posted
I don't understand how this question is any different than the last one you asked about thinking.
I still don't like italics, but I won't get into an argument about it, either. If you want to use them, fine. But I reccomend against constantly using (s)he thought tags, too.
I am usually so deep into the mind of my characters that the (s)he thought tags get in the way. Which makes the story longer, but it makes me feel like the reader will know my character better.
edit: Quotes are for when a character is speaking only. It only gets tricky when you have dialouge within a flashback.
silli, you need to use these:[] instead of these:<>.
Ni!
[This message has been edited by kwsni (edited April 30, 2003).]
posted
If you use your POV correctly then the he thought she thought is not needed and does get in the way. Same with italics--I don't use them or the pronoun thought tags. Yuck.
posted
Here are some ways I'd do it, your writing style may vary:
Deep penetration:
quote:Her head hit the pillow. Now everyone hated her.
In deep penetration, you don't need any form of tagging, and including it would be a sign to the reader that you're switching perspectives.
Shallow penetration:
quote:She dropped her head to the pillow, thinking about how everyone hated her.
A short statement like "Everyone hated her" tends to stand out rather a lot, so combining it into the previous sentence makes it more reasonable. If this is too de-emphasized, switch the focus.
quote:Her head fell to the pillow as she worried about everyone hating her.
If the thought is so important that it deserves it's own sentence, it pretty much deserves deep penetration (at least briefly) and a little set up.
quote:She felt her head hit the pillow through the painfull haze of her thoughts. Everything stemmed from one fundamental problem.
Everyone hated her.
She knew that now; there wasn't any more doubt...
Note that I haven't used italics. They're more for an interruption. For example
quote:She only had five hours to sleep tonight. She dropped her head to the pillow. Everyone hated her. She pulled a blanket from the floor and wrapped it around her, then reshuffled so as not to crush her arm. Everyone hated her....
The more common reason for thought to be disruptive is during dialog, in which it's the interruption of deep penetration into a shallowly penetrative scene.
quote: "So how did school go?" her mother asked, moving into the living room. "OK, nothing exciting," she replied. "Making friends?" "Well," Everyone hates me, "yeah, a few; it's still awkward."
Notice that the scene apart from the "Everyone hates me shows no penetration at all and barely any sign of perspective.
posted
Narvi brings up a good point -- how you indicate what a character is thinking correlates with what point of view you're using. Narvi touched only on the very basics. For a really fine and thorough presentation of the subject, read OCS's Characters and Viewpoints. That book should answer your questions.
[This message has been edited by Balthasar (edited May 01, 2003).]
posted
Seems to me that you'd just put it in quotes, like any other dialogue. Only this time -- there's no one else there.
Posts: 1621 | Registered: Apr 2002
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posted
A character talking to himself/herself definitely needs quotation marks. This is especially true in fantasy and sci-fi, when the character might be talking to a clone, living reflection, molecular duplicate, quasi-spiritual counterpart, or imposter from the land of dark magic.
[This message has been edited by Doc Brown (edited May 02, 2003).]
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