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I wrote this for the 2x2 flash contest but since then I've allowed it to grow to 1300 words. I'm interested in comments on the first 13 and if anyone would like to read the whole thing I'd appreciate comments on what works, what doesn't. It's a steam fantasy.
The Big Wheel's cars formed a skyward circle of white gazebos, their brass window frames gleaming. Festooned with wild climbing roses and ivy, the wheel dominated the Fun Fair. At its base was Car One--the Mayor's office. Inside, Mayor Ferris squinted at the phone as his caller said, "I seen a dragon, I tell you." "Martha," said Ferris, "Remember your plague of frogs? Then toads? Then frogs and toads?" "I gaze into a crystal ball. I'm expected to predict plagues. But the dragon were real. I saw it, circlin' above the Boiler House, somethin' in its jaws." "We're too far north for dragons, Martha." "Maybe this one didn't read the Operatin' Manuals." "It's dusk. A big bat perhaps?"
I like this intro, especially, "I saw it, circlin' above the Boiler House, somethin' in its jaws" -- that was the hook for me. I'm happy to offer a critique of the whole thing, if you'd like.
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