posted
"The problem with defending the purity of the English language is that English is about as pure as a cribhouse whore. We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary."
posted
"God once picked up this country by the eastern states, shook it, and all the loose nuts rolled down into California" ~Mark Twain
Posts: 11895 | Registered: Apr 2002
| IP: Logged |
posted
"I will live in the Past, the Present and the Future." - Scrooge (Charles Dickens)
I always liked the concept of balance between the past, the present and the future in a person's life.
Posts: 8473 | Registered: Apr 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
"Never raise a hand to your kids... it leaves your groin unprotected." - Red Buttons
"I once spent two weeks on this planet where the principle form of entertainment was geese juggling. Hand of god. Little baby goslings they were juggled!"
"Some people juggle geese!" - Wash
"Reality must take precedence over public relations, for nature cannot be fooled. " - Richard P Feynman
"There is a computer disease that anybody who works with computers knows about. It's a very serious disease and it interferes completely with the work. The trouble with computers is that you 'play' with them!" - Richard P Feynman
Posts: 3295 | Registered: Jun 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
Picture a man and a woman getting out of a pickup in a Wal-Mart parking lot. The woman gets the baby in carseat out and they shut the doors. As they start walking to the store, she says to the man:
"But, since you got a tattoo, I gotta get something for me."
posted
Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch to be sure.
"Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.' " -Charlie Brown
This is the worst part; the calm before the battle.
And then the battle is not so bad?
Oh, right. I forgot about the battle.
-Futurama
"Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar." -Drew Carey
Posts: 959 | Registered: Oct 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
"So, if we go down there, it blows. If we don't it blows anyway, just a little later. It's a good thing I'm Russian, we're used to hopeless situations."
-- Ivanova in "A Voice in the Wilderness" Babylon 5
"I'll say a prayer for him." "He's agnostic." "Then I'll say half a prayer."
-- Ivanova and Franklin in "Points of Departure" B5
posted
"How long have you been working at that office ?" "Ever since they threatened to fire me."
"I've drank to your health in public. I've drank to your health alone. I've drank to your health so many times, I've damn near ruined my own!" -- Adm. William Halsey
Posts: 2208 | Registered: Feb 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
"When I look down I just miss all the good stuff. When I look up I just trip over things." -Ani DiFranco
Posts: 511 | Registered: Mar 2006
| IP: Logged |
posted
"Good has two meanings: it means both that which is good absolutely and that which is good for somebody." - Aristotle
Posts: 993 | Registered: Jul 2006
| IP: Logged |
posted
"When fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying the cross." - Sinclair Lewis
Posts: 6316 | Registered: Jun 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
'Truth, good Brutha, is like the light. Do you know about the light?'
'It...comes from the sun. And the moon and the stars. And candles. And lamps.'
'And so on,' said Vorbis, nodding. 'Of course. But there is another kind of light. A light that fills even the darkest of places. This has to be. For if this meta-light did not exist, how could darkness be seen?'
Brutha said nothing, this sounded too much like philosophy.
'And so it is with truth,' said Vorbis. 'There are some things which appear to be the truth, which have all the hallmarks of truth, but which are not the real truth. The real truth must sometimes be protected by a labyrinth of lies.'
He turned to Brutha. 'Do you understand me?'
'No, Lord Vorbis.'
'I mean, that which appears to our senses is not the fundamental truth. Things that are seen and heard and done by the flesh are mere shadows of a deeper reality....'
Posts: 13123 | Registered: Feb 2002
| IP: Logged |
posted
"I believe in taking a positive attitude toward the world, toward people, and toward my work. I think I'm here for a purpose. I think it's likely that we all are, but I'm only sure about myself. I try to tune myself in to whatever it is that I'm supposed to be, and I try to think of myself as a part of all of us - all mankind and all life. I find it's not easy to keep these lofty thoughts in mind as the day goes by, but it certainly helps me a great deal to start out this way." - Jim Henson
Posts: 1681 | Registered: Jun 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
"I was put here on Earth to do a certian number of things... its my Mom who keeps adding more" -Jeesh's brother
"You're supposed to be a detective on steriods!" -the same brother
"Just because you see flames doesn't mean there's a fire" -the same brother
This one was during a mock gun fight, using our hands for guns: "Stop cheating! This is real life!" -Jeesh
Posts: 1164 | Registered: Feb 2006
| IP: Logged |
posted
(Council of Blood in comparison to Vietnam) APEuro Teacher: It’s not like the Netherlands is a jungle and they run around with napalm. Girl behind me (to another girl): See? I told you.
Posts: 879 | Registered: Apr 2005
| IP: Logged |
"If I was a Ruffle, I would eat myself" -my co-worker
"I have come to a determination that they have changed the a toilet paper." -my manager
And then one that is sad, but almost true:
"The only houses you will find in California for less than a million dollars are the ones that are on fire...those usually go for $600,000." -Unknown
Posts: 137 | Registered: May 2005
| IP: Logged |