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Author Topic: Paul Walker died
Jeff C.
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I just read the news. He was on his way to a charity event when he and his friend were killed in a car accident. He was 40.

How crazy is that? I mean, you kind of expect the older guys to go, or maybe a drug addict or whatever, but he was just driving along on his way to this charity thing.

I guess it's just a reminder that we can all go at any time.

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Samprimary
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He wasn't even driving. He was a passenger. Whoever was driving apparently lost control and wrapped it around a tree or something. If the impact didn't kill them, the fire made sure of it, if the pictures that are EVERYWHERE are any indication.

He leaves behind a teenage kid, was out doing charity stuff for the victims of haiyan, all tragic, 2fast2furious, etc

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Lyrhawn
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It's tragic, especially since he leaves a kid behind.

Though I'm not nearly as affected as I was when Cory Monteith died. Maybe it's because Walker is ten years older than I am.

Still, sad, and a total surprise.

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BlackBlade
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It's a really sad development. I hope I never live to see the day my father dies.
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The Black Pearl
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Yup, sad. I kinda wish the internet won't have a meme going for years, but it will. Not that good an actor, but I liked the fast franchise. Fast V is one of my favorite action movies.

[ December 01, 2013, 04:54 AM: Message edited by: umberhulk ]

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Wingracer
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Really a shame but that's what happens when lightweight supercar + public road + inexperienced showboat driver meats telephone pole.

Edit for correction: Apparently Rodas (the driver) was a fairly experienced racer.

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Stone_Wolf_
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quote:
Originally posted by BlackBlade:
It's a really sad development. I hope I never live to see the day my father dies.

I'm sorry but this comment really rubs me the wrong way. It is horribly sad (I imagine) to lose a parent, but almost everyone must go throu it eventually. But to lose a child...I simply can not imagine the anguish. And to wish that upon your own father...
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BlackBlade
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quote:
Originally posted by Stone_Wolf_:
quote:
Originally posted by BlackBlade:
It's a really sad development. I hope I never live to see the day my father dies.

I'm sorry but this comment really rubs me the wrong way. It is horribly sad (I imagine) to lose a parent, but almost everyone must go throu it eventually. But to lose a child...I simply can not imagine the anguish. And to wish that upon your own father...
I figured somebody might feel this way. I'm not wishing anguish on my father. I'm actually hoping one of the following things happens.

1: I'm one of those dudes who hits 70 or thereabouts, while my father (fitness junky that he is) manages to keep ticking until 100. I figure by then we'll basically be just two old dudes who both had a good run. Were either of us to die then, I'd be more at peace with it.

2: They figure out how to stop death by old age permanently.

3: My father and I die in the same instant.

I have no desire that my dad put me in the ground, but I also have no desire to be without him.

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The Black Pearl
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It would probably be worse to lose your father as a teenager, then to be a father and lose a middle aged son.
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Stephan
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quote:
Originally posted by umberhulk:
It would probably be worse to lose your father as a teenager, then to be a father and lose a middle aged son.

I disagree. Children are a lot more adaptable than adults.
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The Black Pearl
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They can't be very good at being adults then.
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BlackBlade
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>.<

This isn't going to end well.

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Jeff C.
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quote:
Originally posted by Stephan:
quote:
Originally posted by umberhulk:
It would probably be worse to lose your father as a teenager, then to be a father and lose a middle aged son.

I disagree. Children are a lot more adaptable than adults.
Depends on the age of the child. If it's a teenager, they're going to have a harder time of it. If it's a small child, then sure.
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Stone_Wolf_
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My father and I have always gotten along, not really because we have such a great relationship (we kinda did) but more because my father is basically disingenuine. Not just with me, but really with everyone, likely himself most of all. I've always just kinda accepted whatever he was capable to give.

But now we had a falling out. He told me tge last time I saw him face to face that he had high blood pressure that made male nurses gasp in shock.

I started getting on him to take care of it as hbp is uber bad for you and can kill or debilitate you. He took it poorly but each time promised to get it taken care of, and each time didn't. So I kept at him. Til he started blowing up at me on the phone, screaming obscenities and hanging up.

I basically cut him out of my life until such time as he stops volenteering to die of stupidity and laziness.

