Hatrack River Writers Workshop   
my profile login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Hatrack River Writers Workshop » Forums » Fragments and Feedback for Short Works » The Drifter

   
Author Topic: The Drifter
cklabyrinth
Member
Member # 2454

 - posted      Profile for cklabyrinth           Edit/Delete Post 
Hello. This story is about 2200 words long, light sf, and I need readers to critique it. Here are the first 13. Thanks.

--

Thomas thought the magma viewing rooms to be only rumors—until he saw one with his own eyes. He dropped the tray of food when he entered the room and soiled the dress of one of the room’s occupants.

“Well, are you going to stand there and gawk, or are you going to get me something to clean this with?” the woman said, upset. Thomas just stood three feet into the room, not paying her any attention. Finally, he was brought out of his trance; a man, presumably the woman’s husband, was shaking his arm.

“Leave, and bring your supervisor in,” he scathed.

Thomas blinked once, looked at the man and smiled. “Right away, sir,” he said as he tried to back out of the room, only to hit the wall. His face turned red and he left.


Posts: 179 | Registered: Mar 2005  | Report this post to a Moderator
Lanius
Member
Member # 2482

 - posted      Profile for Lanius   Email Lanius         Edit/Delete Post 
I'd be happy to read your story. Please send as .rtf file.

[This message has been edited by Lanius (edited June 23, 2005).]


Posts: 77 | Registered: Apr 2005  | Report this post to a Moderator
wbriggs
Member
Member # 2267

 - posted      Profile for wbriggs   Email wbriggs         Edit/Delete Post 
I'll read.
Posts: 2830 | Registered: Dec 2004  | Report this post to a Moderator
NewsBys
Member
Member # 1950

 - posted      Profile for NewsBys   Email NewsBys         Edit/Delete Post 
Sounds interesting. I'd like to read it.
Posts: 579 | Registered: Mar 2004  | Report this post to a Moderator
Jeraliey
Member
Member # 2147

 - posted      Profile for Jeraliey   Email Jeraliey         Edit/Delete Post 
I'd be up for it.
Posts: 1041 | Registered: Aug 2004  | Report this post to a Moderator
cklabyrinth
Member
Member # 2454

 - posted      Profile for cklabyrinth           Edit/Delete Post 
Sent. Thanks all.
Posts: 179 | Registered: Mar 2005  | Report this post to a Moderator
   

   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Hatrack River Home Page

Copyright © 2008 Hatrack River Enterprises Inc. All rights reserved.
Reproduction in whole or in part without permission is prohibited.


Powered by Infopop Corporation
UBB.classic™ 6.7.2