The first line is a decent hook, but the second descends into backstory (which doesn't progress the actual story, but stops to explain). The next paragraph becomes more telling than showing. I suggest...
At first--and this is probably because I haven't read much new fiction written from an omniscient viewpoint--I thought the bartender was the main character and wondered why you weren't using his name....
My first thought was "So be it," as extrinsic mentions above, because that is the definition of Amen. But that wasn't quite what you indicated. A few suggestions, take or leave: - Fashioned by Him -...
QUOTE: ----- Originally posted by mayflower988: QUOTE: ----- Originally posted by extrinsic: The woman getting up onto her knees before Orin stands up, though, breaks the closing distance (unsettled...
BTW, Q2 was my first ever entry. I successfully put it out of my mind these last few months, but now that rejections have started I'm all nervous again. Being my first entry, I had pretty much written...
I've gotta say it---the "original" of the Superman saga is found in Action Comics #1. Details are perfunctory (the origin story is just a couple of pages out of sixty-four, I gather), and sometimes just...
I like to read the introduction about the book and then I like to read the reviews and furthermore I like to read a preview. I am not one to like a lot of swearing in a book so in the store I will thumb...
I think that some work was simply best out doors does not need to be in the story, because it kind of throws me off the story. I do like the idea about the wand. I would like to find out why the wand...
I'm not sure if Joyce was literary genius, or rather, one has to be in the right state of ...imbalance... to appreciate him. If I'm in the mood it's fascinating; if not, it's horrid.
Did I say thanks? I did on my blog but I don't think I did here. Anyway, thanks to all. Some helped with turns of phrases and redoing sentences. One helped big time with nitpicks. Way too much work but...
QUOTE: ----- Originally posted by ForlornShadow: Thanks to you both. I do have a starting point EVOC, that was the easy part. I think the problem is I want to set up the story but also not bore people...
I'm looking to get ahead this quarter and I think the early deadlines here will help me with that. Count me in for this quarter. Also, Dr. Bob, I'm up for reading longer works. So feel free to send it...
E-mail this page
