistry Time With Carbon and O2 The odd formula's show you Its Organic Chemistry Time"
Its Time from the musical "Organic Chemistry 302"
"In old Nigeria Corruption breeds Hysteria I find myself with ten mill in cash
If you give me you bank account I'll let you keep a huge amount If I can wire it there just to stash.
(Chorus) Oh just to stash Oh just to stash And you can sleep knowing you'll keep oh so much cash."
The Nigerian Song from Spam
And the least likely musical to be made is....
"Its time to build the timer The Timer? The Timeer Its time to build the timer on the bomb
For Suicide's comendable Transcendable For Expendables And you now know to much to die that way"
The Timer Tune from How To Build Your Terrorist Atomic Bomb.
Posts: 11895 | Registered: Apr 2002
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I don't know how to love him I don't know why he moves me He's a man He's just a man And I've had so many men before In very many ways He's just one more
Had someone told me that JC Superstar and Godspell would have been popular, let alone major hits, I would have laughed. Go figure...
I'm working on a rock opera about the Maccabees. Maybe. So far, all I've been able to do is rewrite "Hanukkah O Hanukkah" to make it less sappy.
Posts: 12266 | Registered: Jul 2005
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Picard: "I am the mighty model of a starfleet captain with no hair. I say engage and point and stare and then we fly to who knows where. Of all the starring captains I'm the only one who's not a yank. The truth be told, we're all controlled by that ugly fish in my wall tank." Chorus: "Truth be told we're all controlled by that ugly fish in his wall tank."
Picard's Song from the musical Star Trek--The Musical Thing Worked For Buffy So Lets Try It Instead of a Bad Movie
Oh wait... that's already been done... gosh darnit- they always steal my ideas before I have them.
Seriously though- you know what'd make a good musical- The Fox and the Hound. One song could even go like:
When you're the best of Friends, Having so much fun together, You're not even aware You're such a funny pair
Posts: 980 | Registered: Aug 2005
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Sung by Mal to the tune of "Johanna" from Sweeney Todd by Stephen Sondheim:
I feel you Inara. I feel you. Off you go into your shuttle, Even now I'm in the doorway I am manly and impulsive, and you sit there brushing Kaylee's hair....
I'll steal you Inara. I'll steal you. You can pick and choose your clients Rich men from the central planets, I cannot afford your prices, I would die for you and you don't care...
I feel you Inara. I feel you! I would sword fight for your honor, smuggle cargo loads of cattle. Your eyes slay me, I'm a goner! How I love your shiny raven haaaaair....
(Man, this is fun. I'll just have to do the whole musical!)
Posts: 6415 | Registered: Jul 2000
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Hmm. The Trojan War already got made into a bad movie; perhaps it could make a bad musical as well?
To Guns and Roses "Paradise City"
Drag the horse right into our city 'Cuz it stands so tall and it looks so pretty Why don't we just take it home? Drag the horse right into our city Couldn't be a trap, Greeks just aren't that witty Why don't we just take it home?
Paris stole a wife for his bride-to-be Maybe not the best diplomacy You see the hubby was a king, and he didn't see Their loving in a light so kind- Did he think him blind? Paris must be out of his mind!
Soon as they got home, Trojans got the tips That the Greeks were shoving off with a thousand ships, Shore up walls for war at an urgent clip Troy is gonna be just fine 'Til Achilles breaks through the line...
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That's fantastic.
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I'm glad some folks know the tune, it's rather obscure.
