Domains.
The city night had its own persona of shadows and strobes. Lynx hung low within the back alleys scurrying close to the ground in concealment, ducking behind the scatters of other remains of the industry. In his hands he clutched his prize, a small static resistant bag containing a series of seven microchips flawlessly soldered to a small strip of circuit board, over his shoulder hung his weapon of choice, his home-grown cyberdeck. Being as discreet as possible he peered around the corner, aiming his glock towards the lighted circle at the opening of the alley towards the street, his breathing was getting heavier. He sensed his stalker.

Thanks for reading.

While I don't typically like this genre because I generally don't know what anyone is talking about, you'r doing a very good job of getting us into the genre quickly by bringing in key information (we know it's about computer chips, for crying out loud), but you don't go into technical detail of those chips, don't say anything that's too techie, which would definitely have pulled me out of the story. This to say that I think you handled that bit of exposition well.

However, I would have liked to know what those chips are for--is he planning on using it himself? Is he trying to sell it to a buyer on a street corner? Did he steal them? This is something Lynx knows, we should know it too.

Sentence 3 feels like it should be split in two--is it actually a comma-splice, or am I seeing things? I think, either way, that it would vastly improve readability if you just said "a small strip of circuit board. Over his shoulder hung his weapon of choice..."

On second read, you seem to like comma-splices. Just turn them into their own sentences, i.e.: "Being as discreet as possible he peered around the corner, aiming his glock towards the lighted circle at the opening of the alley towards the street. His breathing was getting heavier."

Also, "Being as discreet as possible" seems like an awkward construction. I think this is one of those "show, not tell" moments. Don't just say he was being discreet. What does Lynx do when he's being wary and cautious? How does he stand? What is he thinking?

About the last sentence: If he knows who his stalker is, I'd feel really bad not knowing too.

My $0.02, and while I'm busy this weekend I might be able to get around to reading it Monday. I'll post again if I think I can do the piece justice.

Now, it's defensible to be cinematic (telling us nothing about what Lynx is thinking), but I don't think it helps here.

Nit: that first sentence. You say the city has its persona, but then you don't do anything with it. I'd either expand it so we know what it's about, or cut it -- probably cut it, because I suspect Lynx's adventure will be more interesting.

On that note, however, you've already told us he has his preffered weapon over his shoulder. Where did the glock come from, so suddenly?

Your opening line isn't bad at all. The problem is you failed to develop it sufficiently before you went on to another subject.

The city night had its own persona of shadows and strobes.

Okay. I'll buy into that. Just, please, spend a short paragraph listing a set of details that support that statement. Then, and only then, go on to your next subject, which is Lynx and what he did amongst these shadows and strobes.

The city night had its own persona of shadows and strobes. Below, in the passageways beneath the streets frayed bundles of darkness moaned and crawled about searching for food. Bright, hard lights on the top of the highest buildings turned relentlessly....