And M.LaVerne - if you'd like to scroll down thru the fragments and take a look at Legacy of the Medallion, you'll see where I originally started

In my opinion, the goal of the first 13 is to get the reader to want to read more. There's a lot that goes into that - you have to convince us that you're a competant writer, and you have to create an interesting situation (most easily accomplished by showing us a compelling character in conflict, but there are other approaches).

You don't need to reveal everything - opening with a chunk of exposition is deadly. And you can't hold back from revealing important things, or you'll be accused of withholding information as a cheap trick to generate suspense.

It's a hard trick to pull off. But if you can't hold people's interest for the first half page, they're not going to be very willing to read the first three chapters.

You're right, a novel is usually given a bit more leeway than a short story. Usually. A bit. But don't count on it. Published novels with a more leisurely start almost always possess at least one of the following attributes: 1) they were published some number of years ago, or 2) they were written by an author who already has a proven track record. Since this is now, and you don't (presumably) have such a track record, the leisurely start that doesn't bother you would still be a great hindrance in getting out of the slush pile (for those rare publishers that even accept unsolicited submissions).

Actually, it's even worse than that. Because so many novels do have to snag interest quickly, the reading public has grown more used to that--and more used to it means that they demand it more--and that in turn means that even with a well-known writer a substantial portion of the potential readership won't read past the first page without encountering something to keep them going. Which makes the editors themselves even less likely to read on. . . .

So while you don't need a hook, per se, and you don't need to start with a fight or battle (indeed, you probably don't want to), you do want to hit the ground running. You want to immediately introduce an interesting character in a well-defined setting, and at a time where either something is happening, or it's clear that something is about to. The more of that you have the better the odds are that an editor will turn that all-important first page.

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Based on the paragraph you've posted, I'm not willing to read the rest of the page, let alone 3 chapters.

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You may be right in your analysis, Beth, but
if I felt that way about a fragment I read here, I would either tell the person what I thought the problem was with suggestions on how to fix it, or I would skip it and go on to the next.
This kind of feedback isn't particularly helpful.
If I thought it was ready to go to an editor, I wouldn't be posting it here. I'm looking for some help. I know it has some problems. I agree, it's rough.
Thanks though, I'm sure you meant to be helpful.

For me, the difficulty is that you have opened with a paragraph of explaining. You're telling me about Dreth, which is always difficult to make engaging - but you're telling us about him in a vacuum. We don't know what kind of creature he is or what kind of world this is, or anything, really. So I read this and say "so what?"

Consider writing a scene that shows the things you've explained here. Show Dreth struggling to escape the island. Show me Dreth, show me what kind of creature he is, show me where he is, show me his problem and how he tries to solve it. You could then weave in the exposition.

It will take more than 500 words to do that, but that's fine.

Nevertheless, the quote that follows sets up your entire story, probably, and that's a good thing.

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There was only one way he could break the magic that bound him and that was to find the medallion that was its source and destroy it.

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Consider rewording this slightly (make it active and relevant, in other words) and starting with it. Then, show us how Dreth's shadows can take over soulless beings, etc. Step us through it. I would find that most agreeable for introduction to a story.

Then, gently ease and weave in the exposition as you go; always because you have reason to do so. Do not force it in, that's the death knell of any story. Remember, most of your readers want to be part of your story, not have it all spelled out for them right away. Take us along on the journey, please.