posted
I found these on my computer, they are a compilation of a thread from a few years ago, so I give appropriate credit to everyone who wrote one, though I didn't record your names.
Our love is pure. Our love is true. And money is so crass So take that old prenup of yours And stick it up your...
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As I lay me down to sleep I pray my lord your health to keep I pray for peace for all our sake I Pray the condom didn't break.
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Your eyes, your lips, your heart, your mind These parts of you I love In small jars of turpentine Kept on the shelf above.
Ah, finally we've tied the knot A crowd of people cheers us Above the floor, my light feet trot As the hangman executes us
My darling dear, I'll make it clear You know my heart is yours So, pookie poo, why does it bother you When my body hangs out with whores? ___
Apple of my eye, I loved you true ever since our first date A month gone by and I still do but now I'm three weeks late ___
Pick any other girl but you and they couldn't please me better you won my heart (and the contest too) because no t-shirt was wetter ___
I'll spend this night alone I'll be with the one I love But I'll be safe, as can be shown by my plans to wear a glove
My love, it seems, is part of me And really quite divine I'm sure it's plain for all to see I love this hand of mine
I'd love to be your Valentine, But it might be a tad funky; Though I love you, my mom objects 'Cause you're a singing monkey.
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It's not that I don't love you, I don't want you to be hurt; The reason I won't eat it is The sushi's a bit burnt.
---------------------------------- I took a strip-tease class for him, I'd not one thing left on, But he would not touch me and said, "Hon, wait 'till Star Trek's done".
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Your heart does truly guide your tongue With love's vocabulary; Now let's see if you can tie a maraschino cherry.
There's enough of me to go around (More than enough its said) So how 'bot you, and your roommate too Join me in the bed?
On this day of love's true way Lets give our souls a whirl And tell me true, my darling do Have you ever kissed a girl?
You're a sweet and lovely woman And fun to be with too. I only with reluctance picked Your roommate over you.
You have my love, you have my joy My heart you surely got So do you mind if I add Man your sister's hot.
I love the way you make me laugh I live for your caress Forgive me, dear, my flouncing tears I think it's PMS.
A wife is such a comfort To enjoy as I can Especially when married To another man
Your smile lifts my heart to joy Your strong arms let me rest Of all the husbands I will know Today you are the best.
Your makeup is impeachable Your stockings are just right But Harvey dear, I do fear That dress is just too tight.
For love I painted my toenails red For love I joined a gym For love I'll follow you as long As you've more cash than him.
I said when we were married That I'd love you until death But no one told me nothin' About old guys' real bad breath.
The lingere' is sexy I do not mean to scoff But it cost too much money For you to rip it off
I love your sense of childlike fun You know I'm not into kinky But metal spirals I did not mean With "Get me something slinky."
I bought roses and chocolates On you I did not skimp I paid your bill, but get no thrill From tipping you new pimp.
Well, thank you for the chocolates And thanks for all that cash But she was not quite what I meant When I said "Take out the trash."
I said I'll always love you You didn't have to wait But I know I'll dissapear When you set the date.
Lets celebrate our love and life Lets party and lets live The lab tests have all come back And each is negative. ---
"I'll consumate our love" she said With a little wink and nudge "But if you hit me one more time I'm gonna see the judge." ---
I know you think I'm sexy I really love the ring But your a guy and so am I And that really ain't my thing. --- Lets have fun, lets have laughs Be wild and outrageous My doctor reassured me dear That I'm not yet contagious
Posts: 11895 | Registered: Apr 2002
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That was really fun.
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