posted
I would like to start a Hatrack Petition for the full and immediate return of Alaska to its proper Russian soverienty since it was obviously sold under coercion, who will sign?
posted
Dude, we took a lot of land under questionable circumstances. Russia should be glad that we actually *paid* them for it.
Posts: 3546 | Registered: Jul 2002
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posted
I'm kinda curious about that one myself. I thought jests were supposed to be funny.
Posts: 10177 | Registered: Apr 2001
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Blayne Bradley
unregistered
posted
Why is it not? Obviously you lack my sense of humor. Now if only I knew how to spell the bone by the same name then i could give a funny link but alas.
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quote:Originally posted by Shigosei: erosomniac, are any of Liliuokalani's heirs still around to give Hawaii back to?
I'm not sure about a linear descendant, but there are definitely still relatives.
And even barring those relatives, there are still a number of pissed off Hawaiians who would be willing to settle for having all the foreigners booted out and a return to self-rule.
Posts: 4313 | Registered: Sep 2004
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posted
We don't have to list the ways why it's not funny. The burden of proof is on you, since you're the one who started the thread.
I, for one, can't think of a single reason why it would be funny, even taking into account how much you love other countries.
Posts: 5462 | Registered: Apr 2005
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Blayne Bradley
unregistered
posted
I dont need a burdon of proof all I need is that its funny for me, if its not funny for you well...
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It's ok Blayne, I chuckled. If those of you that didn't find it funny want to know, I could try to explain why I chuckled.
- Alaska was sold to America for a far undervalued price, so we may as well just give it away. (See how this part is a joke? I don't actually think it's a good idea to give it away, but the idea can be found amusing when looked at in a monetary light.)
- The Russians only ever had three colonies in what is now Alaska, so as far as occupation is concerned, it was the Inuit's and other indiginous people's land. There is still a large native population that has never left the land, so the idea of one gov't selling it to another gov't and then that gov't giving it back to the original gov't while the same people who are seperate from either gov't live there the entire time can be found funny, to those of us with a certain kind of sense of humor.
- When America bought Alaska from Russia, the land was almost entirely unspoiled. Now we are on the verge of destroying one of the largest national widelife reserves, have had multiple oil spills off the coast, have harvested thousands of acres of forest, have sucked up a large amount of natural oil and gas, and it's gonna start melting soon. The idea of now giving it back is amusing, to me at least. It'd be even funnier if we sold it back for way more than what we paid.
I suppose it's kind of a dark humor, but I can find it, and without too much difficulty. I guess Blayne can too.
Edit: And thusly we prove yet again that explaining the funny reduces the funny.
posted
Still plenty of oil to suck out of its soil before I'd feel comfortable giving Alaska back to the Russians. But heck if we are going down that route, we should probably open the books of Native American affairs before we worry about Russia.
Posts: 14316 | Registered: Jul 2005
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posted
Or we could just take over Mexico and give Texas the boot, they've always wanted that anyway. That would be easier...
Posts: 3389 | Registered: Apr 2004
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posted
Russia doesn't even need or want it. They have way more than enough land for their people, and Siberia is closer with far more natural resources remaining than Alaska has. Besides, we paid for it fair and square, just like we bought the Louisiana Purchase, which also wasn't really someone else's to sell us, but that was how Western Powers used to operate when it came to divying up land.
Posts: 21898 | Registered: Nov 2004
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quote:Originally posted by Altáriël of Dorthonion: Or we could just take over Mexico and give Texas the boot, they've always wanted that anyway. That would be easier...
...we're giving Italy to Texas? Posts: 884 | Registered: Mar 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Altáriël of Dorthonion: Or we could just take over Mexico and give Texas the boot, they've always wanted that anyway. That would be easier...
...we're giving Italy to Texas?
The thought of those two cultures merging (or attempting to) fills me with a certain evil joy. It'd be *so* fun to watch!
Posts: 2409 | Registered: Sep 2003
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quote:Originally posted by Lyrhawn: Russia doesn't even need or want it. They have way more than enough land for their people, and Siberia is closer with far more natural resources remaining than Alaska has. Besides, we paid for it fair and square, just like we bought the Louisiana Purchase, which also wasn't really someone else's to sell us, but that was how Western Powers used to operate when it came to divying up land.
You can't claim us! We live here!
D'you have a flag?
