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Anna has been battling lymphoma for a couple of years now… she was diagnosed the week after her son and my daughter were married. She’s taken it all in good humor. The painful treatments, having to travel to another state for further treatments, losing her hair… she was in a clean room all summer – I don’t know the details, but I’m pretty sure she had a stem-cell transplant, or something like that. When she finally got home from that hospital stay, our children gave her the good news that they were having a baby. In early October, she was pronounced free of the cancer. We were all so happy! She and her husband planned a special trip and a party and all manner of celebrations, as soon as her hair grew back and she put on a little bit of weight.
A couple of weeks later, her doctor ran “just one more test”… and their world fell apart. The original tumor was gone, but they found three more… all inoperable. They gave her 6 months to a year to live. She even took that with good spirits. “At least I’ll be able to see my new grandbaby this spring.”
Well, unfortunately, the doctors were wrong again. The chemo and radiation therapies just haven’t worked. She’s steadily gotten worse and worse. Earlier this week she collapsed, and is now at home, with a hospice nurse coming daily. She’s on a morphine drip, and is in and out of consciousness. It’s all but certain that she won’t live to see our grandson, and she might not even live to see the New Year. She’s only 46 years old.
I’m watching all of this as something of an outsider. Although I’ve known the family ever since our kids started dating about 7-8 years ago, we’ve been friendly, but not especially close. I live thousands of miles away (but they did come here to Hawaii last month, while she was still able to travel). I feel so helpless. I think I should send flowers – I should cook something - of course, there’s nothing I can do, so I try my best to comfort my son-in-law and daughter, and pray for her husband and her younger son (he’s only 13). It may seem irrational, but I hope she lives at least a few more weeks, if for no other reason than that her sons won’t always remember Christmas as “the time that mom died.”
I don’t really have any point to any of this. I’m just trying to make sense of a senseless thing. I understand as well as anyone the “meaning of life”… I believe in God, and that He watches over us and loves us. I know that he also allows “bad things” to happen to us. I often wish I had His perspective…and His timing.
Sorry to be a downer. I’m doing my best to be cheerful and spirited for my children. I hope you all have a wonderful holiday season… Try to stay warm.
posted
Wow, that is so hard. I'm so sorry. I'm with you on hoping her life is prolonged past the holidays.
Posts: 3149 | Registered: Jul 2005
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posted
I went through that with my garndma, and it is never easy. I hope she is as comfortable as is possible under these circumstances, and you and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.
Posts: 15082 | Registered: Jul 2001
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posted
oh maui babe. What a hard thing to deal with. A friend of mine died two weeks ago from lung cancer. Her kids are 17 and 14. She was only 43. It really sucks. I hope your family doesn't have to experience a loss before/during the holidays. (((Hugs)))
Posts: 1132 | Registered: A Long Time Ago!
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Maui babe, it's life, and it is a downer. It sucks. You don't need to apologize for that. I can understand wanting to remain as cheerful as you can for others who need it, so please, don't feel bad about venting here. It's what we're here for.
I'm so sorry this is happening, I'll keep you, Anna, and her loved ones in my thoughts and prayers.
Posts: 8355 | Registered: Apr 2003
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I don't know what to say. I'm so sorry you're going through this.