The hard part for me is what do I do when he finally takes care of himself...I'm not cool with the abuse nor the disregard he shows for his health.

What makes it worse is my grandmother who seems to think it's my fault for "upsetting him". She is 83 but still...she's not your average granny...she goes around the country preforming and signing autographs.

Long story short I just don't think I want him back in my life at this point.

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Xavier
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quote:
The hard part for me is what do I do when he finally takes care of himself...
As someone whose own parents died at ages 43 and 49, I have doubts that this is going to be the 'hard part'.

My own advice would be to consider the possibility that he won't be able to pull off the necessary lifestyle changes, and whether you want your last interactions with him to be angry ones.

But that's my own perspective on such matters. Maybe my perceptions are skewed from my experience in losing my parents.

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Stone_Wolf_
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Well here's hoping that will be the hard part.

As much as I struggling with anger and frustraition, I certainly want the best for him. Heck, if I didn't care then I could have just maintained the status quo.

I truly believe that when push comes to shove adults must either accept each other's choices or not. I can not be a party to his risking his life because he is too lazy to go see an MD. I tried my darndest to influence his choice, but in the end all I can do is make my feelings clear and bow out.

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scifibum
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Changing is hard. Changing other people might as well be impossible.

quote:
Long story short I just don't think I want him back in my life at this point.
But if you've reached that point then I suppose the question is settled.
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Tuukka
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quote:
Originally posted by Jeff C.:
quote:
Originally posted by Stephan:
quote:
Originally posted by umberhulk:
It would probably be worse to lose your father as a teenager, then to be a father and lose a middle aged son.

I disagree. Children are a lot more adaptable than adults.
Depends on the age of the child. If it's a teenager, they're going to have a harder time of it. If it's a small child, then sure.
The absolute worst case scenario is losing your parent, particularly mother, during the first years of childhood. Especially if it happens during the first four years, because you're on crucial stages of development then. Children might *seem* like they are good at adapting, because they are little adapter-machines. They adapt even to most extreme, continuous terror. Children who are repeatedly sexually and physically assaulted, still display innocent joy when they are playing with other kids.

But while they have adapted, it doesn't mean they are okay. The traumas are going to affect them for the rest of their lives.

Teenagers and adults have far better, *real* coping skills.

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AchillesHeel
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I honestly couldn't t care less about Paul Walker in comparison to all the other humans I have never met who die all the time. I've been really surprised by how varied medias have given his death so much respect and concern.

But guess what makes me really not care about his death?

At thirty-three he was sniping teenagers. Classy guy.

The write-up.

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Tuukka
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They also continued their relationship for the next 7 years, until Walker's death.

Age of consent is 16 in my home country, so I don't really have a big issue with their relationship. It does feel weird for a 33-year old to date a 16-year old, but I acknowledge that it's my own cultural conditioning talking. Objectively, I don't see any harm done in this case.

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Wingracer
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This was many years ago but I had a friend, 34 years old, that started showing up at the track (we were kart racers) with this beautiful young blonde. Though she was young, I didn't think much of it since she looked like she could be 21 or 22. Then one day he asked me to go with her to a Wendy's to get us all lunch since she only had a learners permit. Major red flags went up in my head. I know some people don't get their license until after they turn 18 so she could still be legal but combined with her youthful appearance, I became seriously concerned that I would be bailing him out of prison soon. So a few days later I went by his place to have a little talk.

Turns out she really was 15 years old, just a week away from her 16th birthday. I just about lost my mind I was so stunned. The crazy thing is, her parents knew all about it and were ENCOURAGING it. It seems she had been sleeping around with a long string of juvenile delinquents and they were only too happy to see her dating a respectable (if you can call him that) guy. He even had it in writing from them. After a few months, her parents moved out of state and took her with them putting an end to the relationship. I haven't had a whole lot of contact with him since. I'm still a little weirded out by the whole thing.

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Stephan
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quote:
Originally posted by Tuukka:
They also continued their relationship for the next 7 years, until Walker's death.

Age of consent is 16 in my home country, so I don't really have a big issue with their relationship. It does feel weird for a 33-year old to date a 16-year old, but I acknowledge that it's my own cultural conditioning talking. Objectively, I don't see any harm done in this case.

