posted
When I wrote this, I called it "Some Other Day" and everyone agreed that the title was awful. I'm striking out on new titles, so am turning to the treasure trove that is Hatrack. Here are the first thirteen lines to remind those of you who've read it of which story it is, and to give the rest of you an idea of tone.
--- The summer the mosquitoes died began as the best one in Josie Langdon's life. As she dived through the sprinkler in the front yard, the cold water pricked and sparkled as if someone had hung her aunt's beaded curtain upside down. Back in the hot sun, she gasped with laughter ready to turn and jump through the curtain again.
"Hey, Jo-bug!" Her dad walked up the sidewalk, home early from work.
"Daddy!" She hopped through the sprinkler and ran down the sidewalk, dancing as the hot concrete steamed against her feet.
He towered between her and the sun, giving her a spot of shade to shelter in. --- Possible titles
1. Some Other Day 2. Winged Victory 3. Memories of Her Father 4. The West Nile Intervention 5. Links of the Broken Chain
Please, please tell me that you guys have better ideas than I do.
posted
Just for the record, I think that it's hard to give a title to a short story without seeing it as a whole, since the title has to have a strong connection to the whole story arc. So I can't give you any additional ideas for titles. Of the five you mention, the one that most catches my attention is "Links of the Broken Chain".
Posts: 1075 | Registered: Sep 2004
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posted
I don't care if other people thought "Some Other Day" was a bad title. I think it's an excellent title. It is exactly the kind of thing that makes a good title: an unobtrusive, normal phrase taken out of context, magnified, and weighted with the tension of how the title corresponds to the story itself. The other title ideas seem overblown and pretentious.
Posts: 284 | Registered: Sep 2004
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posted
I like "Breaking the Chain" much better than "Links of the Broken Chain". It captures me almost as well as "West Nile Intervention" does. Almost.
posted
I don't know how sad I would be if all the mosquitoes suddenly died.
I like the title "Some Other Day", but I haven't read the whole story so it may not be the best choice.
"The West Nile Intervention" stuck out; it seems almost military-ish or something. Advesarial might be the better word . I'm not sure I really like it, but that could be because I'm a bit cynical about all the hoopla surrounding West Nile Virus. All that said, , this is the title that stands out from the list.
I forgot about ChrisOwens's suggestion. I kind of like it. It is a bit reminiscent. Also, it sounds a bit like a child's pov, or the way you would remember something that happened when you were younger.
[This message has been edited by Robyn_Hood (edited October 18, 2004).]
posted
My favorite is Links in a Broken Chain, but some have had odd disagreement with it.
I think West Nile Intervention is entirely too flippant for the tone of the piece.
Maybe just "Broken Chain"?
An odd dilemma in the chain idea, because in one sense your heroine is trying to fix a broken link in the food chain and in another sense she is trying to break the chain of the legacy her father left her. Still, she's trying to fix something that was broken there as well, I suppose.
posted
Broken Chain and Intervention are my current favorites. I guess I could mix it up and go for Intervention Chain. Or not, sounds like a bad band. Anway, thanks for the help. I'll let you know what sticks.
[This message has been edited by MaryRobinette (edited October 19, 2004).]
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, this is the title that stands out from the list.
