It is a piece that is entirely reflective, and very introspective. So, there isnt a lot of action happening in the first 13, and that is how it needs to be.
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So, here it is:

The roses in my hand are hanging down to my side, their crimson petals softly glowing in the midday sun. The clouds seem to be splattered milk on the cornflower silk sky today, bleeding through it’s threads. I work in the Bibliotheque Paris ( Paris Library), and today I am off work. I spend most of my days here, sitting on this wooden bench outside Notre Dame, well at least those days that I don’t have to work. As usual I am writing, or rather scrawling across the thin lined pad of paper I have propped on my knee. I don’t know why I keep this journal, or even why today I went and purchased three roses. It seems that today will be a special day, a day that I won’t forget...
[italicized]There is a woman. Sitting, sitting outside Notre Dame.

It seems this is the kind of thing I'd expect to read in a literary journal (not that I read literary journals often, but I don't read _Analog_ often, either...). Some thoughts:

The idea is interesting.

You seem to be going for a decorative style. That's fine, but that, coupled with your intended market, means you should watch your word choice and descriptions even more than usual.

* "splattered milk" / "cornflower silk" jumped off of the page at me -- recall that even many poems don't rhyme today.

* The second sentence seems to say that the spattered milk is bleeding; something that "bleeds through" might make sense, but you've already got a simile in place, and reconciling "bleeding through" with the existing simile takes me out of the image.

* "writing, or rather scrawling" seems peculiar. Either this is an affectation of the narrator (which is possible, but it makes the narrator seem pretentious) or it's an affectation of yours coming through in the narrator (which is a distraction), but either way I would either say "scrawling" alone or just say "writing".

There are other minor issues that relate less to word choice and more to clarity of expression.

* I discover half-way through the paragraph that this is a journal that he's writing while sitting on a bench. One hand holding the journal, one hand holding the pen -- how can he have roses "in his hand" hanging down to his side? And since you indicate that he's sitting on the bench, why are they hanging down to his side rather than sitting on the bench? Get the image sharp in your mind first, and then write about it.

* "I work in the Bibliotheque Paris" and "today I am off work" makes it feel like you just told me something irrelevant, even though you seem to clear it up afterwards (I assume the BP is outside Notre Dame). Since you sit on a bench outside Notre Dame, I'm not sure why the Bibliotheque is even relevant at the moment.

* "I don't know why I keep this journal, or even why today I went and purchased three roses" seems to make this whole exercise irrelevant -- and that's directly contradicted by "It seems that today will be a special day". Those thoughts _could_ both be true, but they each contribute to a different sort of mood (ennui and anticipation), and thus build no mood at all when placed together. This is compounded by the fact that I don't have any reason for today to seem like a special day, as far as I can tell.

* "Sitting, sitting outside Notre Dame" seems odd to me. The narrator claims to sit all the time, and couldn't have noticed this woman for longer than he's been "sitting, sitting" outside Notre Dame, so the emphasis of the doubled "sitting" seems inappropriate -- she's doing no more sitting than he is! Either this needs to be her habit, or the emphasis needs to be eliminated, or there needs to be another reason that the emphasis makes sense. Right now it's not there.

I wrote this as if what I say is law. It's not; it just takes too long to include all of the precautionary it seems to mes and perhapses and so on. Your mileage may vary.

I don't have time to read right now (I still owe two other people critiques), but I suggest you go through the whole thing with a critical eye looking for disconnects like I mention above. If it's already done, you might put it aside for a month or more so that you can see it with a fresh pair of eyes. You may have an excellent story here -- as I said, I like the idea -- but I think the language you're using to expose it needs refinement.

I hope this helps,
Oliver

I agree, the concept is an intriguing one. I wasn't as bothered by the apparent contradiction between his being there that day and his not knowing why. I did wonder about his not knowing why he journaled- that felt to me something of a cop out, and my response was similar to oliver's, as in 'then why are we here?'

To me, the concept that he was compelled to buy these roses, but didn't know why, is an intriguing one, and thought you could actually bring it up higher.

I like how you're setting up a possible parallel between him (I'm assuming it's a guy) and the painter woman.

The first few lines were a bit too purple prose-y for me. I thought you could skip the info about the Bibiotheque Paris (and if you are intending to translate it in the piece, I'd suggest no t using paretheses and just refering to it as "the Library of Paris" or something.

The point about Le Bibliotheque Paris is very accurate. It is entirely pointless now [it was originally written as an assignment for a french class, and I had to have a french reference in it/have it set in France]. I had forgotten about that, and now I can cut it out.

The mental image is very clear to me, but I just now realized what is wrong with it, and I can easily go back and fix it. He is sitting on the bench, the roses are hanging over the edge of the bench, and his notepad is propped on his knee. But that is easily fixable.

I didnt realize that I had the ryhming with milk and silk.

::sigh:: so much work to do.

Oh, and addressing the "sitting, sitting" comment. That was very intentional, but the lack of formatting capabilities here [or perhaps lack of my know how] make it seem out of place.

The first paragraph are his thoughts, but not exactly what he is writing [thus needing to reword/rethink the scrawling/writing issue]. The next bit about the woman, "sitting, sitting outside..." is what he is actually writing.

Formatting this might help. If the first section were in italics, for example, and the writing was in standard roman, that would make the difference. (Or vice versa, I suppose.)

I don't think anything I commented on isn't fixable. It just needed clarification.

There is a lot of science fiction/fantacy/speculative fiction in here. I don't say this to dissuade you from writing Literary fiction and posting it here (sometimes I think we could use a little more of it, actually), but to give you a little perspective on how we read. You mention crimson petals softly glowing, and the idea that your MC can see into the past of the woman who paints herself. Some people are going to think that the flower petals are emitting light of their own accord, and that your MC is psychic. Just so you know.

I kind of like the idea you've got here, but currently your delivery seems to be lacking a little. If the story is only 1,200 words, then your story needs to be as compact as possible, and there is a lot of fat here. oliverhouse pointed out a lot of it, but I'll add my voice and comments too.

Who is this story about? The writer, or the woman? Your description kind of indicates that the story is about the woman moreso than the man, but there is an awful lot of focus on him, and how he goes about his day, and his job, blah blah blah. If the story is more about him than her, then I don't see how she plays a role in the story, other than as a piece of the scenery.

The first couple lines are a little purple for my taste as well. The language drops off precipitously after the second sentence. Either pick up the language of the rest of the piece (careful to avoid that awful shade of violet!) or tone down your opening.

And... welcome to Hatrack!

AH HA! Very good point. I normally post in the Novels forum, and typically only on Fantasy stuff [I usually write Fantasy afterall...], and this/these pieces are a little different for me. Thanks for the heads up.