While emotions are developed by age 5, logic is not until 25.

http://www.examiner.com/article/a-child-s-brain-fully-develops-by-age-25

He was taking complete advantage of an immature child. He chose to date a child. It is disgusting.

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Tuukka
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quote:
Originally posted by Stephan:
quote:
Originally posted by Tuukka:
They also continued their relationship for the next 7 years, until Walker's death.

Age of consent is 16 in my home country, so I don't really have a big issue with their relationship. It does feel weird for a 33-year old to date a 16-year old, but I acknowledge that it's my own cultural conditioning talking. Objectively, I don't see any harm done in this case.

While emotions are developed by age 5, logic is not until 25.

http://www.examiner.com/article/a-child-s-brain-fully-develops-by-age-25

He was taking complete advantage of an immature child. He chose to date a child. It is disgusting.

So should we make it illegal to date under 25-year olds, because their logic isn't yet fully developed? I can't wrap my brain around that.

Regardless, a 16-year old isn't a child. She's a late teen. Which is quite different from being a child. Equating people on their late teens with children is counter-productive. It actually makes fighting child abuse more difficult, because terms get confused. And that works in favor of people who want to abuse children - They want the terms to be confused.

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Bella Bee
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It does sound like he was dating other people during the time they were 'together´, as other recent ex-girlfriends have also come out of the woodwork.

Not sure what to think, really. I guess since he wasn't in a position of authority like a teacher or something, it's not as exploitative as a lot of these kinds of relationships. On the other hand, it's illegal, so he should have waited the extra two years. Because 16 doesn't look like a baby, it's not paedophilia, but mentally 16 year old girls are terribly young.

On an imaginary third hand, I can't imagine any sixteen year old girl turning a gorgeous, rich, exiting movie star down, I bet she was thrilled and is now pretty devastated. I had a friend when we were that age who was dating a thirty-four year old lawyer, and we all thought it was weird but totally cool. This in no way makes his behaviour ok. He was the one who was supposed to know better.

A real shame that he died though. Whatever he was, he was also a son and a dad.

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AchillesHeel
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The word is hebephilia, attraction to teenage persons.

There is nothing equal or fair about a grown adult, and an adult in progress. We all knew that guy. The one who dated freshman when he was a senior. Who was hanging out with high schoolers when he was twenty-one. Who didn't seem to pursue women whom he didn't have a societal edge over. I don't care if Walker was in some dudebro movies. He, and Elvis along with Woody Allen are just plain creepy. I'm respecting the ToS, and I will continue to do so by not saying what else I would like to say on the matter.

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Stone_Wolf_
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33 with 16 is creapy. Senior with freshman? Could be, also might not be. I happen to be 4.5 years older than my wife. And lets face it guys, most girls mature (emotionally) faster than guys.
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Dan_Frank
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quote:
Originally posted by Stephan:
quote:
Originally posted by Tuukka:
They also continued their relationship for the next 7 years, until Walker's death.

Age of consent is 16 in my home country, so I don't really have a big issue with their relationship. It does feel weird for a 33-year old to date a 16-year old, but I acknowledge that it's my own cultural conditioning talking. Objectively, I don't see any harm done in this case.

While emotions are developed by age 5, logic is not until 25.

http://www.examiner.com/article/a-child-s-brain-fully-develops-by-age-25

He was taking complete advantage of an immature child. He chose to date a child. It is disgusting.

You're attempting to dehumanize anyone under 25. I find that way more disgusting than a consensual relationship between people from different walks of life.

To the extent the relationship is weird, I'd say it's because one wonders what they had in common due to the aforementioned different walks of life. But I don't think it's really substantially weirder than a relationship between, say, an intensely career driven 25 year old and a 25 year old gamer couch potato.

[ December 03, 2013, 10:22 PM: Message edited by: Dan_Frank ]

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Jeff C.
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If he had just been screwing her and jumping around to other women, it would be one thing, but they dated for 7 years. There's obviously more to it than that.

Still, that age difference is off-putting, but it could just be our modern sensibilities. Fifty years ago, this kind of thing was pretty common, and still is in many other countries. That doesn't mean it's right, mind you, but there you go.

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