Posts: 5462 | Registered: Apr 2005
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Just ask Texas. They've had more flags flying over them than anyone else I can think of (which is where Six Flags theme parks come from).
Posts: 21898 | Registered: Nov 2004
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quote:Originally posted by Shigosei: erosomniac, are any of Liliuokalani's heirs still around to give Hawaii back to?
In fact, yes. I am good friends with one; he was a coworker of mine and currently works with my wife.
Posts: 13680 | Registered: Mar 2002
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posted
I think America needs to work on TAKING more sweet stuff. Forget about giving Hawaii and Alaska back; I say we start by annexing Baja California.
Posts: 3950 | Registered: Mar 2006
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Being from a hard-core Russian family, I must object to any unsenistive treatment of a proud and noble people. We have provided the world with amazing mathemticians, ballet and other fine things. Now excuse me while I drink some vodk--milk....
Posts: 3060 | Registered: Nov 2003
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posted
To be Russian is a cultural heritage which I lack but nonetheless I very much wish I was a part of, whether I wished I was born Chinese or Russian I cannot say with certainty which one to choose but assuming that out of any caucasian nation I would choose Russia hands down. Russian along with Chinese I am trying to learn.
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quote:Originally posted by MightyCow: I think America needs to work on TAKING more sweet stuff. Forget about giving Hawaii and Alaska back; I say we start by annexing Baja California.
quote:Originally posted by vonk: Mexico wants to be taken over?
And Texas has plenty of boots, thank you.
-I don't think Mexico would mind, after all we keep coming over, right? It would also lessen the negative views we, stereotypically, have of Puerto Ricans who get their shiny citizenship without having to pay taxes or the like and who seem to enjoy slapping that in our face every time they feel like it. Disclaimer: I don't believe that I feel that way about Puerto Ricans, but I have witnessed a few things, and heard a few others to make this statement.
-Texas, that I know of, keeps petitioning to the federal government to secede from the nation every time they can.
Posts: 3389 | Registered: Apr 2004
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quote:Originally posted by MightyCow: I think America needs to work on TAKING more sweet stuff. Forget about giving Hawaii and Alaska back; I say we start by annexing Baja California.
I agree.
In an ideal world, that would be super sweet. However, the thought of tearing down the fence that separates T.J. from San Diego is very scary.
Besides, underage drinkers wouldn't have a place to do it legally anymore which would certainly piss people off, mostly because they'd do it anywhere now instead of just T.J.
Posts: 3389 | Registered: Apr 2004
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posted
Given the purchase was referred to as "Seward's Folly" at the time, I don't think the general thinking of the time was that the U.S. got such a great deal.
posted
Speaking as a life-long Alaskan, I can tell you that Russia will never get this land back. I am in the process of forming a Triumvirate that will take control of the state government and, eventually, leave me as Emperor. Then I will build up Alaska's power by annexing Canada province by province. Then the real expansion can begin.
Posts: 1814 | Registered: Jul 2004
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We can also thank the Russians for our superiority in stealth technology. Had they not persecuted and forced the scientist who invented it to escape to America, we'd never be as far ahead as we are.
Good work guys!
And I wouldn't have a problem with slowly working Mexico into the USA, but not all at once. I actually look forward to someday being able to turn North America into a more cohesive unit.
Posts: 21898 | Registered: Nov 2004
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quote:Originally posted by Lyrhawn: Russia doesn't even need or want it. They have way more than enough land for their people, and Siberia is closer with far more natural resources remaining than Alaska has. Besides, we paid for it fair and square, just like we bought the Louisiana Purchase, which also wasn't really someone else's to sell us, but that was how Western Powers used to operate when it came to divying up land.
Actually, the Louisiana Purchase was kind of illegal, because the government hadn't been empowered to do it.
Posts: 12266 | Registered: Jul 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Altáriël of Dorthonion: Or we could just take over Mexico and give Texas the boot, they've always wanted that anyway. That would be easier...
...we're giving Italy to Texas?
The thought of those two cultures merging (or attempting to) fills me with a certain evil joy. It'd be *so* fun to watch!
There's a pizza place in Manhattan called "Two Boots". It's Italian/Cajun.
Posts: 12266 | Registered: Jul 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Altáriël of Dorthonion: -Texas, that I know of, keeps petitioning to the federal government to secede from the nation every time they can.
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