posted
Um...yeah, the title pretty much says it all: I've written my first battle scene, and, having never actually been in such a battle myself, I'd like some opinions on how it is. If you're interested, post your e-mail addresses, and I'll send it to you. It's about 1,600 words, give or take.
Chris.
PS--By the way, please be honest. There's nothing more irritating than a dishonest, or non-specific critiquer, especially one half a world away.
[This message has been edited by cvgurau (edited March 14, 2003).]
posted
Oh, I can think of some things that are a lot more irritating....bubblegum on the bottom of your shoe...no parking places near the mall and it is pouring rain...people who cut in front of you in the fast lane and then slow down...
Anyway...send it over and I will take a look...will take me a couple of days as I am leaving town for the weekend.
posted
Don’t think I have anything to help, but I find fight scenes incredibly difficult to write. To me as a reader I find them kind of boring because they work so much better visual. Like in a movie were you have the luxury of actually see the fight unfold, or as the director choreographing it. It’s really hard to add tension and excitement to a fight that’s written out. I’ve done it a few times and seen it done several but it’s difficult nonetheless. I’m just really not a fan of slugfests in prose; usually, they don’t come off that well. I’m sure yours in essential to your plot and you did I good job, I’m speaking generally and in regards to my own taste and experience. I hated writing the climax to my novel. People were expecting a showdown and I felt like I couldn’t deliver. But in my mind the climax of the novel was a character development and not the last battle. Just goes to show you how I write. You know me----characters > plot Which is how I think you set up a good fight scene. If the reader is attached to the character, than his/her safety or victory supplies the tension. That’s not to say one shouldn’t focus of the craft of a good fight.
Posts: 401 | Registered: Jan 2002
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posted
Want to write a better fight scene? Go to SCA meets. Better yet, join them--yup you too can get knocked around with a sword while wearing chainmmail<sp>.
posted
Ah, the SCA. I was more into the dances than the bash-me-with-swords sort, but I did love watching the fights.
You can send to me if you like. I actually enjoy writing fight scenes and have been told that they are pretty good, as in being easy to visualize. I'd be happy to help you out: hildy9595@aol.com.
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I've been in a couple of interesting...physical confrontations in my day. I'll be willing to let you know what I think, in my usual demure fashion Posts: 8322 | Registered: Aug 1999
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posted
You're welcome to send it my way: jlcrews26@hotmail.com.
What kind of battle is it? Like hand fighting, one on one, or armies clashing? You'll get my feedback on both, but if it's the latter, I may also-- with your permission-- let my husband look at it for accuracy (he's a former infantry grunt, Semper Fi).
(Yeah, go figure that I, as an USAF officer would marry a Marine grunt?!)
posted
I've written only one "battle" scene in my life, and I'm kind of avoiding the inevitable ones in my novel. The truth is, I'm terrified of writing one. I've never been in a physical fight in my life, and so the only thing I know about wars/fighting is what I've seen on TV and read about in books. I feel so unqualified to write convincing violence!
Besides which, I don't like reading about wars. But the wars seem to be necessary (at least one of them is). Is there any easy way to write a battle scene without doing a play-by-play account?
Sorry for pirating your thread, cvguru, but this has been on my mind for a long time.
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srhowen, your talk of SCA meets intrigues me...(raise eyebrow dramatically with a slight tilt downward/diagonal tilt of the head). What/when/where are they and how Do I join? Does it cost anything? If so, how much?
Chris
PS--Um, If you want the scene, I need your e-mail addys. I only have two so far. Don't mean to be irritating, but a couple of you said to send it, but supplied no addresses.
PPS-Brinestone, s'okay.
[This message has been edited by cvgurau (edited March 15, 2003).]
posted
My advice, when writing a battle scene, is to either avoid it, and/or practice it. You can avoid battle scenes by either switching to a character who reaches the battle after it's over(Tolkein did this with the battle with the kung-fu trees), you can have the battle seen from someone who is far away or just someone who can't see exactly what's going on. You should practice and seek input and learn them because it's a useful skill to learn how to tell about a battle. G'luck on it! Posts: 2 | Registered: Mar 2003
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posted
For the actual mechanics of battle, look to history. Find a couple of periods with weapons similar to what your world has and read about the way they actually fought. Read some analytical accounts of battles.
For what you actually write, imagine how your POV character would react to being in that situation. What would he (or she) actually see and understand? What would your character be doing, and where?
I would have trouble writing a "normal" battle scene myself. I'm very cold-blooded when it comes to violence. Explosions and bullets don't bother me. Nor do non-fatal wounds or blood. And I don't think that I would be very convincing writing a character that was bothered by such things. So I don't. Draw on yourself for your POV characters, I say. Draw on the world we live in for your ideas, though.
And everyone here but JOHN has their email as part of their profile. You can just click the profile button at the top of every post (it looks like this [ =?]) or the e-mail button right next to it (it looks kinda like this -=['=^]). Mine is Richard_C_Chiu@hotmail.com.
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I'll look it over, as well. I have no "in the flesh" battle experience but I do promise to be honest and thorough in my critique.
Posts: 70 | Registered: Nov 2002
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posted
Brinestone, this is how I handled it for my own book: One of the pivotal scenes in my book is the battle between the Imperial Army and the barbarian army. I certainly didn't want a blow-by-blow account; that holds no appeal for me, and while it might appeal to some, I certainly wouldn't be qualified to write one.
So I started off painting a big picture of the battle as the armies clashed-- basically describing the chaotic din, the general feeling of a soldier who would find himself deafened by the clash of steel on steel, feel the dragging weight of both sword and shield on his arms, etc. Then I narrowed in to 2 people briefly, then I pulled back out back to the battle as a whole. This gave the reader a view of the battle field (say, from a commander's perspective) as well as briefly, the human, personal side of combat. I think it worked very well.
Resources I used? Of course, Sun Tzu... But also the battle tactics of Ghengis Khan, who my barbarian leader is roughly molded on. I had a tiny little book about his strategies and army composition. I also looked up the War of the Roses for historical insight on longbow archers. And if nothing else, you could take a look at ANY of the battle scenes from Braveheart as a rough template, or the tv movie Attila which you can rent.
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Having been in numerous fights, football games, rugby matches and one real shooting war, I'd be glad to offer some perspective on your battle scene if you think it will help. Please send it to Agesilaus64@hotmail.com.
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I think JK is on to something. If you stick to one POV character during the battle, things will work out for themselves. But remember, that one character will not know much of what is going on in the battle.
If you get the chance, run down to your local library and read the opening scene of James Mitchner's Space. It describes a WWII naval battle, and it handles everything masterfully. First he spends a few pages describing the battle strategically, giving you the Admiral's eye view to set things up, which helps us understand the stakes. Then Mitchner moves to the crew of one important ship. We see the battle, and its aftermath, through their eyes. It's a very well written scene that seemlessly blends real historical events with fiction.
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Brinestone, I'm not sure... Unfortunately, ALL of my books are still in boxes pending the building of bookcases.
I think if you did a general search on the net for Ghengis Khan, you'd find all that you needed. Another little thought of resource would be found at your local "gaming" store. Most stores which sell gaming products-- ie, D&D, Warhammer 40k, etc-- also carry a series of books designed for hard core modelers (those people who recreate ancient battle scenes w/ miniatures). NO IDEA what the series of books is called, but they have pictures and factoids about a wide assortment of historic armies ranging from the Romans to the 6-Day War.
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