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Author Topic: This guy is evil.
Blayne Bradley
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evil


quote:


GM Call Description: Player Suggestion- Make vampires a playable race

First off, the GM call command is not a suggestion box.

If your call does not include a serious violation of the ToS or getting stuck behind a table or something, you do not need to make a GM call.

You need a sharp blow to the head.

Second, this is not a suggestion.

This is a justification for murder.

Not that I've ever needed a justification.

But today, today someone was going to pay.

[GM]Dave>> Hail, Adventurer.
[GM]Dave>> Did Blockbuster run out of copies of Underworld?
Player>> No.
Player>> I own that movie anyway.
[GM]Dave>> Of course you do.
Player>> I wanted to make a suggestion.
Player>> We should be able to play as vampires.
[GM]Dave>> Let's try a little experiment, shall we?
[GM]Dave>> Open your menu.
Player>> Okay... Done.
[GM]Dave>> Scroll down to Help Desk.
Player>> Okay.
[GM]Dave>> Now, navigate to the GM call screen.
Player>> ... I'm there.
[GM]Dave>> Are you looking at the GM call screen?
Player>> Yeah.
Player>> I'm looking at it right now.
[GM]Dave>> That's good.
[GM]Dave>> Now, find the part where it says suggestions.
Player>> ...
Player>> ... Uhh...
Player>> I can't find it.
[GM]Dave>> That's weird.
[GM]Dave>> Neither can I.
Player>> It's not there.
[GM]Dave>> Huh...
[GM]Dave>> And what would that lead you to believe?
Player>> That you shouldn't send a GM call for a suggestion.
[GM]Dave>> There we go.
Player>> Unless it's important.
[GM]Dave>> OH!
[GM]Dave>> So close.
[GM]Dave>> Anyway, let's move on to your "suggestion".
Player>> Vampire should be a playable race.
Player>> It would make the game much better.
[GM]Dave>> I must assume english is not your first language.
[GM]Dave>> You confused the word better with the word dumber.
Player>> But vampires are so cool.
[GM]Dave>> So are strippers.
[GM]Dave>> But I doubt we'll make them a playable race, either.
[GM]Dave>> Hold on a second...
[GM]Dave>> I need to write that down somewhere.
Player>> It would add new dimensions to the game.
[GM]Dave>> I know, I know.
[GM]Dave>> But we'd have to add dollar bills as items.
Player>> Vampires.
Player>> Not strippers.
[GM]Dave>> I'm sorry.
[GM]Dave>> I was busy not listening to you.
Player>> You should take this seriously.
[GM]Dave>> I'm really trying.
[GM]Dave>> It's difficult.
Player>> This is a good idea.
[GM]Dave>> Maybe you should work on the idea some more.
[GM]Dave>> Then you could submit it as a formal proposal.
Player>> I don't really have time to work it out.
Player>> Between work and playing, I don't have much time.
[GM]Dave>> Well... I've got good news and bad news.
Player>> What's the good news?
[GM]Dave>> I think you may have some more free time soon.
Player>> Oh.
Player>> And the bad news?
[GM]Dave>> Do you like dragons?



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MightyCow
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Strippers as a playable race would be cool.
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FlyingCow
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:snort:

That was great.

"I think you're going to have some more free time soon"

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erosomniac
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That entire blog is awesome.
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Blayne Bradley
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are GM's legally allowed to break the company end of the contract by banning people for random reasons?

If a player pays 12$ a month to play FF11 and creates a character whose name is "BlackRaven" and a GM think its retarded and bans him.

is that allowed legally? isnt it theft? where Dag.

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Storm Saxon
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That guy is my hero or something.
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El JT de Spang
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quote:
are GM's legally allowed to break the company end of the contract by banning people for random reasons?

If a player pays 12$ a month to play FF11 and creates a character whose name is "BlackRaven" and a GM think its retarded and bans him.

Chances are there's something in the ToS that states that anyone can be banned at the discretion of the GM.
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James Tiberius Kirk
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Wow.

That link is hilarious.

--j_k, who is still laughing

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Blayne Bradley
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I understand that what he does is funny and in more cases then not the people he tortures deserves it but at random cancelling someone's account on a whim because his name was stupid or the person being stupid in general to me sounds like theft, its breaking the contract AFAIK. I only played FF11 for a month, i had a free trial and lacked the money to get into it but if GMs have the unlimited power to ban people based on a whim and people who did not break the ToS/EULA to me sounds fishy.

I've yet to encounter this problem in Eve/WoW and I hope never will.

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El JT de Spang
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There's also a chance that the people who get banned get their money back.

*shrug*

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Blayne Bradley
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its not the GM's job to police peoples maturity levels, they're job is to enforce the ToS and to help people who get stuck with some part of the game thats not working as designed.
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mr_porteiro_head
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quote:
they're job is to enforce the ToS
They truly are.

(I couldn't help myself. I'm so ashamed.)

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MrSquicky
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My Gosh Blayne. You really, really need to stop being 14 sometime.
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Blayne Bradley
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I'm not being 14, I am a concerned customer of a similar game who finds great motive of concern over what I and any reasonable person would and should consider an amoral, unfair, and what I think is an illegal breach of contract.

If I am playing WoW, currently I have a dwarf named Bradenski, I consider its he rusofied version of "Bradley" and its easily recognizable by my friends as being me.

What happens if I find a GM who doesn't like my name and bans me? What do I do? I could call nd complain, either I get my account back but risk a repeat performance, get my money back but then again I then have a 60$ game that doesnt work without paying per month. Do I sue and hpe the GM whose abusing his powers gets fired?

