I’m in a spot of trouble about how to begin. I wouldn't normally worry about it but this is my first time trying to establish a good 'hook', and I'm not sure which one works better.

So, forgive me if this seems disrespectful, but I’m going to post two different beginnings, and ask your opinions on them.

Number 1:

Dustin walked with his Dad to the garage. His father did not hold his hand, and Dustin had long given up trying to hold his fathers’ attention for more than the time it took his father to grunt a reply to whatever was on Dustin’s mind. His fathers mind was always away on other things when he was about to take off.
Dustin walked slowly, looking up at the back of his fathers neck. His father always walked with a purpose, with the unquestionable gait of a man used to live in zero gravity.
“How long this time?” Dustin said. A year ago it would have been a cheerful question, but
Dusting was thirteen, too old to be optimistic and too young to do anything about it.
“A while. Job’s have been scarce.” His father said. Dustin nodded, and then stopped walking. They were at the garage.
His father’s fingers danced on the keypad and the garage door opened with a slow groan. Inside, the lights reluctantly flickered on, and his father walked straight to his ship.

And behind door number 2:

“ The smell. That’s the first thing I remembered of that day.”
“ What kind of smell?”
“A sick smell, oil, blood, and tears. It’s a smell that’s never left me since the accident” Dustin said. He shuffled in his seat, staring down at the faded carpet.
“ Haven’t we been through this already?” He asked.
The doctor shook his head.
“ I’ve told you, Mr. Colvert, it’s best that we start with what you remember. It may help you to recall more of what happened.”
“ Sorry, I must’ve forgotten about that.” Dustin grinned. The doctor folded his arms, disapproval apparent.
“ You have to be serious about this, Dustin. We reconstructed the damaged part of your brain, but you have to remember what you can.”
Dustin did his best robot impression, mock-plugging a cord into the side of his head.
“ Recalling and storing data…now.” He said in monotone.
“ Really Dustin, your almost thirteen years old. Try to act like a young man.”
“Alright…”

Alright, the first thing that happened that day… I was walking with my dad to the garage. He didn’t hold my hand or anything cozy like that, and I didn’t exactly press the issue. My dad was always a little spacey when he was getting ready to go off on a trip.

My opinion on the first one is that nothing has really been happening, but in the second one you already know that something will go wrong. But I'm asking for your opinons, not mine.

Here's what I mean:

"Dustin walked with his Dad to the garage. His father did not hold his hand, and Dustin had long given up trying to hold his fathers’ attention for more than the time it took his father to grunt a reply to whatever was on Dustin’s mind. His fathers mind was always away on other things when he was about to take off."

Or

"Alright, the first thing that happened that day… I was walking with my dad to the garage. He didn’t hold my hand or anything cozy like that, and I didn’t exactly press the issue. My dad was always a little spacey when he was getting ready to go off on a trip."

I think the second 'feels' better? Opening the story up might be more of a challenge, but do you think the second would be better to tell the story from. I realize it might be hard to tell without knowing the whole story, but I don't have much to tell yet. :-/

Im confused. I assume you mean that if the reader will assume that since the person is telling the story, they must survive? I think we know that about almost any story we read, or movie we see. We know the hero survies this, but we still dont know how he does. Is that what you meant?

If you really like the second one, you could try using it as a pure dialogue vingette heading a reworked version of the first one. Only through "it's best that we start with what you remember." And pure dialogue meaning nothing but words in quotes.

For a better hook, try deepening the POV a bit. We really aren't in Dustin's head so much as we are occasionally getting explication about his relationship with his father.

Also, watch your syntax. There are a number of points in the text that simply don't mean anything as written. The reader is forced to take a bunch of words and rearrange them into a sensible whole...perhaps not the one you intend.

Just an idea.

"And one more thing. I want to know exactly what a person's gait looks like who is used to living in zero G. I am incredibly curious because I really liked that line, "...the unquestionable gait of a man used to life in zero gravity." This is a prime example of what I said above about first-person narrative. A thirteen-year-old kid would never put words together that beautifully. "

Would something like (I’m making it up right here) " My dad walked like he wasn't used to it, flopping around like a duck trying to get off the ground. It probably came from living on his ship most of the time, floating around, looking for the odd job. Why he couldn't do that planet side I didn't know, and he wasn't exactly willing to talk about it." work better? One of my problems writing that more specifically is I’m not sure what a person would look like if they were used to zero g. To me, i would think they would move deliberately, but maybe they glide smoothly, or move only a little bit at a time. I was hoping the readers would come up with their own conclusion.

Thanks for the comments guys, I’m really starting to get this nailed down thanks to you. Any more thoughts are always welcome.