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Author
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Topic: Bumper sticker funnies
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Stan the man
Member
Member # 6249
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posted
These are pretty old, but I still like em (most anyway).
"Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine."
"I love cats...they taste just like chicken"
"Out of my mind. Back in five minutes."
"Cover me. I'm changing lanes."
"As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools"
"Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot."
"Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her sleep"
"I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather.......Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car."
"The gene pool could use a little chlorine."
"I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian."
"Your kid may be an honor student but you're still an IDIOT!"
"It's as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you."
"When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS."
"Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips."
"Wink, I'll do the rest!"
"I took an IQ test and the results were negative."
"When there's a will, I want to be in it!"
"Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?"
"It's lonely at the top, but you eat better."
"Reality? That's where the pizza delivery guy comes from!"
"Forget about World Peace.....Visualize Using Your Turn Signal ! "
"Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear."
"We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse."
"Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot."
"He who laughs last thinks slowest"
"Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else."
"Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."
"Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy."
"Consciousness: that annoying time between naps."
"We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated."
"Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home."
"3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't."
"Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?"
"Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?"
"I like you, but I wouldn't want to see you working with subatomic particles."
"Jesus is coming, everyone look busy."
"A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory."
"Horn broken, watch for finger."
"My kid had sex with your honor student."
"If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished."
"Help wanted telepath: you know where to apply"
"I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got."
"Jesus loves you... everyone else thinks you're an <bleep>."
"I'm just driving this way to piss you off."
"Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs."
"Keep honking, I'm reloading."
"Hang up and drive."
"Guns don't kill people, postal workers do."
"Ask me about micro waving cats for fun and profit."
"I said "no" to drugs, but they just wouldn't listen."
"Friends don't let Friends drive Naked."
"If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?"
"Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math."
"Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies."
"Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... till you can find a rock."
"Sex on television can't hurt you... unless you fall off"
Posts: 2208 | Registered: Feb 2004
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Evie3217
Member
Member # 5426
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posted
"I may be slow, but I'm in front of you"
Posts: 1789 | Registered: Jul 2003
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Chris Kidd
Member
Member # 2646
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posted
This is one my step dad had.
"I'm not racist I hate everybody."
Posts: 513 | Registered: Oct 2001
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