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Author Topic: Passive/Active Voice
JOHN
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I don't get it.

I don't understand how a person can tell someone to use "active" voice and then turn around and say too many sentences start out with the characters name or the pronoun.

Doesn't it have to be one or the other?

Am I not understanding passive/active voice? (truth be told, I don't all together get it)

Personally, I think I'm suffering from the problem Ben Franklin described to Thomas Jefferson when the Continental Congress started cutting out huge chunks of the Declaration of Independence...

quote:
"I was sitting by Dr. Franklin, who perceived that I was not insensible to these mutilations. 'I have made it a rule,' said he, 'whenever in my power, to avoid becoming the draftsman of papers to be reviewed by a public body. I took my lesson from an incident, which I will relate to you. When I was a journeyman printer, one of my companions, an apprentice hatter, having served out his time, was about to open shop for himself. His first concern was to have a handsome sign-board, with a proper inscription. He composed it in these words, John Thompson, Hatter, makes and sells Hats for ready Money, with a figure of a hat subjoined. But he thought he would submit it to his friends for their amendments. The first he showed it to, thought the word hatter redundant, because followed by the words makes hats, which showed he was a hatter. It was struck out. The next observed, that the word makes might as well be omitted, because his customers would not care who made the hats; if good and to their mind, they would buy, by whomsoever made. He struck it out. A third said he thought the words for ready money were useless, as it was not the custom of the place to sell on credit. Every one, who purchased, expected to pay. They were parted with; and the inscription now stood, "John Thompson sells hats" "Sells hats?" says his next friend; "why, nobody will expect you to give them away. What then is the use of that word?" It was stricken out, and hats followed, the rather, as there was one painted on the board. So his inscription was reduced ultimately to John Thompson, with the figure of a hat subjoined."


JOHN!


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Christine
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John, I am afraid that you are completely misunderstanding active/passive voice. Let me attempt to clarify.

When a sentence is written in ACTIVE voice, the subject of the sentence performs the action.

John asked a question about active and passive voice.

John is the subject and asked is the action.

When a sentence is written in PASSIVE VOICE the subject of the sentence does not perform the action.

The question about active and passive voice was asked by John.

In this case, the subject of this sentence is the question and the action is asked, but John did the asking rather than the question.

But sentences can begin with many, many words and be structured in many, many ways. Let us observe:

Since John was confused about active and passive voice, he asked for help.

Now we have a more complex sentence, but written in entirely active voice. The subject, John, is both confused and asks...two actions in the same sentence both active because the subject performs them.

Or try this on for size:

Confusion abounds when it comes to active voice so it is nice that John asked about it for the benefit of all.

Now we have two actions again: abounds...the subject, confusion, performs that action. People and sentient beings are not the only things that peform actions. Bells ring, mud flies, and cheese molds. It all depends upon how you phrase the sentence. Also, John asked.

And yet another example:

Asking questions helps everyone.

Now we begin the sentence with a verb and still it is active voice! The action in *helps* and the subject is asking questions.

Now let's consider more passive voice sentence, many of which can also begin with a pronoun or noun:

Those confused about passive voice waited for their question to be asked by John.

Those confused about passive voice waited...this is active...BUT then the question is asked by John rather than John asking a question.

Does this help at all?


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JOHN
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Yes, that helps quite a bit. So, if I said

"With a renewed sense of urgency, she went back to the mirror and hurriedly started putting on her mascara."

that would be active---right?

Passive would be,

"With a renewed sense of urgency, she went back to the mirror and put on her masscara hurriedly."

Or something like that.

I don't know. I think I'm more concerend about how the sentances flow or if they're awkward or not rather than this voice or that...

JOHN!

[This message has been edited by JOHN (edited January 24, 2005).]


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EricJamesStone
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quote:
Passive would be,

"With a renewed sense of urgency, she went back to the mirror and put on her masscara hurriedly."



Nope, that's still active voice.

"She" is the subject, and she is the one performing the actions of going back to the mirror and putting on her mascara.

Now this would be passive:
Her mascara was put on hurriedly.

"Her mascara" is the subject of the sentence, but her mascara is not performing any actions; it is being acted upon.


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Christine
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Never mind, ERic beat me to it.

[This message has been edited by Christine (edited January 24, 2005).]


