posted
That was a stupid title for this thread, but oh well..
Anyway, I've got a question about describing minority characters as minorities without making the POV character sound like a racist jerk.
I've got a novel that I've written the rough draft of. It's a murder mystery with two main characters who switch POV's back and forth, and one of them is a police detective working for the St. Louis Police Department. My detective is white, but one of the cops who works closely with him is black. It only came up in the rough draft about halfway through when they went into a poor black neighborhood and Derek brought this guy, Travis, along. In the rewrite, Travis has become more important. I've given him a personality and a crush on one of his fellow officers. I want people to know up front that he's black, but it feels so awkward saying it. In POV, saying "Travis was black." sounds lie that's the first and only thing my hero notices about him. It just doesn't come up in his mind and therefore I'm having trouble justifying having it come up on the pages.
posted
That's a really good question. May I suggest putting Travis in a place where the color of his skin is significant, so that Derek notices it anew. For instance, two badly written examples:
---
Travis passed him the gun. As Derek took it, he was surprised, as always, by how dead his skin looked next to Travis's warm brown hand.
OR
Travis stepped out of the shadows making Derek jump. "Geez!" he said, "I can never hide like that."
Travis laughed, his teeth flashing white for a moment, "You're too white, I've got the evolutionary leap on you."
--- The first example is something that happens periodically with a friend of mine. I forget she's black and then am startled by how dead and white my skin looks next to hers.
Two other, possibly useful personal examples, I spent a month in India. Everytime I looked in the mirror, or picture and saw myself with any locals, there was a moment of surprise at how tall and white I was.
Summer teaching at a series of drama camps around Raleigh, NC. One of them was in a project. I was the only caucasion in the building; I was the only caucasion for a multi-block radius, and for some of these kids (too young to have gone to school yet), I was the only white person they'd seen up close. They all wanted to touch my hair and my skin. For the first time, I had a sense of what being a minority is like. I can not even imagine what it would be like to live your life being the one in a room who was 'different'.
SO- the short answer, is make some change in the environment so that your POV character notices the physical differences. Make sure the difference is positive. I think you'll be fine.
posted
I'd like to learn that also, please explain further... and can anyone who isn't fishbelly white like me also weigh in?
Posts: 2710 | Registered: Jul 2004
|
posted
I think that you can make the difference be neutral or negative and still get away with it. You could even just have Travis be the sort of guy that "plays up" his blackness a bit, most American born black men do, after all (and with a name like Travis, I'm not guessing he's from Ghana). He doesn't need to be a Rastafarian or anything.
On the other hand, if this guy doesn't "play" black, he's the last guy you'd want to take into a 'hood. Ghetto blacks really resent anyone they see as acting white, which means anyone that you can't identify as black the moment they speak.
So you could intro Travis by noting that he was[n't] in full blown gangsta rap mode, and why. You could also just frankly admit that he's black, and how the POV character feels about that. I doubt he'd be the only black guy on a force in St. Louis, but if he is, then that is something to notice. Even if he isn't, if racial tension is important in the story (which the sojourn in a poor black neighborhood and the specific selection of a black man for that task would indicate), then it is fine to mention it outright.
If it isn't very important and you are really set on not coming out and saying that Travis is black, then you could introduce it by comparison. Say Travis comes in and says hi to...we'll call her Sandra.
quote:It wasn't possible that Sandra didn't see how much Travis liked her. Unfortunately, even Derek could see that Travis wasn't Will Smith/Denzel Washington. He was a bit more like Chris Rock...without the money.
Still, if somebody's black, then go ahead and say it. It's no more racist than noticing that somebody's got red hair, and probably a lot less racist than noticing that an actor looks Korean rather than Japanese.
posted
One thing I've noticed about black men from the 'hood....and this is kind of how I see Travis...a lot of times they act one way at home and another way on the job. They can be quit eprofessional, with the black accent fading or even going away completely, but at home they're all stree talk.
Still, maybe I'm wrong characterizing him that way. He's on a police force that I'm guessing is almost a 50/50 racial mix.
