Lol. Okay, fair enough. The first sentence started the whole thing for me. I came up with that and just went from there, so I feel a little attached to it. But if it's confusing, then it's no good, I'll have to change it.
As far as a hook is concerned, I'm not bothered about that at all. It's only the first 13 lines, so I don't think you need to start with.."The bullet went tearing through his flesh and Robin knew he was about to die," or whatever. A novel needs a build up. I like a slow start, with character and setting. If you're the kind of person who only reads the first 13 lines before deciding to buy a book, then I'm not bothered. I prefer integrity in the story rather than appealing to the short attention spanning masses. I don't want to be Dan Brown
For feedback, I'm more interested in flow. Did it read fairly easily? (apart from the first line). Did it begin to build a picture in your mind? Is the tense and prose correct?
Was there a point where you thought, Who? What? Where? Why? Or did you just read it through? Was it clear or confusing?
Thank you all for your feedback so far. I look forward to more critique
Edit: I was thinking a bit more about the hook. I will break the rules a bit and post the next line. Would adding something like this encourage you to read further? Does it spark deeper interest in the city?
The streets in this part of the city were always littered with resistance progaganda, and Robin found himself peeling a piece of satirical comic from his boot as he stumbled through the bustling crowd.
And then it scrathces the surface of the resistance a little, in minor detail, but hopefully enough to spark further interest. This is for those that wanted a better hook in the first 13.
Thank you all again for feedback, please continue to critique!
[This message has been edited by Snow Crash (edited November 13, 2008).]