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JOHN
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Who would write that way???? I think it's very easy to write in active voice, and looking over some of my work I don't see a big problem with slipping into passive...

Hmmmm. It's something to keep in mind I guess.


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EricJamesStone
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Many things are written that way. Passive voice is used too often. Some writers can be led astray if they are confused by the distinctions between active and passive voice.

The passive voice was used for every sentence in this reply.


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Christine
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Ahhh, an astute observation, John.

And here comes the real problem with active/passive voice: critiquers fling it around thinking they know what they're talking about when they don't have a clue.

It is fortunate for me that I know precisely what active and passive voice are and can identify it 99.9% of the time because I have been told that my sentences were passive when they weren't. Often, they see the verb "to be" and remember a vague rule of thumb that claims that such sentences are passive. Many passive voice sentences employ "to be" but the reverse is not true. Most sentences with "to be" are not passive. It is a logical fallacy.

To be fair, there are examples of passive voice that are more subtle. I employ passive voice conscioussly and purposefully on ocassion. Try this sentence out for size:

Two years ago, Mark was arrested for possession.

The action here is arrested, but Mark did not do the arresting. He is the target of the arrest. Implicit here is that a cop arrested him, but unless that cop is important to the story I would never write this sentence in an active manner.

In fact, with all the style and grammar problems I have seen lurking around these boards, active and passive voice is at the bottom of the list, though people have been culled into thinking they have that problem in their writing. I have almost never seen it, and when I do it is usually in a valid instance like that of the sentence above.

Keep on writing, and unless someone who knows what they're talking about tell syou that you have a passive voice problem, ignore them.


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ChrisOwens
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I got scared out of the passive voice and all 'to be' verbs as a consequence. Thus in my effort to expunge 'to be' verbs, everything came out ackward. Even though I now know 'to be' verbs are not nessacrily passive, I still have an irrational fear of using them for some reason.
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JOHN
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quote:
Two years ago, Mark was arrested for possession.

Yeah, I TOTALLY don’t get it. Christine, you’re sentence about Mark sounds great and the use of passive voice (I’ll take your word for it) is fine.

quote:
Many things are written that way. Passive voice is used too often. Some writers can be led astray if they are confused by the distinctions between active and passive voice.
The passive voice was used for every sentence in this reply.


This confuses and baffles me as I see no other way to write these sentences. I mean, I don’t see anything “wrong” with them.

“Many things are written that way.”

Things is your subject and written is your verb---how else can you do it. There’s no way to rewrite this sentence coherently. Unless you consider Yoda-Speak coherent. “Many things written that way are.”

“Passive voice is often used.”

Again, Yoda-Speak is the only way to change this.

“Some writers can be led astray if they are confused by the distinctions between active and passive voice.”

“If they are confused by the distinctions between active and passive voice, some writers can be led astray.”

I guess that’s a little better.
Nope. Definitely don’t get.

“The passive voice was used for every sentence in this reply.”

Now this one I might get as it sounds clunky.
“Every sentence in this reply was written in the passive voice.” Sounds better, but I couldn’t tell you if it’s passive or whatever.

Nope, from here on out I’m in no way, shape, or form concerned about this. I think people are trying to take a formularized approach to writing and I don’t think it works. Writing is a right-brained activity to me, and if I wanted to do otherwise, I'd be a mathematician.

JOHN!

[This message has been edited by JOHN (edited January 24, 2005).]


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Christine
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"Many things are written that way. Passive voice is used too often. Some writers can be led astray if they are confused by the distinctions between active and passive voice."

Let me help you by rewriting this in active voice:

People write many things that way. They use passive voice too often. Confusion by the distinctions between active and passive voice has led many writers astray.


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Beth
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Authors often write that way. Writers use passive voice too often. The distinction between active and passive voice confuses some writers, and leads them astray. Eric used the passive voice for every sentence in his reply.
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Beth
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Christine and I were thinking along the same lines, but she thought faster!
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Christine
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By the way, you *should* know the different between active and passive voice. I did not mean to belittle it, though I do not think it comes up as often in writing as others do. If you are a writer you should understand these basic stylistic terms if, for no other reason, you can know for sure if you are guilty of using them.
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JOHN
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I'll keep looking into it, but I think if your narractive flows and isn't awakward it shouldn't make a difference.

