I know this is an overwhelming request, but I'm looking for a dedicated reader who will look at a fantasy novel in progress. I've got ~20 chapters so far. I'm not necessarily looking for someone to stick with me to the (bitter) end (I'm not there yet), but I would like some feedback on the current pacing and plotting-- not line nits, but general "reading" nits. What YOU, the Reader, thinks about the story.Here's a sample (taken from the middle of Chp 2):
Thunder roared as she unlatched the door and pulled it open. Darkness blanketed the drenched, hulking figure, but when lightning flashed again, she recognized the silver crescent broach that secured his cloak and beckoned him in.
He stepped past her, dripping on her as he did. He pulled back the hood of his cloak, revealing wild unkempt hair and a scar running across his cheek and the bridge of his nose. “Relvik?” she asked.
He shrugged out of his cloak, holding it disdainfully away from him. “I used to be him. Now I’m just a drowned mongrel. Put me out of my misery.”
Terise laughed and, not caring that he was soaked all the way through to his skin, threw her arms around him. He returned her embrace, squeezing her once before pushing away. “I’m going to make you as miserable as me, if you’re not careful.”
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If anyone is interested, or wants to know more about the story before agreeing to help, just email me and let me know... or post here, whatever is easiest. I appreciate any help given!
[This message has been edited by SiliGurl (edited December 02, 2003).]
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