My problem is that I can't write synopses. I'm re-approaching my own for a second round of submissions.

I figure I'll need to say something about the series I'm writing, as well as the first five novels I've written.

So I would be very grateful if I could receive *any* comments about the following short overview.

I would be especially grateful if Kathleen would consider a reply.

Feel free to bruise where necessary - I *need* to know where I'm going wrong with my general approach to synopsis construction.

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OVERVIEW - THE SERIES

TECHNICAL ASPECTS:

"Chronicles of Empire" is a massive literary epic concept, projected to six volumes, each volume comprising approximately five self-contained novels.

The work is primarily character-driven, set against a backdrop of highly detailed and thoroughly researched mediaeval realism, the earlier novels also being interspersed with some elements of non-mainstream fantasy and speculative fiction.

Although the main market for this work will probably be for males in the 18-35 range, every attempt has been made to ensure that the series is comprehensible to any English-speaking person, with a US audience being particularly targeted. Reader accessibility has been a major concern throughout the writing, plotting, and character construction, with a particular emphasis on attracting female readers, as well as allowing a much greater accessibility to non-Caucasians.

The series is written in real time, primarily to bring out detailed facets of the characters and thus make them real apparent and easy to identify with. It also allows for realistic and often entertaining character interactions, which wholly remain attached to the overall plot structure.

The series begins with seven main protagonists, each having a range very different personalities. This is intended to help with reader identification, and thus ensure that any reader is able to emotionally identify to some larger extent with at least one of the main characters, and to some of the other protagonists to a lesser degree.

The plot, although superficially simple, is also highly complex and non-linear, in that each character and environmental element brings with it a set of sub-plots. These all weave and interconnect in a highly complicated three-dimensional way that is intended to be reflective of the complexities of real life.

However, the "Chronicles of Empire" series isn't simply about telling an epic story with entertaining characters. It is also intended to be an important work of populist philosophy. In seeking to recreate real life within the bounds of fiction, attempts are made to use character and plot actions to analyse the human condition at all levels, not simply personal, but the social and spiritual too.

The first volume seeks to introduce basic dialogues and debates regarding the nature of the Divine. However, the second volume in the series explodes into a completely original theory of being, that joins the languages of spirituality and science together in a wholly unique and intelligent way. It addresses a whole range of issues from the mechanics of life to an explanation of life after death, and attempts to rewrite some of the founding principals of science and religion.

The presentation is purposefully non-dogmatic. Certain characters will present elements of the ideas, while others will debate or even ridicule them. The intention being to allow a comfortable association between audience and characters, according to shared mindsets.

Such scenes are carefully constructed around others of particular dramatic or humour interest, to help ensure continual reader entertainment.

After then, while the plot continues to develop and the characters evolve, particular philosophical concepts already presented will be further explored and refined as the series continues on towards its conclusion.

What was it one agent said to me? Some thing about not asking about the movie deal the moment you got the agent contract.

Most agents go on a book by book contract with new writers.

Also, on the query---sorry, based on what you say, as an editor (Wild Child Pubishing)(on-line mag) I would not ask for it.

Lines like --Certian characters will present elements of the ideas----tell the agent little about the book or books. Put together a wining pitch that excites and draws the reader into the story and makes them want to read the book, like a jacket blurb. (but tell the end)

Goes back to a hard and fast rule---show don't tell.

Also, Kathleen may object to you posting it here---no more than 13 lines and there is a thread here for asking a reader to crit something for you.

Want to see wining queries---of best sellers check out Publisher's Market Place. Many top name agents list books they are seeling second rights to--I have found John de Lancies, William Shatners, Peter Davids, Owl Goingbacks, and many others agents there---take a look at the queries they have for these best sellers books. I think it will help you.

Costs 15 US bucks a month but I find it well worth it.

Send your e-mail to me and I will forward you one of their news letters.

srhowen@hotmail.com

Shawn

I've wondered myself if it all seemed a little daunting - especially to an overworked agent. I think your suggestions are probably quite valid.

Being so close to it all makes approaching a synopsis difficult, especially as it's very complicated to explain. I'll play with something for the first novel only, and post it in the crit section maybe next week.

Brian

I've still not been able to get hands on professional genre examples, so see if I'm heading in the write direction

[it isn't intended to be complete, yet]

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Synopsis

Overview - Chronicles of Empire: the series

On another world, someone travels back through time to destroy a mediaeval empire, in a vain attempt to change history and thus prevent the future destruction of their race and planet.

The series has two initial political dynamics - traditional imperialism, opposed by a rising republicanism. However, as the Corianth Empire collapses into a calamitous civil war, a third dynamic rears its head in the form of a dominant religious fanaticism.

The story is told primarily from the vantage point of seven protagonists, the survivors of which will rise from the battlefield, and their common roots, to conquer all and implement their own new age of empire - and irrevocably set humanity on the path to extinction.

