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One of my friends gave a speech last year that was against drugs. It was very strongly worded and very opiniontated. And she threw all of her emtion into it. She truly cared about the topic. But then why is she contradiciting herself?
She, apparently, has been meddling with drugs and alchohol. I thought she knew better than this, but I thought something might have been up because she has been hanging out with the wrong kind of crowd.
We are really good friends, and we have been for a long time. But I'm afraid to attempt to intervene. It might drive her over the edge. She, apparently, cried and became depressed when I mutual friend of ours confronted her on the matter.
I just don't know what to do. Is there anything I can do? I really care about her, and I don't want anything bad to happen to her. But isn't it really her decision? There really is not much I could say to change her mind, if this is who she has decided to be, is there?
I'm really really worried. And I'm afraid that something might happen to her. But I'm also afraid that by attempting to prevent something from happening, something will happen.
What can I do? What should I do?
Posts: 6026 | Registered: Dec 2004
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posted
I am having real difficulty responding to this without being sarcastic, so I'll just tell you that I hope everything works out o.k. Posts: 13123 | Registered: Feb 2002
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Steve, I am going to go out on a limb and post a non-sarcastic response. You have every right and, dare I say, an obligation even to say something to your friend. Work it in a way that shows your support of her in getting help for her problems (not just drug problems but that should certainly be part of it) rather than being confrontational (which may have been your mutual friend's problem). You might drive her away as you said but you also might help her. As it is now, if you say nothing, she will be driving herself away by this behavior. Being afraid to say anything is OK; it is a scary situation. But I would even tell her that; that you stuggled with a way to tell her about your concern without having her pull away from you. You certainly can't change her mind, but you can show her that you care and that might give her the strength to change herself.
Posts: 1319 | Registered: Jul 2005
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Steve, become educated. Learn how to approach someone who is having a problem like this one. Learn how to talk with them about your concerns. Learn what not to do and how not to become a casualty of this problem.
Posts: 30 | Registered: Sep 2005
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Don't assume she's being hypocritical by using drugs after showing how opposed she is to them. It's possible to have high ideals and not be able to live up to them.
But, since you know that she's against drug use, you have the advantage of knowing that she almost certainly *wants* to be helped. Perhpas a "confrontation" is the wrong step to take...I know those can take a lot of different forms, but it's there in the word-- a confrontation can feel a lot like an attack. It's a very difficult situation. Having been an "intervenee" a couple of times, my only advice is to make sure that she knows that your reason for talking to her is that you're concerned for her. Don't threaten anything (like reporting her behavior or forcing her to stop), because that makes it seem like you're not willing to listen to her. If you're *not* willing to listen to her, don't bring it up because (to me at least) that feels like instead of helping her, you just want to make yourself feel less guilty or that you just don't want to have to think about the problem.
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