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Mary, I hope you don't mind but you gave me the idea to try my hand at a 69-word short short short story. It is REALLY tough. What do y'all think?
I went ahead and deleted this because I, too, was worried about posting an entire story (no mattter how short) As it happens, I went ahead and submitted this to the contest Mary mentioned, so at this point advice won't really help me. Thanks everyone for your thoughts.
[This message has been edited by Christine (edited May 21, 2004).]
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That was great Christine.I admire your ability to boil everything down and still have a amusing story.It gave me an idea of how the 69 word story is suppose to work.
Posts: 397 | Registered: Mar 2004
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I liked it. It had the full arc of a plot, just in summary, with a smidge of detail.
I don't quite see how when 1 of the 13 became the killer, he could have fresh bloodlust to kill the first 5. It isn't fresh because their wasn't a first killing, just a transformation of sides, if you will.
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It read like poetry. Was that intentional? I thought it was a bit distracting (disjointed, kind of), although I liked the idea of the story.
Posts: 1621 | Registered: Apr 2002
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Well, Rahl, to be honest, I'm not sure there's any other way to make a story 69 words without sounding a little like poetry and a little disjointed. It was not intentional, though, no. I hate poetry with a passion, come to think of it. Posts: 3567 | Registered: May 2003
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It's a cool little story, Christine. I especially like the twist at the end.
As always, my criticism is offered on a take-it-if-it-works-for-you-and-ignore-it-if-it-doesn't basis.
The main concern I have with it is that it's very distant in tone, very much a "told" story. And it reads a bit too much like a sing-song poem, although perhaps it's the similarity to the poem in "And Then There Were None" that makes me feel that way.
When I write extremely short stories, rather than tell the whole story from the beginning, I start right before the end and imply the prior plot. That seems to work best if the story is meant to put a twist on the end of a fairly cliched main plot, which is what this story does.
Doing it that way allows you to show an actual (if short) scene, rather than just "telling" the story, and I think that might be more effective.
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Actually, I think it's a great exercise. My local paper had a similar sixty-word contest, which I now wish I had entered. I thought it impossible till I tried it after I read the published entries. They were awesome.
Trouble is, should anyone post their entries here? If the thirteen-word limit has to do with a fraction of the whole, then posting nano-fiction on site constitutes full publication. Either that or all we can do is publish one or two words.
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It is REALLY tough. What do y'all think?
