“This is a dangerous place, Daereon.”
“Then why are you bringing me here, Father?” Daereon, barely twelve years old, stared ahead at the dark mountain that had been in his sight for several days. He and his father, Gaerard, had traveled nearly four weeks to reach this destination.
“We have discussed this, Dae. You are gifted, I think more so than I am. This is the only road to your future. There are no options.”
“Yes there are!”
“Dae ...”
“I could be a weaver, like Arthur. Or a smithy like Uncle Grey. He said he’d teach me.”
“No, you can be neither, nor any other profession than a wizard.

As for your story segment, I think you've started the story too late. I have nothing invested in the characters and there is no penetration into the head of either character. It's all chit chat. Consider starting the story earlier. Have the son feel some apprehension about this upcoming trip.

(edited for typo)

So, over all I'd agree with Spaceman, it's just a case of starting too late in the story. But I was intrigued as to why they were afraid, and I'd probably read on.

While I am aware that the piece is copyrighted by default, I prefer to take the precaution of stating so. Just a terrirorial quirk.

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While I am aware that the piece is copyrighted by default, I prefer to take the precaution of stating so. Just a terrirorial quirk.

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Just be aware that doing so raises a big flag that says AMATEUR. The choice is yours, but I would think twice before you put it on a manuscript.

Daeron dropped his box of newly collected eggs in dismay. It was happening again. The eggs were cracking and hatching out dragonets with slick, leathery bodies and crinkled wings. He had just been daydreaming about dragons, believing the reverie to be harmless. The frequency of his accidental transferences had increased over the past few weeks, and he knew what that meant. He tried to weave a spell to undo the hatching, but the dragonets still kept emerging from the chicken eggs. He needed help.

“Dad! Come quick!”

Gaerard, hearing the urgency in his son’s call, abandoned his experimental spell and dashed outside. He had a good idea that another transference had happened, and that Daeron could not

Edited yet again for spelling.

For your rewrite, these are the snippets that felt awkward to me:

believing the reverie to be harmless.

He had a good idea that another transference had happened,

latest catastrophe would be

The awkwardness I sensed comes from the choice of verb tense.

Edited for spelling.

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Fantasy is not written for readers who are unwilling to suspend disbelief.

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Because when somebody writes fantasy that does get me to suspend disbelief, it is usually because of an exceptional story. Putting dragons into chicken eggs in the first paragraph kills my willing suspension from the get go. I bothered to post because you did not lose me as a reader in the first version, but you lost me immediately in the second version. That in itself is reason enough to post--to let you know that your audience is beginning to narrow.

That may not be a problem. I write some stories that have an extremely narrow focus and therefore a very small target audience, but for those particular stories, that is the right way to write them. So just be aware that in some cases when you start talking about dragons right away, you are going to turn off some readers. On the other hand, there will be others who might not have been drawn into the story if you used the first version, but are drawn in by the very mention of anything dragonish.

To me, accidental magic turning chickens into dragons is preposterous because any kind of inherent magic will (for lack of a better word) evolve to be a competitive edge in survival. Turning chickens into dragons doesn't fit that description.

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Fantasy is not written for readers who are unwilling to suspend disbelief.

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Fiction isn't written for readers who are unwillingto suspend disbelief.

Readers of fantasy are more willing than the average reader perhaps -- more forgiving maybe -- but everyone has their breaking point.

I tend to be pretty forgiving but the movie Legend snapped my disbelief suspenders from the opening scene. I've never had so much fun heckling a movie in my life.

So, although I love dragons dearly, if you wanted to stay true to the mythical history of these creatures, you might change the dragons to basilisks. That would definitely up the stakes. However, I also think it would detract from the light-hearted tone of your story. After all -- if my memory's correct -- basilisks are deadly not long after they're born.