New Star Trek movie? New Star Trek toys. It's a fact of life, a universal constant, a law of brightly-colored, polypropylene nature.
"Thou shalt exalt every franchise movie, yea, unto the seventh generation, with a full line of toys, dishware, tie-in novels, comics, and commemorative plates, all of them limited-edition-collectible-first-run-mint artifacts to be treasured from a distance behind velvet ropes and saved for future generations to also not touch."
That's the way it's been for toys from Star Trek, Star Wars, and superheroes of all stripes for years now. Ever since some enterprising geek sold his pristine childhood memory for more than the one with chew marks and its head missing, new toys have been carefully removed from the peghooks at Walmart and Toys-R-Us and lovingly transported to their new and permanent home in a storage locker while the new owner enjoys the smug satisfaction of knowing it's there, somewhere.
I've never been a good collector. I open my stuff. I sort of always thought that was the point. When I was a kid if someone told me my toys were collectible I'd have thought they meant finding all the pieces again. Back in the 70s I asked for and received the original line of Star Trek dolls from Mego ($2.87 each, any two for $5.50), complete with vinyl-and-cardboard Bridge set ($12.97, with working transporter!). And I can guarantee that the crew of the Enterprise never had a more harrowing mission than the ones they experienced daily in my backyard.
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Damn, now I'm going to have to buy one of each of the main crew and six dozen of the "red shirt guy" action figures.
And, yeah, I'd probably would have a fortune in tools if my father hadn't introduced me to the screwdriver, power tools, high voltage and the dangers of fire.
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