BTW, racial tension is not of crutial importace in terms of being a driving theme or a large part of the story. It's not what the story is about nor is it on my list of top ten themes/morals. Rather, in its small way, it plays an important role, much like a character you only see a few times but whose appearance is important each and every time. It comes up in the investgation. Interestingly, this investigation reaches suspects from extremely rich neighborhoods to the ghetto.
I'm enjoying these suggestions. Let's keep 'em coming.
posted
I'll add to something Survivor just said. I think that he's totally right that you can just identify Travis's ethnicity and move on but, he cannot be the only character with physical descriptions. If you are defining everyone when they first enter the stage, so to speak, then defining him will be unnoticeable. If you define no one else, he'll stand out like a sore thumb.
[This message has been edited by MaryRobinette (edited August 12, 2004).]
posted
You could have a third character, a racist, make a snide comment about the black partner, then show the white partner's reaction or thoughts to that.
I agree that people can affect speech and/or accents as they need to. I myself was raised in the deep south, but do not speak with a southern accent, generally, because my parents insisted that their children's speech be as "proper" as possible. But when I wish to or need to, I can honey chil' and ya'll with the best of 'em! I certainly have no trouble understanding a thick southern accent nor speaking with one, if it suits me.
Susan
EDIT: I actually had pictured the third character as a cop also, but didn't realize I had not so stated until I read ambongan's post, below.
[This message has been edited by shadowynd (edited August 12, 2004).]
posted
My thoughts on the orriginal post are the same as shadowynd's.
You can have them walking along and hear a racist or crude comment, and have one of your cops knock him out while the other convienently avoids noticing the police brutality.
The issue of steriotypes is a tough one though. With all the fear of being politically incorrect we have becasue of extreemests, it is really hard to show different races except subtly.
In speculative fiction we have more ability to distinguish races becasue the diffences are usually differences in species. In my story I have two species and provide some subtle ways to distinguish them, but to highlight some differences and establish attitudes of characters and societies, I have racist hecklers apear near the begining.
There is nothing worse than reading 50 pages before discovering that a key character is different than you expected.
An insignificant third-party flat character is the first to point it out, probably in dialogue. So it isn't the narrator who makes the note of it, it's another character. Either to be racist or friendly that's how it can be done.
He can be another black person who calls him "brotha" or he can be the racist jerk and call him a "darky" or something.
There are infinite things you can do, but I'd toy with the idea of another character pointing it out just to get it clearly into the reader's mind right away.
posted
Just say, "Travis was black." When you meet a new person, you tend to notice things that make them different from you, and race plays a big part. When you (assuming you are white) meet a black person for the first time, do you notice that he/she is black? Of course, it's one of the first things you notice. When you meet an asian, do you notice that they're asian? Of course. When you meet...well, I don't want to belabor the point more than I already have. The point is, if your character were a real person, which is certainly the illusion you want to create, he would notice race. He would also notice differences in culture/bahavior/ideas/etc. that are based on race.
I certainly think mentioning a person's race is within the realm of politeness and inoffensiveness.
[This message has been edited by wetwilly (edited August 13, 2004).]
posted
I believe you are correct, wetwilly, if Travis was someone my main character was meeting for the first time in the scene in question. As it is, they heve worked together for the past three years so if his race is still something that jumps out at him I would think that would get in the way of doing his job. :=)
Posts: 3567 | Registered: May 2003
|
Then to whomever said to put him in a situation where his race matters so you can point it out, I second that. As a cop, that would be a fairly easy situation to set up. Have him and his partner arrest somebody who is either black or white. Perfect forum to mention the dude's race.
Or you could do it with his name. If you named him "Tyrell" or something like that, most readers would probably imagine him as black right off the bat.
posted
There have been times when it took me a while to notice what race a given person belonged to until I actually knew said person quite well.
But then, I tend to lump all humans together (yes, I'm a bad, insensitive man).
That said, once I know someone well enough to know the racial type, I don't suddenly stop noticing it, just like if I know somebody from Germany I don't suddenly stop noticing the accent.
Printer-friendly view of this topic
