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Author Topic: Depression
Vash2382
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My name is Caleb and I suffer from clinical depression and I was curious about other peoples feelings on the disease and to hear about others who are dealing with this insidious disorder.

Thanx
Vash2382

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Christy
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Welcome Caleb. That's quite an introduction, there. I'm sure there's much more to know about you than your depression, although I'm also sure you'll find an equal number of people willing to talk with you about it. What brought you to Hatrack?
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mackillian
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It sucks. *pat pat*
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Christy
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mack: *snort*
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asQmh
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Snorting Mack has GOT to be bad for you.

And probably illegal.

Q.

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mackillian
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Though I've heard it's good for depression...

(Vash, don't let my flippant attitude fool you. I work in mental health and also have a mental illness. But seriously, it all boils down to suckiness.)

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Zotto!
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What Mack said. [Frown] *goes off to the hug thread* <<which helps, a surprising amount of the time.

[ August 08, 2003, 03:20 AM: Message edited by: Zotto! ]

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Xavier
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quote:
My name is Caleb and I suffer from clinical depression and I was curious about other peoples feelings on the disease and to hear about others who are dealing with this insidious disorder.
Wow, there's another Caleb here? How common is that name?

Anyway, I was never diagnosed with depression, but I'm fairly confident to say I had it prety bad the last couple years.

I think a couple months ago I finally got better, but I can't say for sure. Last night I think I was about as bad as ever, but that was the first time in a long time.

Plus my coping strategy has always been to escape, and I do fear that I'm doing it more and more.

[Frown]

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Morbo
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Welcome to the forum.
Vash, I've been very depressed all year. [Frown]
I wish I had some magic coping strategy to lay on you, but I have nothing concrete for you.
Posting at HR has made me feel better, too soon to say how long that will last.
Good luck! I hope you feel better. [Wave] [Group Hug]

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Duragon C. Mikado
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Vash, get a cool screen name like Kenshin and you will cheer up. [Big Grin]
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filetted
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Vash vash bo bash
bonanna fanna fo fash
fi fy mo mash
Va-ash!

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Vash2382
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What brought me to hatrack well... [Hail] Orson Scott Card of course. He is simply the greatest writer I have ever had the honor of reading.

P.S. Thanks for your posts they do help. [Smile]
P.P.S Vash is a great screen name of course Vash the Stampeed sounds better but its longer than I want to type every time I log in. [Razz]

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Belle
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Hi Caleb. [Smile]

Welcome to Hatrack.

I also have clinical depression. I'm on meds and in therapy.

It's not easy to deal with, I'm sorry you're part of the hatrack depression family. But, we are glad you're here and sharing with us. [Smile]

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katharina
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((((((Vash))))))) <-- that's a Hatrack hug.

Seriously, there are many people who have gone through this. Many are still going through it. Others can speak more eloquently, but I do know that when you are depressed, its like being in a hole. You know there's a way out, but dang it, you're in the hole and it's dark.

Welcome to hatrack, though. This place is great. [Smile] ((((((((Vash)))))))))

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katharina
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How do I feel about it? It sucks. It's draining, and its life-affecting, and it should not be hidden. Maybe work doesn't need to know, but people who love you should know, and they should still care.
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Marek
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Hello Vash, I was wondering if the 2382 has some kind of signifigance, it has been a while since I've seen Trigun.

In any case welcome, good to meat you.

Also, am I the only one who is surprised to find out how big "the hatrack depression family" is? I've never been officialy diagnosed, but I think I'm part of that family too.

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Dan_raven
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Vash/Caleb welcome. Though I do not suffer from clinical depression I know some who do. It is very difficult.

Please stay on your medication and make sure you get good medical and psychological advice.

Xav--If you beleive you may be suffering from depression, visit a doctor/counselor/professional. The worst thing about mental health problems is that the one tool you have for dealing with lifes problems, your own mind, can not be trusted. You need the help of others.

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Ryuko
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I agree, get some help. Though depression has always been rather foreign to me, the bouts of it I've had over the years have been nigh-on unbearable.

For those of you who have to face it every day, and do so, I respect you. Don't give up.

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Xavier
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Thanks for the concern Dan, but I think I'm cool now. I've been pretty okay the last few months. I also think my upcoming move will be a step foward.
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Vash2382
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Marek to answer your question 2382 does have a significance but nothing realting to Trigun... its the day and month of my birth. [Wink]
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Vash2382
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day and YEAR... sorry [Roll Eyes]
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Vash2382
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Acctually I think that the reason the "Hatrack Depression Family" is so big because people with the dissorder are simply attracted to the way that OSC writes. Such as his eloquence in dealing with emotions and the sence of caring inherent {Spelling?} in all of his stories.

