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Author Topic: Stress and dysfunction
Lisa
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I pretty much live my life stressed. If it isn't one thing, it's two things. Or three. It never seems to stop.

A lot of it (the worst of it) is stuff I can't do anything about. Which adds to the stress. I'm a problem solver by nature, and running into problems that really have no solutions... is paralyzing.

And the paralysis isn't content to stay in a box. I've been unable to accomplish much at work for well over a month now. Which is kind of bad, because I'm the main developer. Fortunately, when I am able to work, I churn out more work in a short time than most people would be able to, so it seems to have gone unnoticed so far.

Every time I go to do something at work, I feel an almost palpable aversion. I bring up Facebook and play WordTwist, or Cubefield. Or I go to Hatrack. Or my RSS reader. Or check e-mail. Or open up a book. Or eat. I've been doing way too much of that lately, as well.

Focusing is hard.

I have a to-do list of so many things I want to accomplish, and I just can't make any headway into any of them. I get started, and once it starts flowing, I get that same aversion.

I know it's stress-related. Sometimes I have an image in my head of screaming louder than I could probably really scream in real life. You see people on TV and in the movies breaking under stress, and I think I kind of wish I could do that. Is that odd? Probably.

Stress-induced paralysis. It's kind of interesting, in a detached sort of way. But I'm damned if I know what to do about it.

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Corwin
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Talk to a psychologist? I've been in a situation similar to yours and it was indeed no fun. Had a hard time finding a way to finish my university studies (despite being in the easiest year) and finding a job. I got really lucky to get out of it with minimal help from a psychologist whom I found not to be interested in my situation. :shrug: The turning point for me was realizing that since there are some things I can't do I shouldn't give a crap about them, and move on to those I can do. There are still some after-effects preventing me to do things that only "seem" impossible, or seem very hard to do - despite repeated evidence to the contrary. But things are much better than they were before.
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Scott R
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quote:
Stress-induced paralysis. It's kind of interesting, in a detached sort of way. But I'm damned if I know what to do about it.
:nods:

I know just what you mean.

For me, I've found that when I force myself to work, I can generally get some quality done. It's not up to my standards; but at this time in my life, I've decided to let it be.

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Brinestone
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Have you ever tried screaming as loud as you can while stopped at red lights? I do that sometimes, and it feels really good.
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Lisa
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I almost broke my hand punching a kitchen cabinet one day. It was harder than it looked.

But... I'm kind of afraid that if I start screaming, it's going to be awfully hard to get myself back under control.

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Noemon
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Ever think about getting a punching bag and a pair of boxing gloves? You'd be able to pummel the thing until you collapsed, exhausted, without doing nearly as much damage to your hands.
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Vyrus
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Pretty much what Corwin said-you can only change what or help what you can, and deal with the rest.

I have also felt that life-altering level of stress. [Although not the I-have-to-support-myself/family/other-or-I'll starve-kind], but nonetheless I can relate.

What I see is a self-fulfilling prophecy, an odd paradox.

You're too stressed to deal with the work, yet the stress is caused by the overwhelming amount of work still have not completed.

Putting it off isn't going to change anything.

Find ways to calm down, people to confide in, and get your ass moving.

I have to have someone perpetually kick me in the butt to remind of this fact. There were never truer words [well, words applicable to this situation, anyway] than these five:

[Pardon my french:]

Shit happens; deal with it.


Dealing with kind of thing can be very hard, and more challenging than most people can handle; I can't tell you the exactly right way to go about it, but something must be done SOON, for it will only get worse.

I know how you feel-I have to listen to music and meditate. [I'm improving-I used to scream, and still do sometimes, and it is <i>very</I> therapeutic when the need arises.]

Running also helps me-it's very freeing. I only feel worse after I eat, personally, but for some people it's a necessity.

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Juxtapose
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quote:
Originally posted by Noemon:
Ever think about getting a punching bag and a pair of boxing gloves? You'd be able to pummel the thing until you collapsed, exhausted, without doing nearly as much damage to your hands.

When I was going to school, the university gym had a bag room. I miss that so much.
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Armoth
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Lisa, I have the same issue when it comes to getting focused about my learning. I have too much energy and not enough focus = the same place I was a year ago.

Read "7 Habits of Highly Effective People" by Stephen Covey. I always felt above "self help" but they had this in the bathroom at Yeshiva and the book changed my life. Or rather, I did, but through the book. It's easy to read and, if it helps, Orson Scott Card has a blurb in the front about how great it is...

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scifibum
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Lisa, you wrote my post.

*peers at screen*

Do I have multiple personalities?

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Tara
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quote:
Originally posted by scifibum:
Lisa, you wrote my post.

*peers at screen*

Do I have multiple personalities?

Ditto.
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Dobbie
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quote:
Originally posted by Noemon:
Ever think about getting a punching bag and a pair of boxing gloves? You'd be able to pummel the thing until you collapsed, exhausted, without doing nearly as much damage to your hands.

Or better yet, just getting the boxing gloves, then finding another woman who also has boxing gloves.
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Traceria
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quote:
Originally posted by Lisa:
I almost broke my hand punching a kitchen cabinet one day. It was harder than it looked.

But... I'm kind of afraid that if I start screaming, it's going to be awfully hard to get myself back under control.

People need to blow off steam (aka stress) in different ways. If you are a physical steam-blower-offer (technical term, you know), why not try some other activity? I like to slam doors - car doors, cabinet doors, front doors, etc. But if that's not available to me, a really good exercise sesson sometimes works. OR, if it works out, doing something like kicking a soccer ball against a wall as hard as possible or attempting to serve (tennis) really hard or whatever. You probably get the idea. [Dont Know] Worth a shot if you think it will help get some pressure off your chest.
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Sharpie
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quote:
Originally posted by Tara:
quote:
Originally posted by scifibum:
Lisa, you wrote my post.

*peers at screen*

Do I have multiple personalities?

Ditto.
Ditto again.

In the past, I have found the punching bag method helpful. At the moment I have no punching bag. I do have the gloves. (They are pretty sexy, in my opinion.)

I think I have used the word "paralyzed" ten times this month. Aagh.

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