posted
So, I’m re-working/editing a story that I’ve written quite some time ago. The male protagonist is Irish, and speaks with an Iris accent. Here lies my question…
So, how should his dialogue look?
Like this?
A.) "Look, I dinnae want have this argument again. I had some business to take care of, and then I picked up the fl0wers on m' way to the club. That's all there is to it," he answered emotionlessly.
Or
B.) "Look, I don’t want have this argument again. I had some business to take care of, and then I picked up the fl0wers on my way to the club. That's all there is to it," he answered emotionlessly, in his thick Iris brogue.
It’s like an eye exam. “A or B. B or A?”
Seriously, if I go with the second option three pages in the reader will forget he speaks with an Irish accent and I don’t want to have to keep mentioning it.
If I go with the first it could get REALLY annoying after awhile, and I’ve only seen the first done in comic books and Star Trek novels…
So, what do you guys think????
JOHN!
[This message has been edited by JOHN (edited June 17, 2004).]
posted
I'm leaning toward option A, but downplayed. Obviously you could have laid it on much thicker than you did. Just a little bit along the way, I think, doesn't get annoying as long as the sentences are easy to read. Unlike the extreme use of dialect like:
Look, I dinnae wan' to 'ave this argumen' agin. I 'ad some bi'ness to teek ceare o' thin I pecked oop the floo'rs on m' wee t' the cloob. Th's all thr' es to et."
But mostly his Irishness can probably, if you really listen to Irish speakers, be portrayed mostly by his sentence structure and choice of words. Just like you're going to know a character is a backwater hick if he constantly says: "I tell you what..." at the start of half his sentences. Or even clearer: "I tell you what, them boys down to the depot sure as hell don't know up from down!"
posted
If he doesn't notice that he speaks with a brogue, then don't bother to mention it or note it in any particular fashion.
The key thing is that if he really doesn't notice, then it has no impact on the story one way or another. There is simply no reason to put it into the story in that case.
More probably, he is aware of his brogue and even thickens it a bit on purpose when the mood takes him. Also quite likely, other characters will notice and react to his Irishyness if it is really all that pronounced.
Both of which mean that you never really need to contrive a display of his accent. Give him an Irish name and one scene early on where he deliberately plays up his brogue. If it is at all important to the story, then there will be plenty of places where it makes a difference and the reader won't have any problem remembering he's got that bit of character.
posted
Maybe a few times to establish the feeling. In a recent book I read, I enjoyed how the author, Harry Turtledove, had a German speaker sometimes place the verb at the end when speaking an exotic language (that of the Lizards).
Turtledove refrained from smashing it into me by repeating this gimic every time he spoke, but once in 20 pages kept me engaged.
Same applies to dialect. At least to me, dialect should be used like...pepper. Too much makes you sick, too little is bland but not noticable.
[This message has been edited by Phanto (edited June 17, 2004).]
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