This has nothing to do with my age (19), or my maturity, it is me a gamer concerned about the possile adverse actions of angst GM's.

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FlyingCow
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I wish I could get into Penny Arcade from work... there's a great comic along these lines wondering what would happen if Gabe were a GM.

Gabe GM: Those are nice boots.
Player: Thanks!
Gabe GM: Give them to me.
Player: What? No way, man.
Gabe GM: Okay. You're banned for a year.
Player: What? No! Here, take the boots!
Gabe GM: I don't even want them now.

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King of Men
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Well, I can see this is a serious problem. I suggest you call up The Onion and get them to do a report on it.
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FlyingCow
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Actually, Brad, on an RP server, a GM could very easily change your name to be more in line with the "fantasy setting".

I knew a few people on RP servers who had their names changed after they were reported by others in the game who felt it broke the RP environment. For instance, "GnomesRool" might be changed to "Bilfin" or "IMACOW" might be turned into "Broken Hoof".

But then, the ToS states that RP servers have certain naming parameters for WoW.

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mr_porteiro_head
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quote:
Originally posted by FlyingCow:
I wish I could get into Penny Arcade from work... there's a great comic along these lines wondering what would happen if Gabe were a GM.

Gabe GM: Those are nice boots.
Player: Thanks!
Gabe GM: Give them to me.
Player: What? No way, man.
Gabe GM: Okay. You're banned for a year.
Player: What? No! Here, take the boots!
Gabe GM: I don't even want them now.

Perfect!
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Blayne Bradley
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Nah GM-Dave didnt mention if the server was an rp server or not, if it was then I could understand but banning!? Renaming maybe but banning and feeding you to a Dragon?
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Dan_raven
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When I played, it was far more likely to cause a problem if the names were too closely related to copywritten names--Aragon, Spydermann, da Hulk, etc.

And name changes were done first, but if the same person returned again and again with new characters stealing variations of copywritten names, they were banned, in self defence.

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dkw
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Not to spoil the fun, but Blayne, have you considered that he may be exagerating for comic effect?
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Fusiachi
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As a former GM of a commercial MMO, I can say that GMs can usually ban at their discretion. It's usually a last resort, but the loss of a single customer is a drop in the bucket. The EULAs tend to be pretty broad in scope. Unused paid time may or may not be refunded.

I haven't read that blog, but based on your post, I'd wager that these are fictional instances (inspired by real events, perhaps...).

Edit: dkw beat me to it.

Second edit: Though, if it is a RP server, his "actions" aren't -that- absurd.

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Storm Saxon
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He talks about banning his mom, so....
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Blayne Bradley
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Its possible, but its something i'm still concerned about in general.
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mr_porteiro_head
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quote:
Originally posted by dkw:
Not to spoil the fun, but Blayne, have you considered that he may be exagerating for comic effect?

It's been a long time since I've thought of the Bastard Operator From Hell.
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Fusiachi
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His blog posts are not typical of MMO GMs--at least none that would have a job for very long. It's pretty safe to say that he's exaggerating quite a bit. Cause it's funny, you know? Like the BOFH (who is routinely featured on theregister.co.uk nowadays).

And Blayne, with regards to a GM having issues with your name... In that situation, you would almost assuredly be given the opportunity to select a new name before any other action would be taken.

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T_Smith
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I've laughed pretty hard at this blog. I'm pretty sure he takes real examples and twists the end of them to suite a "what I wanted to say was.." approach.
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Icarus
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LMAO! Seriously! It's gone!
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Fusiachi
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quote:
Originally posted by T_Smith:
I've laughed pretty hard at this blog. I'm pretty sure he takes real examples and twists the end of them to suite a "what I wanted to say was.." approach.

Yeah, it's some pretty good stuff. His "responses" are clever, and for the most part hilarious. GMing can be very stressful/aggravating sometimes--I feel like I know exactly what he's talking about.
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mr_porteiro_head
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Oh my goodness. That's one of the funniest things I've read in a long time. I might have a new evil hero.
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Launchywiggin
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hilarious.
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mr_porteiro_head
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It almost makes me want to play a MMORPG just so I can get banned by him.
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Strider
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this guy reminds me of Acts of Gord.
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pH
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quote:
Amanda>> How could you do this to me?
Amanda>> I would have died for you.
Dave>> Could you die for me now?
Dave>> That would be super.

[ROFL]

I'm remembering that one the next time some broken-hearted barnacle decides to stalk me.

-pH

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RunningBear
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pH, does that happen often?
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Wowbagger the Infinitely Prolonged
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I really needed that laugh, thanks blayne.
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Ecthalion
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Hes making this up for comic relief. Mainly because a great portion of MMO players are pretty stupid and are always looking for cheat software. No, Gm's in FFXI cannot ban you at will unless they are witnessing you break the TOS, such as MPKing a person or using a hack, and half the time you can go ahead and bot and nobody does anything about it. Many times whenever a person has had a GM called on them the GM's then observe them and if they have enough evidence they will be banned.

As to changing names, somone must report your name offensive, then the GM determines whether it might be and then asks you to change it, you dont get banned or erased for having an offensive name.

And also GMs in FFXI cant take gear since they are no longer allowed to be visible, and you arent allowed to trade anything to them. That and they can only wear the GM armor.

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mr_porteiro_head
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quote:
Hes making this up for comic relief.
Who am I supposed to believe?

His posts were much funnier, so he wins.

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