posted
Racela knelt and dried the little boy’s tears, then hugged him close. He cried as only a small child can--as though his world had ended. A part of it had, when his favorite dragon had died that morning, misjudging a turn in the morning acrobatics display.
“Don’t cry, Joren. Garm was old. He has gone to be with the Goddess. You will see him again, someday.”
“Only beings able to use magic go to the Goddess’ presence,” Agast said from behind her.
Racela closed her eyes and suppressed her anger with an effort. She didn’t believe that the Goddess was that narrow-minded. Even if Agast did, surely he was old enough to know when to hold his tongue. Sometimes comfort was more important than Truth.
----------------- Here are the first thirteen. The whole thing is less than 650 words. I wonder if I have actually managed to write a short story.
Anyone want to read the whole 650 words?
[This message has been edited by Meredith (edited May 02, 2009).]
posted
It's the last line that's most promising to me. If you'd you'd like another reader, send it to me.
Posts: 2185 | Registered: Aug 2007
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We'll see how well I did in making it into a story. I'm still not confident of my ability to work in the shorter format. But, those signs just HAD to be a story. It was too good not to try, anyway.
posted
Sure, I'll have a look at the whole thing. I've grown to quite enjoy the short form as a writing exercise lately. I'm looking forward to it.
Posts: 921 | Registered: Nov 2008
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posted
Okay, having had a few critiques now, I'm convinced that I was a little too hard on Agast in this story. He just got on my nerves for some reason, so I killed him off. But that doesn't really fit the rest of the story. So I'm going to change the ending so that his punishment for being so didactic is to have to listen to Racela say "I told you so". Posts: 4633 | Registered: Dec 2008
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