posted
A topologist cannot distinguish a donut from a coffee cup because a continuous deformation can reshape one into the other. I repeat that mantra as the nano biotics drip into my arm.
The injection had not been bad, a hodgepodge virus cocktail designed to soften my genes, to make my DNA pliable and malleable for the nano invasion. I feel nothing beyond a quick needle sting, until the fresh I.V. marches cold nano engineers into my bloodstream. My arm echoes the cold. Over the next year, the rampaging nanos will reshape me to my new environment.
Humans are not designed to live four kilometers beneath the ocean, but I have agreed to the nano blueprints. What I will become should thrive in the darkest ocean depth.
But, please, God, will I still be human?
[This message has been edited by RDF (edited January 25, 2009).]
posted
The first sentence stopped me because I have no idea what a topologist is....having said that...the rest of it has a promise that the MC is going to change, big time, and his own fears are showing and that hooks for me///I would read on Posts: 690 | Registered: Oct 2008
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posted
Very nice. I'm hooked. And this usually isn't my cup of tea. You're tapping into deep, universal themes here; sets me up for something profound, so I'd keep reading to see if it pays off. Up front, I'd expect action of some kind, rather than prolonged musings, to follow hard on the heels of that enormous question at the end of the 13.
Posts: 226 | Registered: May 2008
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posted
I like it, but be careful. The question you ask is very big, and if the story doesn't deliver, it will disappoint the reader.
On another note, that question really tells me what the story is going to be about. I would assume thats the intent, and if it is you've done a great job. If not, well... I dont know. :P
posted
I don't really have any comments that haven't already been said. I'm hooked, and I'd be glad to critique a draft for you if you need readers.
Posts: 37 | Registered: Jun 2008
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