I reread some of my older stuff lately, and man, it's pretty bad. I learned to show, not tell. I learned less is more, and subtlety is better than banging the reader over the head--but if you're too subtle, you lose the reader entirely.

I have a better sense now of what stories I like. I don't like whiz-bang, action packed openings. I like intriguing ones, those that hint at character and promise tantalizing conflict and tension. The ones I'm drawn to the strongest are those that show the greatest potential for emotional growth.

And I know I still have a loooong way to go, and in many ways I feel like I'm stuck in a rut right now. It's frustrating when I know how I want to write and what effect I want my words to have, but I just can't figure out how to do it then. I've been in a holding pattern for a year or so now. Usually this happens before a breakthrough can occur, so I'll keep on keeping on. Because I also know no matter how many times I get utterly frustrated because I can't string two words together in a way that makes sense, or disgusted at my work for being so infantile and unsophisticated, or depressed because I fear I'll never be as good as I want to be, I still find my way back to the empty page, or the blank screen.

So, here's to the writer, that peculiar creature that I aspire to be. And many thanks to KDW for her endless patience and diligence, and my deepest gratitude to OSC, for hosting this board.

While I stew here,
Brokenhearted,
Hardly started,
I dip in once again,
Study, wonder, ponder
What it takes to fit in
Over yonder.

I'm not pondering so much anymore. Round and round and through the labyrinth of story attributes I've been and back again. And I've figured out how high the bar is. I'm working on reaching it. It's in reach. My latest story leapt onto the page and accomplished what I set out to do. The next one is moving along swimmingly. And the novel that's languished while I figured it all out at last has a theme and a message that are informing the writing. I can taste the light at the end of the tunnel.

Until the beginning of June last year I had not written a single fiction story in my life. Ever. In fact this was mostly the reason why I had not started earlier. Everyone(OK not everyone, but enough people) I have looked at were saying they started writing from some early age or something like that. I had no idea how to establish POV(or why I should ever do it), how to do a revision, what to do when you finish a story and want to get it published. I can't even pretend and say I had read a lot of SF&F. I had, but looking back at the pile of books I have read last year it feels negligible.

I have written much less than I would want to and I usually am not really happy with the stuff I am writing.

quote:

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It's frustrating when I know how I want to write and what effect I want my words to have, but I just can't figure out how to do it then.

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I can't agree with you more on this annepin. Most of the time I am afraid to put my ideas on paper because I know I will be spoiling them. I have been resisting to start the novel that I have plotted for the last five years just because of that.

And last week I finally built up the courage to start a prequel to it. When I remember what I knew about writing last year, it seems so little. When I compare what I know now with what I need to learn, it seems so minuscule. But I still think all was worth it.

I am with you on the whole holding pattern thing. I have done the same myself and usually you do get a breakthrough. Sometimes, you have to force the issue.

I usually try and find some story I never quite wrote in the past because it wasn't a great idea and then try and turn it into a flash peice and write it the best I can.

With the pressure off (it will never be a good story) you can sometimes get yourself moving. Waiting for a breakthrough can be pretty intense and counter productive.

For me it's 3 years and this is post 1969, the year of the moon landing. Huzzah!

Yeah, wow, we won't talk about what my stories were like before I joined. For me, it was crucial that I had a safe place to come and share my writing, to get feedback that was honest but not cruel. And now I've learned so much, including many of the things that Anne listed, and I'm still learning.

Without this site, I wouldn't have two of my best stories, because they were started by challenges here. And I probably wouldn't have had my novel, because I started working on it at the urging of the Novel Support Group (and then it subsequently took over my life for a few months, as all good novels should). And I wouldn't have made a bunch of my good writer friends that I talk to all the time now, and who I've learned so much from.

I know my writing has improved enormously from the great comments and critiques I've gotten here. Things I never even thought of before coming here.

I am a reformed head hopper. Not to say that I stick to one POV through a whole novel, even now. But I do notice when I jump heads within a scene--and fix it.

I still fight the battle of the adverbs from time to time--alright, maybe more often than that.

I am much better about my dialog tags.

It's not the first thing I do in my writing, but I have gotten better about both giving more of my MC's POV more of the time and about giving supporting details to my scenes, at least some of the time.

I have actually written one short story that works. Which is huge for me, because all my stories just seem to want to grow.

Of course I wouldn't know what the heck to put INTO my self-study MFA program if it weren't for Hatrack (and to a lesser extent, Liberty Hall. Excellent writing site for serious writers, but a little different focus and draw, as well as lower posting volume.)

All the books on writing that I've come to live by, with one exception (though it's since been recommended here) have come from recommendations from here. I find myself teaching people about POV from both my learnings here and OSC's Character's and Viewpoints book. And boy does it bug me when books I'm reading (as the one I am in now) switch between a third person close and an omni POV - in the SAME PAGE, without even section breaks!

I'm much more judicious in my use of adverbs, and I get why I should be - they were a crutch to me before, and now they are a tool. Big difference between a crutch and a tool!

I've been inspired to write more, submit more, try harder, reach harder by my Hatrack friends. And I've been pleasantly surprised and happy to see that now that I've been here a while, and been writing a while (Icared, don't feel bad - I had never written before Jan 1, 2007. Other than journals and letters and whatever had been required in school. Didn't realize writing was interesting to me, until I actually started it and realized it was compelling beyond anything I could have imagined.) that I actually have the occasional bit of useful feedback for someone newer on the journey of writing.

Whoa! I'm still such a newbie, but it's rewarding to share some of what I've learned, and to still feel the encouragement and support of those who seem, to me at least, to be further along the writing journey than me.

I'm glad to have forged the friendships I have, to have gained the insights that I have, to have had the chance to introspect into my own life as a writer, truthfully to have become a writer through my involvement with Hatrack. Before this, I was just a person who likes to write.