However, the narrative before and after that segement sometimes drags. It's hard to point out any particular sentences, as they all seem fine individually, but, for example,
Matthew crested the top of the last hill that lay between him and home. He dropped his fishing pole and the day’s catch beside the path, and gazed out over the meadow toward his village below. Even when he was late, and he often was, he always tried to spend a few minutes here to take in the beauty of this place.

I really am having trouble placing the exact problem, but it seems a little off. I think that if you varied sentence structure I little more, using both short and long, it could improve. Also try to compress. The problem may be (and again, I repeat I'm not sure of what it is exactly; only that I feel off) the narrative is too long winded.

Sorry for being vague.

Note added later:

I think it might be the usage of the word "and." And ( ), it could be the wording of he always tried to spend a few minutes here to take in the beauty of this place. , which feels off because "here" is out of place.

Matthew crested the top of the last hill that lay between him and home. Dropping his fishing pole along with the day's catch, he gazed out over the meadow toward his village below. Even when he was late, and he often was, he always tried to spend a few minutes there to take its beauty in.

For one thing, he's just been out fishing...with a pole. All forms of pole fishing are essentially leisure/sport...so it isn't just this one moment, on the hill overlooking his home, that Matthew can rest and take in the beauty of things. For another thing...he drops his catch and his pole on the ground. That's just odd.

But of course the big thing is that here he's supposedly relaxing and getting away from it all, and yet he seems to be spending most of his time thinking about how angry his father will supposedly be and supposedly always is.

I said 'supposedly' three times for a reason...because the degree to which his stated reasons, his actions, and his actual thoughts contradict each other make Matthew seem like a pretty unreliable POV character. I don't know whether this is intentional, but I suspect it is not.

If you want to indicate that Matthew is really trying to use this moment to banish his problems, then show him banishing them. If you want us to believe that he does this every time, then show us that he's at least a little bit skilled at it. Mention that his father will be furious once, and then let Matthew stop thinking about it. If he really can't stop thinking about it, then don't tell us that he isn't thinking about it...tell us straight out that he can't stop thinking about it.

And finally, give us a reason to believe that this moment is particularly special, or at least take away our reason for not believing that this moment would be particularly special...have him come from doing something difficult and dreary, not from a pole fishing expedition.

What survivor said makes sense, but IMO might be analysing it a little too in depth. Yes, fix any problems like this that can be easily fixed, but in a fragment of this size it is hard to get an understanding of the POV character and we can't expect it to happen instantly... just show us what he's doing to relax.

I've made some adjustments based on your suggestions, so you can have another go at it if you like.

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Matthew crested the top of the last hill that lay between him and home. He released his grip on the leather bag that was slung over his shoulder, letting it slide down his back. It struck the ground with a thud, spilling some of the wild potatoes he had spent the day foraging.

The sun was almost straight overhead, making this day like most others for him. He was tired, late, and his father was going to be furious. Even so, a few minutes rest at the top of the hill was worth whatever lecture he would receive. He gazed out over the meadow toward his village below. A gust of wind rushed toward him through the long grass, seeming to seek him out to fill his need. He closed his eyes and breathed it in as deeply as he could, letting the spring air refresh him before it fled past. When he opened his eyes he felt restored.

Sometimes he thought he would be trapped under his father’s will forever, and it was almost too much to bear. But other times, like now, the world was so full of life and power that it seemed like he could just walk away from here and start his own life, never looking back. Well, maybe that would happen someday, but today he had his duties. He reached down and grabbed the bag, hefting it over his shoulder, and started down the hill toward home.
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And the changes were so subtle, too...I'm going to resist any urge to suggest more tinkering.

Instead I'm going to point out some expectations that this opening raises in my head as a writer.

First off, this kid is destined to go adventuring. Second, the precipitating event is either going to be something happening to his father or some completely unjust act on his father's part. Third, a major driving force of this character is going to be the unresolved conflict with his father...I don't know if he resolves the conflict at the end of the story or not, but I wouldn't accept a resolution before the climax of the story.

It suggests a fruitful story, and one I'd like to read.

quote:

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Your initial text prose was fine, and if you can rewrite this good that fast, you can write. Go for it.

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The only specific complaint I have is that I dislike the part about the wind seeking him to fill his need. But that can be justified as part of his POV.

Anyway, besides for that, I would advise to shorten maybe one or two sentences.