posted
One of my friends has another bun in the oven, her second, and when she told me, the excitement welled up in me and ended with me crying. I couldn't figure out why I was so excited, my friends get pregnant all of the time, and then I realize, I was excited because this baby is in capable hands.
I realize all of the pregnancies that brush against my real life have asterisks next them. In my mind, and usually in theirs, the parents are too poor, uncommitted, young, or stupid to competently raise children. I have high standards for parents, and maybe it's because I know so many criminals, and I know that criminals have parents too. It's not often that a pregnancy is unmitigated good news. I think this is one of the reasons I haven't been directly involved with any pregnancies. Wealthy, stable families can absorb even unplanned infants, but I guess that for the last few years, but people I know who have been getting pregnant aren't blessed with those circumstances.
I mean, before this good news baby, the last couple who told me that they were expecting are two heroin addicts, with the mother trying to convince me that it's okay for her to smoke a few cigarettes a day. I smiled and told her that maybe it wasn't a good idea, and I joked with the father about which books he was going to read to his kid, but really, I went home hoping that she loses the baby somehow. And before that, I had a brush with a baby who was the mother's effort to trap the father, and now the entire situation is a muddle. In my life, it's never the case that two charming and able people walk up to me and say, "Irami, we are expecting a baby," and it is good news. I know that a lot of people on this forum consider pregnancy unequivocally good, but I'm not one of them. I mean, the best parents I know right now are a lesbian couple who had to go to China and adopt a child. They are awesome, and as a result, the child is awesome.
Anyway, my buddy's pregnant, and for once, it is purely good news.
quote: I went home hoping that she loses the baby somehow
Irami, I do understand what you are geting at, I really do, you aren't the only person who knows people who are not really good parents...
But this statment was horrible.
That being said, I am glad for your friends, and for you for knowing them. I hope your opinion of them remains correct. Posts: 15082 | Registered: Jul 2001
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posted
I'm afraid I'd probably have the same reaction if I knew any pregnant heroin addicts who didn't show signs of changing their lives. Not because I'd wish them or the baby ill. Quite the contrary.
I guess I lead a super-sheltered life--most of the pregnancies I know about are the "good news" kind. Irami, best of wishes to your buddy and her baby!
Posts: 3149 | Registered: Jul 2005
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posted
oh wow -- people put so much hope in new life -- so much expectation -- perhaps that's why the baby Jesus story keeps resonating so strongly with so many -- I was a jaded adult before I figured out that adult Christianity was about the crucifixion/resurrection . . . As a wee one, it was all about the joy and wonder in a new, special life joining us here on earth . . .
*sigh*
Irami -- it is hard, indeed, to watch people bring children into the world who may not be prepared or capable.
I guess that is where the "caring community" or the "village" as it were comes into play, and really takes steps to help ensure a successful (i.e., happy, healthy, safe) family . . .
No one does this job alone -- as I have good reason to know.
Posts: 5609 | Registered: Jan 2003
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