posted
Ok here is the deal. I know this is going to be more than thirteen lines but the first half page of story is poem and I dont think that is fair as to show what the story is about.
Also no one tell me how crappy the poem is, that is part of the story.
Here it is: my first decent post on this site.
****
Poet Tree
Across the open plains Grew many types of grains. Farmers plowed and toiled But nigh the grain did spoil.
With every day passing The grass grew less grassing. The farmers wept and wailed They gathered and journeyed to the dale.
The king looked down in up-stuck pity He scoured answers from the city. His guards swept the place To find the helpful face.
In a small cottage on hill They found a man named Phil. He could grow what he wanted with ease With his touch it would grow to please.
He lent his art to the fateful farmers. They thanked him quick with stormers He caused the grass to rise and grow green It grew like the farmer had never seen..
Now my far lord and knights and men It is time for Phil’s story to end....
At the end of his verse Rand bowed in a gorgeous motion. He looked up at the lord of the manor. The massive lips of the Baron curled up into a riotous smile. He soon burst into laughter. His massive bulk shook violently as he laughed. Behind him the whole of the court followed in a grand bellow. “Come now,” the Baron said through a chorttle, “You mean to tell me this is the latest of work of Rand the storyteller? Rand who has entertained almost every leader in the all of Europe with his tales, means to tell me that this plot-less tail of peasant farmers is your latest masterpiece?” Rand’s face burned as he stood tall against this attack. “It was well rhymed and metered. It followed all form, just as my others. It contai-” “Oh yes, rhyming is all fair and good. Of course lest we ask what the word grassing exactly means....”
I am going to post 13 lines after the poem and omit the poem. If you will read the whole thing I will include the poem.
So here it is:
**** (Rand has just given a poem that was not very good and kind of silly. It has a bunch of crappy rhymes and he used the made up word grassing.)
At the end of his verse Rand bowed in a gorgeous motion. He looked up at the lord of the manor. The massive lips of the Baron curled up into a riotous smile. He soon burst into laughter. His massive bulk shook violently as he laughed. Behind him the whole of the court followed in a grand bellow. “Come now,” the Baron said through laughter, “You mean to tell me this is the latest of work of Rand the storyteller? Rand who has entertained almost every leader in the all of Europe with his tales, means to tell me that this plot-less tail of peasant farmers is your latest masterpiece?” Rand’s face burned as he stood tall against this attack. “It was well rhymed and metered. It followed all form, just as my others. It contai-” “Oh yes, rhyming is all fair and good. Of course lest we ask what the word grassing exactly means....” “The greatest writers feel free to treat the language as clay to mold, shape and build as they will.” “Ahhh...yes, but do great writers not also produce great writing? And as for your dashing tale. I have never been entertained by the woes of peasant farmers. Who do you think occupy my dungeons?” Another burst of laughter from the ensemble followed this remark. Rand looked up at the Baron with all the hate he could muster. His face was scorched with burning tears. With his last ounce of pride he turned about and launched from the court. As he stormed away he heard the echo of failure fade behind him.
posted
The style kind of reminds me of The Princess Bride -- the book, not the movie. If that's the feel you're going for, you might want to start with some prose to set the scene for the poem (a comical description of Rand perhaps). Otherwise, people might not think it's supposed to be funny.
Other than that, I like it. I'll take a read. Word as an attachment preferred.
[This message has been edited by Keeley (edited August 06, 2004).]
posted
Figure about 250 words per page if the font is 12 point. So you probably have about 1000 words. I'll look if you want.
Posts: 497 | Registered: Jun 2004
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But I liked it better with the poem first--or at least part of it, maybe just a segment of it, then the Baron, totally disgusted at what he's hearing interrupts (the ulitmate shame for a has-been poet).
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