Characters: The seven initial protagonists

DALATHOS is the archetypal warrior. Violent and strong, he seeks a cause to fight for, and eventually finds it when an effort to protect his home village leads to him rapidly filling a power vacuum as the Corianth Empire collapses. Employing an aggressive expansionist policy, he builds up a base of political alliances and will eventually have power enough to shape a new empire according to his own vision.

ERIN is an acolyte of the Corianth Empire's sole religion - the Order of Omicron - and he also has a secret heritage to the last great figures of that religion. In a continual struggle with his faith and his conscience, he will eventually confront the fanatics and decide the future direction of faith for the new formative empire.

JERITH was disinherited as a child from his noble heritage by political enemies of his murdered father. Jerith has since wandered aimlessly, helping others where he can, and sharing their hardships. Beneath his open and friendly exterior lies a man on a determined personal and spiritual quest. He is the glue that holds all of the protagonists together, and will eventually sacrifice his life to save Erin.

TILRION is a cold embodiment of vengeance. Seriously disfigured by flames of their disinheritance, he has the opposite personality of his twin brother Jerith. Tilrion is a spirit of fire spiritually tied to the earth, and practices a deadly form of martial arts. He will create the founding principles of law and justice in the new empire that Dalathos forms.

EZEBEKIAL is a traveller who has crossed space and time to try and prevent Mulrek changing time - for the survivors of the future apocalypse on that world will seed a new population of humanity - on Earth. Ezebekial is unable to fulfil his mission, and reveals the future scientific theories of his own time before dying as a miserable alcoholic.

ULRIC is a simple-minded peasant hunter with a gregarious personality. Widowed while young, he seeks his peace with the world and eventually combines with Dalathos to become an essential military ally. Ulric's calmer nature allows him to soften Dalathos from harsher policies, and when Dalathos begins his own blitzkrieg of the fallen empire, it is Ulric who is left to protect their achievements against seemingly insurmountable odds.

SIRATH was raised on the rough streets of a city port, and has a strong survivalist streak. He uses humour as a defence and forms a comedic double-act with Jerith. Sirath hates religion and turns his vitriolic angst against Erin. Sirath has a proficiency with numbers and later business ventures will expand to form the economic backbone for Dalathos's expansions.

Synopsis - "Enter the City"

The main plot elements and characters for the series are introduced and established.

[to be continued...]

And another point here is your query letter---the two page letter that gives the facts about your "book" (book one).

Try starting by writing the jacket blurb for that book only. Think of a: the problem in that book. Ask the question---will he defeat the evil (insert your fav evil here)--then answer that question to close book one.

As JK stated, it is highly doubtful you will sell a 30 book project. Publishers and agents want to know you can finish one book---as a stand-alone.

In that query is not the time to say I have written 30 other books about this world or this is a series----you may end your blurb with--the ending wraps up the (whatever) after a bitter battle fought over hot coals with ice daggers. It also leaves open the possible return of (evil that will be there in second book) making a series of books possible.

May I send you the complete manuscript for your consideration?

Then, once you have sold your first novel or your agent asks you if you have started on a second book, then say I have indeed started and or finished a second book.

You have to realize an agent or editor is going to see your book as a first draft---I know it isn't, they know it isn't, but to them it is in light of what editing may need to be done. The book you now hold dear and true is going to change a great deal between now and publication. Plot flaws will be discovered and fixed, ect. So book two will be as well and so on.

About the only author who I think sold the idea of many books--26, is Sue Grafton--her alphabet mystery books. And I believe that on her first A is for Alibi, that she sold it as a one book thing and went from there.

Get your foot in the door with book one, as a stand alone and the rest will follow.

But I also feel that my first novel will not survive being marketed as a stand alone, simply because it isn't designed that way.

If the big publishers want the same formulated works then I cannot sell "Chronicles of Empire" to them. Period.

"Chronicles of Empire" is less like "Lord of the Rings" and much more like the "Mahabarata".

In which case, I should aim my marketing directly at the smaller publishers. There has to be one independent out there willing to task a risk with something unique and original, especially as I can deliver the goods and marketing. Which makes me optimistic.

I'll query agents first, then go direct to the independents.

And while I'm at it, I'm working on a sci-fi specifically targeted at big house publishing - short, punchy, 80,000 word target, maybe squeeze a trilogy from it - plus it's irrevocably connected to "Chronicles of Empire". And that makes me even more optimistic

quote:

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But I also feel that my first novel will not survive being marketed as a stand alone, simply because it isn't designed that way.

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But each "book" had an end to it in its own way that left the greater puzzle unsolved. So each book should resolve some plot part and leave enough open to go on, but satisfy the reader.

Anyone read the thread I posted--Most interesting? Go read it. I think it applies the same way here.

Consider another point--how old is the writer? Most writers finish a book every one to two years. It takes at the least a year to get each book out there.(editing, copy editing, production ect) SO any publisher is looking at a 30 year thing. I just don't see that happening. And as far as a small press goes---they would not have the funds to suport such a thing.