posted
My first writing assignment for college is to write an essay/journal entry discussing my views on rhetoric. As a result I thought that it would be a tad funny to make the essay as rhetorical sounding as possible.
Here is the beginning of the introduction:
Rhetoric has been viewed throughout history in a variety of ways, from being an art to being deception used by a wily charmer. I, as a self-serving pragmatist, have thought of rhetoric both ways, depending on which way suits me at the time. I utilize it often in analytical essays in order to make a shallow point come across as deep and insightful. When used this way I believe myself to be a wordsmith and can see no harm in it. When, however, it is put to use by a politician I heartily compare the man to the deceptive serpent.
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posted
Rhetoric has been viewed in a variety of ways, from art to deception. As a self-serving pragmatist, I like to think of rhetoric both ways, depending on which way is currently more useful. I use rhetoric in essays to make shallow points come across as deep and insightful. When used this way I believe myself to be a wordsmith and can see no harm in it. When, however, it is put to use by a politician I heartily compare the man to the deceptive serpent.
-- my (quick) rewrite. Use less words. Be more precise.
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Rhetoric has been viewed as art and as deception. I think of rhetoric both ways, as suits me. In essays it makes a shallow point insightful. I think such use makes me a wordsmith. However, I think politicians using rhetoric are deceptive serpents.
Some notes: if you use variety, don't use both. Variety implies far more. Match a list of two (that aren't just examples) from many with both, or drop the both. Utilize is almost always a bad word choice. Also, you might consider rephrasing; you construct art and deception as opposites, but they aren't. You can artfully deceive someone.
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posted
Thanks alot, everyone. Yeah, I just went over it and found so much wrong with it, but I suppose that I what I get for writing it at 2 AM.
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posted
In general, things written late at night -- or ever! -- deserve a rewrite before exposure to the world. Writing is more about rewriting than inspiration.
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posted
Rhetoric - art and deception; as suits me. In essays it makes shallow points insightful. That makes me a wordsmith. It makes politicians deceptive serpents.
posted
Just don’t get so hung up on the intro that you don’t have time to put the rest of the essay together. Otherwise you will be relying on the rhetorical canon of Invention to come up with something to say to your teacher about why you’re not done.
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posted
Yes, well, you are suffering from the common problem of new college students, which is that they are still mentally in high school. Zero points for cleverness; just get your point across.
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quote:Yes, well, you are suffering from the common problem of new college students, which is that they are still mentally in high school. Zero points for cleverness; just get your point across.
huh, I don't know that I agree. I don't particularly remember being rewarded for cleverness in high school, or demoted for cleverness in college.
I think as long as the point does get across, be as clever as you want. No need to kill creativity.
posted
For a rhetorician, cleverness does count, at least as far as being able to phrase it well. You could say that the composition portion of rhetoric is all about cleverness with its attention to clever word and phrasing tricks.
However, you're right, you need to cut out the fluff and go right for the jugular, to mix some metaphors. High school students haven't all learned to kill the fluff yet.
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quote:For a rhetorician, cleverness does count, at least as far as being able to phrase it well. You could say that the composition portion of rhetoric is all about cleverness with its attention to clever word and phrasing tricks.
Agreed, but the assignment wasn't "Write an essay using rhetoric", it was "Write an essay about rhetoric." Jon decided to go all meta on it and pull out the rhetorical ruffles and flourishes; I suspect this would have gotten him a lot of brownie points in high school, but it doesn't do anything to advance his actual argument, whatever that is, which is what he'll be rewarded for in college. (Well, anyway it's what he should be rewarded for - obviously I don't know his professor, who may be doing things wrong. Jon will have to be the judge of that.)
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posted
That opening does look very much like a freshman comp paper. But there's nothing wrong with that, presumably you ARE an undergraduate writing your first paper, so what would anybody expect it to look like? Believe me, your professor or instructor also expects it to look like it was written by an inexperienced undergrad student.