Whadda y'all think? [Confused]

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Ryuko
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(Doesn't agree)

Well, OSC doesn't exclusively attract the clinically depressed, as I am a fan. Have no clue as to whether it attracts the depressed at all, but I don't see anything in the writing that would suggest that to me.

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Vash2382
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I didn't mean that his attraction was exclusive I just think that depressed people tend to be more attracted to his work.
When one is depressed {I mean medicaly not just a case of the blues} we sometimes tend not to feel at all, sometimes people refer to this as being numb thats why self mutilation is so common among the clinicaly depressed because pain is the only thing that can be felt and I think that is why OSC is so attractive to the depressed because it can make us feel without having to harm ourselves.
Or at least thats what I think. Feel free to dissagree.

::Disclamer:: These are just my personal observations and ideas they are in no way based on scientific findings.

Vash

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Vash2382
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And I would guess that as someone who is depressed I am more able to see and articulate the attraction than someone who is not. (I assume that from the language in your post, Ryuko that you are not clinicaly depressed, correct me if I'm wrong)
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Ryuko
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(is not)

Sorry if I came off callous, I wasn't sure what you meant. It's an interesting idea... I guess I hadn't thought of it in that way.

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Vash2382
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Don't worry I'm easy [Wink]
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Vash2382
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BTW I appologize if any angst is dettected in my posts some times I sound like that with out meaning to.
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Ryuko
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OH, you're easy, eh? [Wink]
[Evil Laugh]

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Marek
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Well Vash your logic sounds pretty good to me too. I always figured the attraction for those who are depressed, clinically or temporarily, was partly from the fact that Card makes such realistic worlds in his books that is easy to get lost in them, and escape your own life for a while.
Another reason could be that his characters are easy to relate to; Ender even goes through fits of depression in Ender's Game. Don Lark is depressed and has come close to suicide at the start of Homebody. Quentin Fears is depressed and alone, despite being rich, and smart.
I kind of think that in my case (I know my own experience isn't a solid basis for a general statement, but I'm the only person who's experience I have) at least it is because I am board, and would like to be walking through the woods and find a sleeping princess on a pedestal (event though I could never jump the pit). Also his characters matter, I don', and I would like to. His characters save the world, and change it, even if no one knows they did (like Quentin), some of them are rulers, others are great writers, and I would like to be a great writer. Their words become scripture, their lives become history, and they become legends. I think is also why I and many of my friends, who are not necesarily depressed but are at least very unhappy with their lives, get so into anime, the characters have real power and real purpose wich we would like to have.
Card's characters go from what we are to what we want to be, and when they get there they are still the same person, what could be more attractive in a story than that?
The stories give a taste of adventure, emotion, and a chance to be a part of something and more important than the everyday normal world, a world which some of us are very uncomfortable in.

P.S. Vash that is cool about the birthday thing, I just figured it was to high a number to be your age.
P.P.S. sorry to take so long to post, I tried to a while ago, but I have been having technical problems all day.

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Marek
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Also thanks for the explanations of self mutilation;
quote:
self mutilation is so common among the clinicaly depressed because pain is the only thing that can be felt
I always wondered about the root of that, it also explains my fascintaion with the quotes;
quote:
When everything feels like the movies you bleed just to know you're alive
- The Goo Goo Dolls (Iris)

and
quote:
Pain is just natures way of saying, Hey! You're Alive!
- Xena

So I can definately see the apeal of books that let you feel the full range of emotons as strongly as the ones Card writes.

Yeah I know, I quoted Xena, but even it's wtiters had their moments.

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Zotto!
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Vash: I agree with you, as far as the whole "OSC appeals to depressed people" thing goes...and I also vehemently agree that it is not limited to depressed people. I haven't been clinically diagnosed, but I certainly FEEL depressed a lot of the time, and OSC's books ('specially Songmaster, Worthing Saga, Hart's Hope, Ender's Game, and the Alvin series) have helped me TREMENDOUSLY in dealing with it. I'm not sure that I read his books to escape , though...I think it has more to do with the fact that (to me, at least) Card's work acts as a way to clarify my thoughts; in other words, he writes about moral concerns, and through the interplay of the characters and the way the story goes, I am forced to think and consider things that I (probably) wouldn't have otherwise. I'm forced to think about the REASONS for everything...the causal relationship between things...basically, about WHY things matter. It gives me a kind of hope, and while the conclusions I reach from my extrapolations are mine alone (and most likely different from the conclusions that someone else would come to after being exposed to the same material), the fact is that it was Card's work that got me to think about it in the first place. I find a lot of power, passion, and grace in OSC's writing...and for some reason, thinking about it gives me a kind of hope, makes me feel better about the world.

Erm...I'm not sure if any of that made any sense. I tried, at least! [Big Grin]

Anyhoo, I hope you feel better! [Smile]

[ August 09, 2003, 01:11 AM: Message edited by: Zotto! ]

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MarekAgain
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A pretty good thread on depression
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