Again, I'll study it and try my damnedest to figure it out. It's just not clicking for me right now, though I must admit I'm in a state of morbid depression after the sorry, sorry football game me beloved Steelers played last night..


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Kathleen Dalton Woodbury
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John, if you look at a sentence and can't tell from the words WHO performed the action, you are looking at one kind of passive sentence.

quote:
Mistakes were made.

Another clue to help you recognize a passive sentence is the word "by."

quote:
The man was bitten by the dog.

Again, if you ask WHO performed the action in the sentence, you will see that it was not the man, even though the man is the subject of the sentence.

True passive voice messes with the way the actor/performer of the action is referred to.

As Christine said, too many critiquers see "was" and think that means the sentence is passive. They are WRONG. The sentence may be STATIC (not moving), but it is not passive in the sense of "passive voice."

There are two opposites for "active" in word usage: "passive" (messes with the way the sentence tells you WHO performed the action) and "static" (nothing is moving, it's just sitting there being described).


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Netstorm2k
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THANK YOU!
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Netstorm2k
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Netstorm2k
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Since I have an opinion on nearly everything, I will share mine on this subject.

I think if an author is sitting at his/her/it's desk, typing away on a story, and stops at every sentence to say, "Hmm, is this considered passive by people?" then said author is going to end up awkward, confused, frustrated, and crying hysterically.
Better to just let the words flow where they may, deal with it later, and remember that everyone's a critic. As so often happens, a writer is always going to see the flaws in his/her/it's piece far more painfully than anyone else. So don't worry about that stuff when you're writing it - just. get. it. done.

Then worry about whether the noun is subject to the verb, or vice versa, or whether it just sounds right the way it is. But for God's sakes, do it for yourself, and be your own final judge of what's right for your story.

Otherwise, you might as well be a plumber.


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Survivor
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Oh...I think you should very much better not be a plumber if you can't do it yourself.

I just want to throw in the notion that what Ben Franklin described wasn't a problem so much as an example of what a blessing an army of critics can be. After all, which sign is better, "John Thompson, Hatter, makes and sells Hats for ready Money, _|#|_" or "John Thompson _|#|_" (assuming that I had drawn a good picture of a hat, of course)?

Naturally, I would have it be "John Thompson, Hatter _|#|_", but one version is closer than the other. And that version was created by the unbridled enthusiasm of his friends' ammendments.


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Kolona
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quote:
Since John was confused about active and passive voice, he asked for help.

The subject here is actually 'he' not 'John.'

quote:
Asking questions helps everyone.

I almost hate to mention this after the diagramming thread, but 'Asking' here is a verbal, specifically a gerund, a verb acting as a noun. The true verb here is 'helps.'

Passive voice isn't always a problem. Sometimes it's good for tone, flow, sentence variation or whatever. It should be used super sparingly though, unless you're writing in venues in which it's standard practice, like textbooks, instruction manuals and some scholarly papers. Creative writing is stronger written in active voice.


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Christine
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"I almost hate to mention this after the diagramming thread, but 'Asking' here is a verbal, specifically a gerund, a verb acting as a noun. The true verb here is 'helps.'"

I said that "helps" was the action (wihich you should have interpreted as meaning verb) and that "asking questions" was the subject. As this thread is about active and passive voice and not about gerunds this observation felt entirely like snobbery. By the way, "asking" in this case does not function as a noun by itself...it is a subject compliment. In either case, a verb acting as a subject, subject compliment, prepositional object, or part of a gerund phrase is still, at its heart, a verb. For a gerund is a "VERB acting as a _______"

[This message has been edited by Christine (edited January 25, 2005).]


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Netstorm2k
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*Sighs*
Says the toymaker to his wife,
"The toys have been at the lock again, dear."

[This message has been edited by Netstorm2k (edited January 25, 2005).]


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JOHN
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quote:
I just want to throw in the notion that what Ben Franklin described wasn't a problem so much as an example of what a blessing an army of critics can be. After all, which sign is better, "John Thompson, Hatter, makes and sells Hats for ready Money, _|#|_" or "John Thompson _|#|_" (assuming that I had drawn a good picture of a hat, of course)?

Naturally, I would have it be "John Thompson, Hatter _|#|_", but one version is closer than the other. And that version was created by the unbridled enthusiasm of his friends' ammendments.