Clean it up, re-write and edit (not at 2:00 am if you can help it) and turn in the cleanest, best paper you can. Your writing will improve throughout your college experience. Take this and other opportunities to learn how to polish your writing and make it as clear and concise and well-argued as you can. And good luck. Posts: 14428 | Registered: Aug 2001
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quote:For a rhetorician, cleverness does count, at least as far as being able to phrase it well. You could say that the composition portion of rhetoric is all about cleverness with its attention to clever word and phrasing tricks.
Agreed, but the assignment wasn't "Write an essay using rhetoric", it was "Write an essay about rhetoric." Jon decided to go all meta on it and pull out the rhetorical ruffles and flourishes; I suspect this would have gotten him a lot of brownie points in high school, but it doesn't do anything to advance his actual argument, whatever that is, which is what he'll be rewarded for in college. (Well, anyway it's what he should be rewarded for - obviously I don't know his professor, who may be doing things wrong. Jon will have to be the judge of that.)
I agree with that. Often your first idea about how to approach your paper is not the best one. Trying to employ all the rhetorical tricks and tropes while writing your paper about rhetoric is only going to make the paper twice as hard to write. Especially since now you'll be judged on how well you use the rhetorical stuff as well as on how good your paper is.
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posted
I forgot to mention, by the by, that in addition to being an essay about rhetoric the class itself is rhetoric 101.
Here is the rest, but before I post it I want to repeat that it was written at 2 AM and that it was the first draft. Oh, it is a mini-essay, not a regular essay and you get full credit just for turning it in. The point of this assignment was just so the teacher could see our writing style. As it is a relatively small class she has the luxury to do that. Voila:
Rhetoric has been viewed throughout history in a variety of ways, from being an art to being deception used by a wily charmer. I, as a self-serving pragmatist, have thought of rhetoric both ways, depending on which way suits me at the time. I utilize it often in analytical essays in order to make a shallow point come across as deep and insightful. When used this way I believe myself to be a wordsmith and can see no harm in it. When, however, it is put to use by a politician I heartily compare the man to the serpent of Eden. Even when I harshly rebuke the speeches made by these men who seem to be born with the gift of seduction I cannot help but find myself admiring their enchanting ways. I feel that they have put their talents to the ultimate test, entrancing scores to follow them with their empty, but beautiful, words.
There have been many times in the past when I was unable to think of truly deep analytical comparisons when writing essays on topics as varied as Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein to the bombing of Nagasaki. As a result, I turned to what I considered to be a standby: I chose a minute detail of the story and then compared it to mythology, religion, history, and philosophy. Making use of rhetoric and this technique I was able to write many pages about the topic, despite the fact that the jumps were barely rational; because of the convoluted, but eloquent, language it appeared that the messages contained were profound, rather than the shallow heap which was in fact buried beneath the surface. To the casual observer, and that is all that teachers are with the dozens of essays which they must grade, it seemed a work of art, and resulted in my success in English.
The difference between politicians and I is that my rhetoric does no harm. The politicians wonderfully crafted words result in swaying public opinion about topics which they have no true understanding, simply because they are under the spell of a great orator. These men often turn into demagogues by appealing to the fears of the majority and thus attain great influence. The result of such a thing has been seen time and time again, from Hitler to McCarthy. The sorceror casts a mighty charm, and can be detested for such a thing, however, while I cannot approve of the result of his actions, I admire the means he used to achieve his goal. Wooing the masses is an art in which only a select few are gifted, and one cannot help but swoon before them.
Rhetoric itself is never to be condemned, but should be admired; it is the people who use it to attain power which they utilize towards malicious ends who are to be reproached when the history is put to paper. The mythos of something being evil simply because it was misused must be expunged, for without rhetoric brilliant men such as Plato, Aristotle, and Demosthenes may not have attained influence and benefited mankind. Rhetoric is a great art, and a useful tool to attain influence. From what I have seen, influence is power, and one must simply hope that the right people are given this gift.
I couldn't think how to wrap it up and I was really tired at this point, 2:30.
Edit: Oh, one more thing, I tried to fluff this up much more than I normally do just to be jocular 'cause it wasn't worth anything, maybe I should have mentioned that at the beginning. However I do use a lot of fluff often and I appreciate all the comments, I will keep them in mind during my next essay.
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Believe me, your professor or instructor also expects it to look like it was written by an inexperienced undergrad student.
