posted
Sam Denerve knew about pain. He had completed a PHD in it—Advanced Torture: The Application of Psychological and Physical Pain had been the title of the thesis. He had studied off-planet, naturally. Then he had taught it for twelve years--so his first question when he woke was a no-brainer. “Were you one of my students?” he asked. The footsteps behind him stopped. Something rattled, but there was no answer. That was always the first rule—make them sweat, they can never sweat too much; it was what he had always taught. He nodded to himself, applauding the professionalism being shown. "No," the sound of the man's voice made Sam start. "I will use unusual techniques on you. I am an expert, too." Interesting.
[This message has been edited by skadder (edited April 01, 2008).]
quote:Are you saying that you aren't hooked, although you sense a hook that may catch others?
Yes. I don't like torture and I don't much care to read about it. But I imagine that in my dislike of violence I'm in a minority, so I think that others might find the hook tempting and read on.
I might, just might, read on if there were a hint in the first 13 that my expectations of torture won't be met. But I really wouldn't care to read through some awful scene to discover that, sorry. (I read past the first 13 of a story that truly revolted me a while ago, giving the author the benefit of the doubt, and really wished I hadn't. It quite spoiled my day.)
posted
The direction I was planning on taking was more comedic. (So not ready for readers) Not out right comedy but enough to make you smile...
I wrote a story last year which had a brief sequence where someone was tortured (they had a finger snipped of with some secateurs...) but the audience reaction was that I had pretty much written a gore fest. I think though it was when I likened the sound of it to that crunch you get when snipping a rose stem which seemed to lodge the event in people's minds. Anyway needless to say I realized that it was pointless turning off 50% of readers--might as well right other stuff.
Interesting that the mere promise of torture is enough to put people off. Torture is in many stories but is often glossed over for precisely that reason.
[This message has been edited by skadder (edited April 02, 2008).]
posted
I'll read it regardless of the tone or if it is gore, humorous, action, or sad. Your stories are unpredictable which is a major plus in my book. I've gotten a couple of rejections that said 'predictable'. I bet you have yet to hear that. Posts: 3072 | Registered: Dec 2007
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posted
Yeah I think the torture scared alot of people. Me two. But what I wanted to say reagarding the first 13, I had gotten the sense that there might be a little comedy involved, and you saying that only backed me up. I mean a man about to be tortured thinking its interesting, it made me laugh, in a morbid way.
Posts: 1168 | Registered: Mar 2008
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quote:Interesting that the mere promise of torture is enough to put people off.
I wasn't wild about it in Casino Royale but by the time we got to the torture scene I had developed enough interest in the story and sympathy for the characters to be okay with it.
The first 13 as it is now leaps straight into torture. (Well it doesn't, strictly, but I have a strong imagination.) Also, you mention that the story will take a comedic turn.
You might want to consider making the MC someone we sympathise with before getting to the torturing bit, and also foreshadow the comedic aspect, if you want to draw in us more sensitive souls.
posted
While the concept of reading a gorefest isn't appealing, that's not what this 13 promised, at least, to me.
Sam's background is psychological and physical torture - I know this because he tells me in the second sentance. The torturer tells you that the "torture" in this peice is going to be different from what Sam knows - "unusual." Now, I know my expectations of "torture" aren't going to be met. This is something different.
It's also a step to the side because of Sam's reaction - he's gone clinical.
I can see lots of places for this to go and all of them are taking the set up outside what I would expect from the first lines (ie kidnapping and "traditional" torture).
The curiosity about what happens next and the characters have hooked me. I'd read on.
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