Also, I just did a search on the name Morwen and realize it comes from Tolkien. This was unintentional and I may change it. I like it though.

Thanks!

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Even before the silver spikes of the settlement city jutted above the treetops, Morwen knew the shield was up. So, the Regional Governor didn’t even have enough class to make a display of respect for the delegation. Anger surged through her as she caught a warm updraft and glided above the forest, looking for more open displays of hostility. Strong hands pulled forcefully on the trailing folds of her state robes, bringing her once again below the canopy.

As my favorite novel project (though currently put on indefinite hold)deals with four foot tall winged humanoid aliens in an advanced, spacefaring society, I had better be able to sympathize with yours or bury my own novel project in a graveyard.

But the opening did not work at all for me. I had no idea what was going on. In fact, if you had not asked the questions about the creatures, I would not have known what Morwen looked like at all. As it is, I am still having trouble visualizing her. What kind of wings? Bird wings? Bat wings? Fairy wings?

I did ont follow the first paragraph because I hvae no reference point. It completely lost me when strong hands pulled her down....wasn't she above the treetops? How could they do that? (Keep in mind that at that point, I am imagining her on a handglider....we assume, to begin with, that our characters are human precisely. It is a challenge for those of us who are trying to describe a strange creature, especially in her own POV.)

In the second paragraph you make vague references to things I don't know about. The royal advisor plucked her out of the sky? That doesn't seem right. Then he talks about her task...but what task? What's going on?

There is a fine art to unwinding complex information and background and starting a story in such a way that a reader understands and sympathizes. An information dump at the beginning takes away from the sympathy part, but launcyhing into action with no information is problematic on the understanding front. The trick, IMO, is to find something in all of this that a reader in the modern world can understand and reatle to, something that is going on in their lives. I had a hint that Morwen was doing something she was not supposed to be doing...something she was not old enough to be doing. Is that true or am I completely lost on that one? We can understand teenage rebellion (even if you tell us that their teenagehood is older than ours). We can understand war and hate and love and lust.

But a shielded city in the trees is meaningless...it does not even tell us if you are writing science fiction or fantasy, because these concepts come up in both genres.

But otherwise, I think it is ok.

-BHJr-

Even before the silver spikes of the settlement city jutted above the treetops, Morwen knew the shield was up. So, the Regional Governor didn’t even have enough class to make a display of respect for the delegation. Anger surged through her as she caught a warm updraft and glided above the forest, looking for more open displays of hostility.

Oyy! So confusing! What does this all mean? What's happening? I can decipher, after rereading it, that there's some kind of shield, and some kind of Regional Governor behind it.

I suggest that you call it "the off-worlder city/settlement/colony" or something like that. Similarly, you might say "this 'Regional Governor', arbitrarily claiming lordship over so many worlds in the name of his distant emperor/president/Federation, didn't...", which makes it much clearer what a Regional Governor is.

It also seems clear that there is some difficulty with getting into Morwen's biology. I think that if you made it more explicit that her people are indigenous and the RG et al are the star-faring race, it would be easier for the readers to pick up on the fact that she is flying by some natural ability rather than any technology.

I will note that if the native technolgy is advanced enough for them to have air vehicles, then they would almost certainly be using them in this case, just as we don't walk long distances wearing formal clothing. Anything that a two-foot long creature can wear and still maintain flight isn't going to be very durable and inexpensive. I clearly got the impression that Morwen's people had very limited technological resources when it came to air transport and weapons.

For both your enumerated questions, the answer is no.

Thanks, I'll work on this.

If you specifically mention a vehicle in which she was riding (or perhaps weapons carried by the delegation's guards) that would help offset the tendancy to assume that her people lack such things.

I avoided the open display of weapons on the winged people's part because I want them to fight with mainly biological weapons and because their race wants to be as unlike humans as possible. Thus, all they would need is some kind of defense against human weapons.