posted
I have a question regarding health insurance and billing.
Right now I'm a 22 year-old college student still on her parents' health insurance. I hope to move out on my own after I graduate in December, at which point I'll start paying for company benefits through my job and have my own health insurance. I really don't know anything about benefits and insurance but this seems to be the plan for me.
The problem is that as graduation approaches, my anxiety has taken a turn for the worst and I've begun having panic attacks several times a week despite having only two or three in my whole life prior to this month. I met with a counselor two years ago and just a few months of that really helped me work things out. It wasn't until I reached the end of my rope that my parents' agreed to get me that help.
I would like to go back into therapy but really can't stand the stress of convincing my parents. While dealing with a new job which I hate and writing my thesis which is already a semester late, I talked to them alot about the stress I was under, hoping they might understand. My father simply replied that I was too young to be "stressed" and left it at that. (btw, I agree that my anxiety is illogical but that doesn't keep it from hurting me.)
I just can't wait until it gets so bad again that they are forced to acknowledge that my feelings are real.
So this brings me to my question: Is there anyway I can get a therapist through my parents' health insurance without them finding out? Like I said, I don't know much about insurance but it seems like they would have to send out a bill or some notification. If there was the slimmest chance that this was possible, how do I need to go about it? My overprotective mother has always handled these sorts of things so I'm completely clueless as to what sort of process I should follow.
Posts: 1733 | Registered: Apr 2005
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posted
As an adult, you may be able to get an appointment and get treatment without your parents finding out, but I don't think there's any way you can keep them from getting the paperwork.
You're best bet is to ask the office the therapist that you visit if they can send the statement to another address, but I don't know if they will be permitted to send it to somewhere other than the address on the insurance.
Posts: 3275 | Registered: May 2007
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posted
You're 22. You don't have to ask them or convince them or persuade them. Just make yourself an appointment, hand them your insurance card and drivers license at the doctors when they ask, and don't mention it to your parents. If they get a bill and ask you about it, tell them in a completely deadpan voice "Oh, yes, I saw a doctor about my panic attacks" then change the subject. If they say anything else about it, like "We told you not to go to the doctor blah blah" just calmly look at them and say nothing until they run out of steam. If they continue to yell at you, freak out, act horrible, whatever, just say "Oh, I have to go now! See you later" and leave. Stay gone a proportional amount of time based oh how badly they acted. If they acted really really bad then stay gone two weeks, for instance. Come back and act like nothing untoward has happened. If they yell and scream again immediately then leave and don't go back for a month. If they act nice for a day before they yell and scream then go back in only a week, and so on. Soon by your refusal to discuss it, they will understand that things have changed between you. That you are grown up now and don't need to ask permission anymore for your life choices.
It's also good to show kindness here as long as you can do so without it seeming like appeasement. Just be good to them in random ways, though if they treat you badly for it, then you should hold off until they stop that.
Basically you have to assert your ownership of your own life. This is a process that has to be done at some age. Far better to do it at 22 than wait until you're 36 or 44 or whenever.
Good luck and let us know how it goes.
Parents can be wonderful companions and advisers when properly trained. Be patient but firm. They respond best to consistency and they like to know what the rules are. You soon will find you have a loving and happy home life. Posts: 6246 | Registered: Aug 2004
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posted
Always, always get the mental help you need. I believe the last time I filled out the dr's form, there was a billing address and an insurance address. I would ask about that because you don't want to be sending the bill to your parents. As long as you are paying, they don't have a right to complain. Make sure you mantain continuous coverage when switch to new insurance. Your stress is real and going to a therapist is very responsible of you. At 22, there are a lot of people going through similar problems with stress and seeing a therapist. You are not overreacting in getting help.
Posts: 1001 | Registered: Mar 2006
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quote:Is there anyway I can get a therapist through my parents' health insurance without them finding out?
No. Your parents will continue to get the Explanation of Benefits as long as they provide your insurance coverage.
But, there are alternatives, you can get health insurance on your own. You can buy short-term plans through independent brokers in your area for a lower cost. Browse the yellow pages and start making calls.
My best advice doesn't differ much from Tatiana's. Stay on your parent's insurance as long as you can. Many insurance companies allow you to stay on your parent's a year after graduation or until you are of a certain age (21?), which ever comes first. You'd need to check on the details. Whatever you do, don't be without insurance. Some policies penalize you if have been without insurance before you join with them. Also, you may experience waiting periods, which means you may not receive services for pre-existing conditions for up to a year after you re-gain coverage. This means your insurance company doesn't have to pay for care (doctor visits) related to a specific diagnosis until the period is over.
There are so many things insurance companies don't tell you. I apologize if I got into too much detail, but these are all things I had to learn the hard way.