That's funny. I guess it just depends on your point of view. I always saw it in a negative light. Especially, since Ben Franklin says he wouldn't ever write anything for public scrutiny, and I know Thomas Jefferson wasn't found of the changes made to his original declaration...


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Kolona
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quote:
As this thread is about active and passive voice and not about gerunds this observation felt entirely like snobbery.

Come on, Christine. If I had wanted to be snobby I could have said "It is fortunate for me that I know precisely what active and passive voice are and can identify it 99.9% of the time." I gave you a pass on that. I think you could have done the same for any mistaken impression you got.

But I forgive you, because I'm just that kind of person.

"Asking questions helps everyone."

Active and passive voice have everything to do with verbs, so identifying verbs is critical. With 'Asking' being a gerund, I felt it necessary to comment because you incorrectly wrote, "Now we begin the sentence with a verb and still it is active voice!" Yes, you also wrote 'helps' was the action, but interpreting that as the verb, as you suggest we should have done, would suggest there are two verbs in the sentence, which I thought was confusing the issue. Confusion is basically what verbals cause and so need some caution.

When we speak of the verb of a sentence, we speak of the action, the predicate. If there are two or more verbs, a sentence is either compound or complex. It does not have a verb and a verbal.

A sentence with only a verb and a verbal is a simple sentence -- one subject/one predicate -- and the verbal cannot be the predicate. The one thing a verbal doesn't act like is the verb of a sentence. (Otherwise, it'd be a verb. ) It can be the subject or a lesser part of the sentence, but not the verb. No matter what they are "at heart," verbals are not considered the verbs of sentences.

quote:
By the way, "asking" in this case does not function as a noun by itself...it is a subject compliment.

First part, true. 'Asking questions' is the subject, the noun of the sentence, although 'Asking' could have functioned as a noun by itself:
Asking helps everyone.

However, it is not a subject complement. A subject complement, which can be a predicate noun or a predicate adjective, completes or complements the subject.
Tom was the leader.
'Leader' is the predicate noun. The noun and the predicate noun are basically interchangeable without changing the meaning of the sentence.
The leader was Tom.
Her name was Sue. Sue was her name.

With our sentence, "Asking questions helps everyone," 'Asking questions' isn't remotely interchangeable with 'everyone.' 'Everyone helps asking questions' means something entirely different.

Another clue: Subject complements take linking verbs. 'Helps' isn't a linking verb.

The sentence is basically a simple who/did/what:
Asking questions
helps
everyone.

(Diagrammed, it'd be on a little pedestal thingy with a hooked starting line, with 'asking' followed by a straight direct object separating line, then 'questions' as the direct object of 'asking.' That's the only nod to the verbal* ancestry of the gerund 'asking' -- its ability to have a direct object, but only within its little sphere of influence, not in the greater context of the heart or verb of the sentence.)

*meaning verb-related, not taking the place of a verb as one of the three types of verbals (This really can get confusing. )


[This message has been edited by Kolona (edited January 25, 2005).]


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Netstorm2k
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Good God!

It's like listening to a bunch of English teachers arguing a point at a grammar rodeo!

GO WRITE SOMETHING ALREADY!!

[This message has been edited by Netstorm2k (edited January 25, 2005).]


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Kolona
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I just did.
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Kolona
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quote:
As so often happens, a writer is always going to see the flaws in his/her/it's piece far more painfully than anyone else.

Would that were true. But as I have pointed out before, just like singers (?) on American Idol, writers too often don't see their flaws.


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Kathleen Dalton Woodbury
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quote:
writers too often don't see their flaws

And that's one of the reasons for the Hatrack River Writers Workshop, to provide a place where people can give and receive feedback on their and others' work. When you can learn to recognize the flaws in someone else's work, you have a better chance of learning to recognize those flaws in your own work.


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HSO
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quote:
When you can learn to recognize the flaws in someone else's work, you have a better chance of learning to recognize those flaws in your own work.

That's really Sphinx-like... He's one of the characters in Mystery Men. And blast it if I can remember any of the lines he said. But they were like this. (It's a good thing, don't worry.)


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EricJamesStone
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"When you can balance a tack hammer on your head, you can head off your foes with a balanced attack." --Sphinx
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HSO
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YES! Thanks, Eric.
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