posted
In accordance with numerous requests to keep this opt-in challenge going on a monthly basis, I hereby set forth a new challenge for September 2004:
The challenge, if you don't already know, is to twist the story in one of four ways (the last as suggested by TruHero and Robyn Hood): *Twist the story to suit your own creative bent. And don't restrict yourselves to medieval pipers, rats, and children) *Write the story in the style of another well-known author. *Combine the tale with another tale of your choosing. *Write a 'What if...?" version. A prequel or sequel to the original tale.
2. Submit the first 13 lines of your final draft (at least 'final' as of the deadline)to this thread. If you want others to look at and critique for you, submit those rough-draft versions in your own F&F thread.
3. Anyone wanting to read a submitted story in its entirety may contact the writer by email. Do NOT post the request to read on this thread. Do NOT post comments of any kind on this thread. Post questions and comments on the thread in Open Discussions entitled "2nd Rewrite Discussion Zone"
posted
Well this idea came t ome very quickly... so here we go...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Trevor Hamelin looked out of the tinted windows on the city below, the newspaper in his hand crumpling. From here, he had a perfect view of New York; one he did not want to lose. He turned and threw the newspaper onto his desk, before sinking into his plush leather chair. Whatever it took, he was going to be re-elected mayor.
A knock on the door interrupted his thoughts. Theresa, his secretary entered, brushing her long dark hair back with one hand. “Mr. Keruski is here to see you, Mayor,” she declared, her nasal voice making him wince. He would have sacked her long ago if it were not for the fact she was the senator’s niece.
“Show me in and make sure we aren’t disturbed.”
Jim Keruski entered the room, his tailored black suit and Italian silk tie making him look more like a gigolo than the sharpest political mind in the country. But then it was one of Keruski’s tactics to make people underestimate him.
posted
This is one of two ideas I had for this challenge. If I have time, I plan to write up the other one too.
# of Words: just under 1400 Title: The Hamelin Gazette
------------- The Hamelin Gazette
The Hamelin Gazette is a weekly newspaper that services the town of Hamelin and the Weser River basin. It is published every Tuesday and has a circulation of 200. The following are the lead stories published during the month of June in the year of our Lord 1284.
**********
HAMELIN GAZETTE – Tuesday, June 5, 1284
Rats blamed for missing produce Arie Klostermann REPORTER
Local farmer Peter Piper has lost a peck of pickling peppers to the voracious appetites of the rats that are plaguing Hamelin.
Piper picked the peck (about 10 pounds) of his famous peppers last week with the intention of bringing them to market on Saturday.
“Friday night I done packed up the whole peck o’ peppers so as to be ready to go to market at first light. But come Saturday morning there weren’t no peppers left. Those varmints had gone ate ‘em all,” said Piper.
Like many farmers in the area, Piper has been unable to afford crop insurance because insurance companies have labeled the Weser River basin a high risk farming zone.
[This message has been edited by Robyn_Hood (edited September 10, 2004).]
posted
Okay. Here's the work of a beginner. If anyone would like to do me the honor of looking at the full story, let me know. I'm just looking for some help with my writing in general, not necessarily for a critique on my story idea. (I know it's not really creative or original. )
So here's the first, um, 16 lines or so:
............................................... The Mountain King frowned and stared intensely at the damp floor. His courtiers stood before him, nervously awaiting his decree. The only light was a faint blue aura which emanated from his sceptre; the echo of dripping water was the only sound. The noblemen began to whisper. Something must be done! There were no more children under the mountain, and all the women were barren. One nobleman cleared his throat and ventured a weak, “Sire...” as the others shifted their weight. The King stood to his full height, his yellow hair wild, and his eyes cold. “I will take care of this myself. I understand our neighbors, the people of Hamelin, are known for their immense lack of integrity. Is it fair for children to grow up in such a place, led by the poor example of such corrupt parents?” A sneer spread across his face, and his courtiers murmured uncertainly. “I think it's time I talked with the rats.”
[This message has been edited by Lullaby Lady (edited September 28, 2004).]
posted
Well, here is the first thirteen, or so. I decided to go with a modern-day fantasy.
Sirens -
Jessica dropped the last two shopping bags on the coffee table in front of Priscilla and collapsed into one of the parlor chairs. Priscilla smiled at her, “Thanks for bringing those in. I simply had to get started on the list.” “Sure. I understand. We wouldn’t want to leave anything off the Wedding Master List.” Priscilla frowned and glanced at her for a split second, before continuing to rummage through the bags. “That was totally uncalled for.” “I’m sorry. I’m just a little tired.” “I know. These plans have been very tiring for both of us, but let’s keep our chins up. Saturday is the big day.” Jessica nodded and sank back further into the chair, thinking that she was more than a little tired of playing the three-fold role of best friend, maid of honor, and assistant wedding planner. Still, she had to admit, Priscilla and David would have a picture perfect wedding. It had all been planned with meticulous care. Of course, that was the way Priscilla handled everything, meticulously. After several minutes, Priscilla finished emptying the shopping bags, laid her clipboard in her lap, and tucked the pencil neatly behind her ear. “Well, Jessie, I have good news. We have almost finished for today." “Great. What’s next?” Priscilla glanced down at the clipboard, “Now, we need to interview the stripper for David’s bachelor party.”
### It's probably not the best beginning I have ever written, but I plan to keep working on it. I have come to really like this story, might even send it out to a magazine.
Still tweeking the ending, and need to give it a good read, but hope to have it ready, by tonight, for anyone who wants to read it.
posted
I'm withdrawing this post. Although I have the story more or less worked out, I can't seem to make it work. As we are now a week past the official deadline anyways, I am removing it.
RH
[This message has been edited by Robyn_Hood (edited October 06, 2004).]
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