Posts: 2064 | Registered: Dec 2003
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posted
Even if there is no lapse in coverage, sometimes there are waiting periods before you can get something covered on a new plan. It's ...complicated. Especially with mental health coverage. So, when you switch to your new coverage, make sure to get an explanation of covered services in writing, and closely check the mental health benefits. In other words, I'm repeating a lot of what Valentine said above, but it's very important to understand these things so you don't get stuck with bills you didn't expect.
You may also wind up having to pay out of pocket for some therapy for a while. I still encourage you to do it, because there is no greater investment you can make than in your own physical and mental health.
Posts: 14428 | Registered: Aug 2001
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posted
Maybe my parents just don't read their mail...but they're paying for my school health insurance, and the doctor still mails what's left of the bill to my house.
quote:My father simply replied that I was too young to be "stressed" and left it at that. (btw, I agree that my anxiety is illogical but that doesn't keep it from hurting me.)
It is not illogical to be stressed upon leaving University and beginning work!
Posts: 8473 | Registered: Apr 2003
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quote:My father simply replied that I was too young to be "stressed" and left it at that. (btw, I agree that my anxiety is illogical but that doesn't keep it from hurting me.)
It is not illogical to be stressed upon leaving University and beginning work!
Especially considering you have a history of panic attacks.
Posts: 1594 | Registered: Apr 2006
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quote:My father simply replied that I was too young to be "stressed" and left it at that. (btw, I agree that my anxiety is illogical but that doesn't keep it from hurting me.)
It is not illogical to be stressed upon leaving University and beginning work!
Seconded. Shanna, I've been dealing with a lot of stress myself this summer, and I graduate in December too. I had to switch medication before I started seeing any change at all. For a couple of weeks, I literally didn't leave the house. I just lay in bed all day and ordered pizza. I didn't want to see people or do anything. Also, I reorganized everything in my home.
It took my parents a really long time to accept that I have OCD, and it took them even longer to stop criticizing me for taking medication. A lot of people just can't see psychological issues as being just as serious as physical ones, but they're your parents, and if you can find a way to get through to them about it, it would probably be a big help. We should have a chat.
posted
I did some counseling at school during my last struggle with depression two years ago. But none of the interns were very helpful and I was never allowed to see any of the licensed therapists. Regardless, I've only got my thesis left so I'm living at home to finish it, so that door is closed.
When I say "illogical," I'm talking about the level of my anxiety. I saw alot of my classmates and friends struggle with the stresses of applying for grad school, finding jobs, and deciding where to live. But the amount of stress I feel doesn't correlate with the actual threat. It feels like I'm standing on the edge of a cliff 24/7. I'm not speaking metaphorically, I mean literally. Sometimes I wish I could just have some sort of surgery to remove whatever is responsible for releasing adrenaline into the body.
The thing with my parents is complicated because my mother is actually on medication for her anxiety. So I've either learned this behavior from her or its genetic. I think its both because her mother was once hospitalized for mental health problems. And its hard not to grow up a "worrier" when your mother is a the Queen of Worrying. But she just blames her stress on things like our family moving to a new state or my younger brother's recent diabetes diagnosis. She doesn't see her anxiety as a problem that comes from within, as something she has regardless of the circumstancces. I want to try cognitive therapy so that hopefully I won't have to live like this for the rest of my life. I tried medication but felt horribly sedated on it and I'd rather take an active part in my own healing.
As for solutions, I might look into the whole "mailing address" thing. My boyfriend would probably be fine letting me send stuff to his place, though I think he'd prefer I'd confront my parents. And I've done the whole "leaving" thing back when my parents were refusing to let me out of the house to see him. I would just leave and been gone for a few days. They're okay with it now but it seems to have permanently damaged my relationship with them. Its a tense environment at the best of times.
Still, I suck at lying or being underhanded and probably would feel more anxious trying to deceive the insurance people. It might be the lesser of two evils to try appealing to my mom again.
Posts: 1733 | Registered: Apr 2005
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posted
You can try the county mental health clinic or Catholic Social Services. Or you could call your doctor for a referral to a psychiatrist, then call that office and ask about privacy concerns.
Posts: 6316 | Registered: Jun 2003
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posted
My school's counselors were utterly useless to me as well. Usually, school therapists are really only focused on "college issues," so they really only worry about you becoming suicidal or whether you have a drug, alcohol, or sex problem. They just aren't well-equipped to handle much else.
Therapy is awesome. Shanna, I don't know if you'd be eligible for it, but I got some money from the Red Cross to help me with my therapy expenses based on my pre-hurricane address. It was a HUGE help for me, and you can even have the therapist bill them directly. I'm trying to find the website right now...anyways, they will pay up to $2000 of costs for therapy.
