Popular Culture, or large chunks of it, seem to have the dynamics of these two past-times, backwards.
I don't mean the actual physical procedures.
I mean the dynamics of a fight vs the dynamics of love.
Mr. Card, however, seemed to have a more realistic approach to the subject.
Fights, for example, seems to be more about two men comparing the size of their manhood then about achieving any goal through violence. The battle starts off with a long slow build up, each step showing more and more finesse, more power, more manliness until in one climactic moment, almost mutually, the hero makes one last desparate stab, jab, thrust, etc. He gasps and every fiber of his body is used to reach that ultimate moment, while the recipient of that violence convulses in spasms of deathly agony.
If some one were to threaten me, I'd follow Ender's advice and get the fight over with quickly. I would give no breaks, no rests, no quarter and no chance for the violent other to demonstrate the size of their manliness.
Of course that quick surgical strike, that wham, bam, thank you ma'am attitude, that quick assault and no chance for a change of tactic or change of heart, is how the truly macho and masculine portray sex.
Remember the sword fight in Princess Bride. Their is a lot of talent displayed, gymnastics, skill and energy until one says, "I am not left handed." Renewed vigor, more gymnastics, mutual appreciation and an even bigger build up followed by, "Why are you smiling? I am not left handed either."
In the fight, that got a laugh.
In bed that would be -- unbelievable.
So here is a list of things that have been too often betrayed in the wrong category of Sex vs Violence. I can picture, for each of these, a scene from a movie, tv show, comic book, video game or other pop-culture exhibition where the pop-culture has it backwards.
1)To prove your manlines--Sex. 2) To get what you want--Violence 3) To compare yourself to another man--Sex. (not with the other man, per se, but make more women happy with your performance) 4) Impress them with large firearms--Violence 5) Spend hours dressing appropriate for the occasion--Sex 6) Improve with lots and lots of practice, most likely with strangers, so that the act has no meaning or commitment--Violence. 7) Is better if you know the name of the one you are facing--Sex 8) Is better if they scream out someone elses name--violence. 9) Nudity, Lace, mini-skirts, spandex--sex 10) Boxing Gloves, razor blades, combat boots--violence. 11) Leather--both. 12) Candles--Sex 13) Audience--Violence 14) Audience participation--Neither. 15) Cuddling afterwords--Sex 16) Sneak rear attack--Violence
I don't know exactly where I was going with this rant. I'm sure I'll fill it out more later.
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