posted
(Skip this first paragraph if you already know my story)
My wife, step-daughter and I moved to Houston in February 2001. I took a job with a software company that had me on the road quite a bit. When the software company struggled and had some layoffs (which I made it through), I decided to try other ventures. I got on with Johnson Space Center as the CAD (Computer Aided Design) Administrator. I worked that job until July 2005 when I left JSC to work for an engineering consulting company so we could move back home to Tulsa, OK.
(this is the new part)
The reason we moved back to Tulsa is because my wife and step-daughter HAD to. I was told they were moving back (with our new two kids also) and if I wanted to see them, I had to give up my dream job and move back. I had a great job. I worked hand in hand with astronauts and some of the smartest engineers I have ever met. Our area of Houston (right inbetween Houston and Galveston on the water) was amazing. The schools were great. But my wife and step-daughter wanted to move back to their extended family. The problem with that is, they are all nuts. Every single one of them. And they get together EVERY WEEKEND. There is no such thing as personal family time. Going to a movie requires hours of planning. Plus, there is really nothing to do in Tulsa. In Houston, there are major league sports, awesome museums, salt-water, seafood, etc. Tulsa has movie thatres.
Well, I am working back at JSC on a consulting basis. I work out of my house most of the time and come down here when needed. Since it is summer and we live only 500 miles away, I bring them with me. They are having a blast down here. They are getting out and seeing old friends, going to movies, etc.
Now, they want to move back. My step-daughter started crying saying she wants to move back here when she grows up so her kids can live down here. Here's the thing, I don't want to move back. I don't want to move back for one reason... my oldest daughter. She has always lived with her mom in Tulsa. She came down on occasion and we saw her when we were back, but now I get her every other weekend and half the summer. I get to see her school plays and dance recitals. I didn't realize how much I missed by living in Tulsa. My daughter made a timeline of her life for school. Me moving back was one of the eight highlights in her 10 hear old life.
Plus, my wife always wants what she can't have. She had a big falling out with her family and if we were to move back here, she would have the same issues. I hated starting and stopping every holiday with a 500 mile trip. I can move back here after my oldest is out of school.
Right now, they just wish we could live back here. They haven't started really pushing for it, yet. I hope this doesn't turn into another showdown.
Posts: 1766 | Registered: Feb 2006
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quote: The problem with that is, they are all nuts. Every single one of them. And they get together EVERY WEEKEND. There is no such thing as personal family time. Going to a movie requires hours of planning.
Somehow, this part reminded me of My Big Fat Greek Wedding (but probably just because I watched it again yesterday.... )
I get kinda lost on some of the rest of the story. The step-daughter is older than your oldest daughter you are talking about (the 10 year old)?
I don't have any advice, Jack, but will keep you in my thoughts. I guess I would lean toward doing all you can to keep the marriage together because that will be far better for the kids no matter WHERE they end up living.
posted
Sorry it is so, well... blah. I was always horrible in English.
My daughter and step-daughter are both 10. They are three months apart. They are great friends but go to different schools. My ex is talking about moving to our town because the schools are better. This would probably happen when both of them hit middle school. I think that would help curb my step-daughters desire to move back.
Posts: 1766 | Registered: Feb 2006
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Grew up in Tulsa. Moved to Houston (family hated it, I loved it). Moved back to Tulsa because family insisted (now they hate it, I tolerate it to see my daughter more). Want to move back to Houston (I say no).
Update, they came out and asked if we could move back last night. I said no. I gave good reasons and I think they understand it is not feasible.
Posts: 1766 | Registered: Feb 2006
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