But I would consider medication in conjunction with therapy, just because it can help if you don't have a lot of time during the day to deal with anxiety - I'm in therapy for OCD, but it can be extremely time-consuming...not only the disorder, but the therapy itself. So if you have a busy schedule, a combination of the two might be really helpful.
posted
For most mental problems, there are a multitude of drugs out there. Sometimes it can take time figuring out the right one and the right dosage. Sometimes, it is easier to do the lifestyle changes with the drugs and then ease off. If can give you a better chance of working everything out and starting your new lifestyle.
Posts: 1001 | Registered: Mar 2006
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posted
When you do get new insurance eventually, you might look in to biofeedback. It sounds like you might benefit from it and you are a good candidate from what I know of you and understand of biofeedback (my dad is friends with one of the pioneering researchers, I get free biofeedback when I want it, it has really helped me with a couple of issues.)
Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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posted
I've never heard of biofeedback. I'll check into that.
How does signing up for insurance work? I've been given alot of talk from family and friends about getting a job now that will allow me to sign up for benefits before I move so that I'll be able to move from one coverage to another without any gaps. But what is the difference between "benefits" and "health insurance." And if I'm getting covered through my job, will I get a choice of insurance companies? Will having anxiety as a pre-existing condition make it difficult for me to get going? When I change jobs, will my insurance have to change?
Ah, the joys of growing up as a spoiled kid with overbearing suburbian parents! The real world is going to eat me alive!
pH, let me know if you find that site. I'd love to hear more about what you know regarding local resources. I've heard about hurricane-related mental health aid but since I live on the northshore, I don't know if any of that is open to me. But it does sound like a possibility. And btw, we really should meet up.
posted
Benefits are all the perks you get (dental, vacation days, health insurance, life insurance, etc). Each company will have its own benefits package. For health insurance, in jobs my spouse and I have had, the health insurance usually started one of two paychecks after start day.
Going through your company usually means you are going to have group coverage, which means that they won't ask you anything about your current health. HIPAA has a bunch of regulations also about denying coverage for preexisting conditions. Except in special circumstance, as long as you have had prior coverage for 12 months (or 18 months in some cases) with no breaks longer than 62 days you are good. There are situations that change this.
If you are getting covered through your job, you might get a choice in plan, but not in company. Look over the plan because some will not include mental or pregnancy or other things. Your company will have a defined way to sign up for insurance which you will have to ask the HR person about. When you change jobs, you will not be able to keep the same insurance. However, there is something called COBRA that will allow you to fill in the gaps while transferring. Basically, you pay full rate for the plan you were on and you can do this for like 6 months. Then you would need to have new insurance set up, private or group.
Posts: 1001 | Registered: Mar 2006
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posted
Benefits is an umbrella term that includes all non-monetary compensation you get from your job. Common benefits are health insurance, dental and vision, 401K (preferably with matching,) short and long term disability insurance, and life insurance. You want as many as you can get.
Most companies contract with one insurance company, possibly two if they're very large. You don't usually get a choice, because the company gets the best rate from the insurance company by buying as many policies as possible. So if they let everyone pick what company they wanted to go with, they'd have a lot less bargaining power, and your insurance wouldn't be much cheaper than buying it on your own.
As long as you don't have a lapse in coverage, pre-existing conditions shouldn't matter. When you change jobs, your insurance will change, although both companies might use the same insurance provider. You'll still get a new card, because you'll have a new group number. Your month premium might also change. (Generally the company pays a part of the monthly insurance bill and the employee pays a part. The employee part is called a premium, and is the cost of having the coverage. Using the coverage may also incur costs, called co-pays. The insurance pays most of the cost of each service, but you pay a little. Regular check-ups usually don't have co-pays, going in because you're sick does. This is supposed to encourage you to use preventive medicine instead of getting sick when it cold have been prevented. Co-pays range from about $10 - $50, usually, with prescriptions on the low end and ambulance rides on the high end.)
Did I miss anything?
Posts: 7954 | Registered: Mar 2004
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Please get all information about COBRA from government websites, there are lots of companies that have websites talking about COBRA but they're just companies trying to sell you insurance - telling you they have an "alternative to COBRA" but COBRA is not insurance, it just allows you to continue on your parents' insurance at the group rate, instead of having to pay full price.
So, if you're concerned about a lapse in coverage, try going through COBRA to continue your coverage until your new coverage kicks in. It will be expensive - but usually less expensive than buying individual insurance yourself. Buying individual insurance will probably not provide you coverage for a pre-existing mental health issue anyway.
Posts: 14428 | Registered: Aug 2001
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