Would like crits on whole piece (3780 words) in addition to the opening.
-
-
-
-
-
-
-

The mud bricks of the ceiling were cracked. Verwolin had ample opportunities to notice. She worked on her back in those days. Actually, she also worked on her knees, and leaning against walls, but on this day she was on her back, staring up at the cracked ceiling. Her skirt was hiked up around her waist. As the elf atop her sweated and grunted, Verwolin was spending the obsidian coins in her head. Ten sid, minus the three sid tribute left her enough for a piece of brown bread.

As the elf lifted his lanky frame from hers, her stomach growled. The elf winked his one good eye at Verwolin and threw some coins on the floor near the bedroll. She reached for them; there were five. She shouted but the elf’s long legs had already carried him past the door to the stairs and his head disappeared from view.

Two coins - nothing to eat today, unless she could catch and kill a rat, or another trick. Verwolin straightened her clothes and raked her fingers through her hair, then headed back to the parlor to lounge, and look available. She moved carefully down the stairs. The problem with stairs was they made her knees ache. Whoring was for a younger women. There wasn’t as much whore left in her as pain.

I think that you're trying to do something interesting with the opening...showing Verwolin's deliberate detachment from what's going on between her legs and all that. It isn't quite working.

For one thing, you open by commenting on the cracked "mud bricks" of the ceiling. That's not really possible. I'm also puzzled by the implication that it would be unusual for her to have more than one trick in a day. And the tribute seems a bit low. But plausibility issues aren't really how you judge a fantasy.

It's more a sense of inconsistency. The character and setting feel more like scraps pasted in from elsewhere rather than coherent inventions. Crumbling mud bricks, only pasted to the ceiling to show that she's on her back. An elf, to show it's fantasy, but paying for sex, because she's a whore. Seven coins for a meal, obsidian because...?